So here we are now, less than 21 hours to 2009. It's said that the two years of our JC lives will pass faster than any other, and sure they did. These two years came and went, in a few moments, no more student concessions, no more student meals, no more waking up at 7am every morning and dashing around in school uniforms preparing for school. Us survivors of JC, like it or not, are on our way to greater, tougher challenges ahead. We're gonna face the world outside!


Life in VJ hasn't been easy. The struggles, be it in academics, CO, or emotionally, have many a time made me long to give up. But thank God, for leading me through each and every obstacle. I honestly couldn't have gone through all this on my own, not to mention survive till today. Take the A Levels, undoubtedly one of the toughest periods of my life. Each day was a dread and a drag, and the two weeks leading to the exams were even worse. The worry of the exams being a few days away yet I was simply unable to sit down and really study, the daily fights with my parents, the fear that I'll have to retake it next year. I had this really big quarrel with my mum a few days before my first paper. I was totally crushed, just wanted to give up the whole exam. Yeah it scared my dad so much, he actually said sorry for everything (my dad never ever apologises). But I really thank God for that quarrel. If my mum hadn't said what she said, and I hadn't reacted the way I reacted, she wouldn't have realised how hurt I was by what she'd done, and I wouldn't have realised how much worry and disappointment I'd brought her by doing so badly in school. A couple of weeks back, she said to me, "As long as you love God, I will not worry about anything." I was truly touched by her words. Thank God for blessing me with such a wonderful mum, a mum who loves God and loves me so much, though I've never been half of a wonderful daughter.


Thank God for VJCO, for the teachers who were so kind to accept me through DSA despite my average playing, otherwise I could have only dreamt about entering VJ. Thank God for every setback, every challenging moment, for these enabled me to learn a lot, taught me to never take anything for granted.
EZCO Concert '07 - This experience really humbled me. I've always had this mindset, that I'd screw up as much as I wanted during rehearsals, but the actual concerts would turn out fine. This time, it didn't. My solo was a disaster, and Mr Tay even told me off on stage there and then, in front of the entire orchestra. Thank God for the glitch, taught me not to think so highly of myself.
SYF - I've never been so stressed up over a solo before, cos out of 10 times, I'd burst that note 9 times. It was worrying, I didn't want to be "the one that cost us the Honours", didn't want to disappoint the orchestra and the teachers. But God took away my fear that day, replaced it with a confidence, and I probably played my best on that day. We didn't get the Honours, everyone was dejected and disappointed cos we really gave it our all. But God has a purpose for everything and looking back, I'm so glad we only got a Gold. Had we gotten the GWH, I'm sure we'd simply have felt smug, rejoice, and go home. But the fact that we didn't get it, that was probably the reason that bonded us together. Who'd forget that the whole orchestra actually stayed back in the concert hall to listen to the judges' comments and ask questions? Who'd forget how we cried together after listening to Mdm Wee's talk? There's nothing more beautiful than doing everything as an orchestra, celebrating together, crying together.
Vhapsody '08 - Thank God for the awful fever on that day, otherwise I'd probably have thought, I played so well, I did great, I'm so wonderful, I, I, I... That fever made me realise that I could've gone through much hard work to prepare for the concert, I could've been a consistent player before that, but just by being off-form on the concert day could've cost me the concert. It made me realise that plans and preparations could be flawless, but ultimately it's what God does that matters. Throughout the day I prayed, and kept thinking of this verse, "Through all these we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us." God really answered my prayers, and I couldn't have asked for a better ending to the six years of my CO life. I wasn't the one who was strong and overcame my fever, God was the one who gave me the strength to play. The orchestra wasn't the reason for our success, God was. It's not what we do, but what God does that matters.
Also wanna thank God for these people who've been of such support. The exco, for tolerating my nonsense. Guanyue, for though I'm nowhere near a good SL, you guys are always so cooperative. Zilu (GENIUS), for taking time off your busy schedule to come back and perform cos we really needed Shengs, for all our havoc moments during practices (singing and laughing non-stop), rehearsals, the HK trip, and for teaching me Chem! Mingcong, for making practices less boring and for always asking me to study lol. Zongxing, for being such a responsible VP, yet never ever using your authority on me during sectionals (you're one really humble person), for being of such support, and for always helping me in my many problems cos I'm such a procrastinator. Cephia, for being my longest-known pal in GY! Amanda, for all the notes and SMS-es of encouragement. Hongming, for ponning as many lessons as I did (lol) so I'd have company in the CO room.


Thank God for DHSCO, I never fail to get inspired everytime I go back to listen to their practices and rehearsals. The one thing that sets this orchestra apart from every other orchestra isn't imba skills, but unity. Not every orchestra has the feeling of moving the audience, but DHSCO has. We're not known as a legendary orchestra for nothing! To my juniors, I'm so proud of each and every one of you, all of you have certainly grown over the years. Continue to work hard, DHSCO for double Honours next year! :) Yes, thank you Suyun, Jeenise and Rachel, for being my ever-supportive and cute juniors, who always attend my concerts!


Thank God for 07S34, a class which I always complain about for being too mugger-ish for my liking, but I've no doubt that life wouldn't be that enjoyable if I'd been placed in any other class. Thank God for every one of you, and thank God for very nice friends I met. Huijin, for studying with me (yeah, more like you MAKE me study lol), helping me with my work, being so encouraging, and always collecting my stuff when I go MIA. Jieying, for asking me to study, listening to my random complaints about random stuff, and for just being mad lol. Mei Ching, for all your notes of encouragement. Sharon, for always being there to listen, and for your sudden msgs, reminding me to press on.
Chia Wen - Thank you and thank God for you, for bringing me to church. Thank you for all your wise words of encouragement, for keeping me in prayer. Thank God for an awesome friend like you, and thank you so much for everything. :)
Audrey Han - Lol, I used to think that you were such a slave-driver, msg-ing me on my birthday not to wish me happy birthday, but to remind me to do my GP presentation. HAHA. But really, thank God for you. You've been such a blessing these two years I've known you, constantly msging me, reminding me to study hard, perservere and never give up, giving me notes and cards of encouragement. Thank God for always speaking to me through you, through Bible verses at times when I simply felt terrible. Thank you for having been of tremendous support all this while. I've learnt a lot from you, and I can't thank you enough. Thank God, really, for placing you in my life. :)


Wanna thank God for the following people as well.
Yuqian, Lam Lee, Cristal, Joanne - My great buddies from 4C! Thank God that despite us all being in different schools, we've been meeting up often the past two years. Other than Joanne, who's in the UK, but we still meet up everytime she comes back. And I know we'll continue to meet up in future! I'll never find a bunch of friends like you all, cos I don't think anyone does such retarded and random things like we do. Yes, we know it very well lol. Thank you for all the fun, joy and laughter, and for being such wonderful friends. Stay mad, always!
Xianghong - Thank you for always encouraging me, even though we seldom talk nowadays cos we're in different schools and all that. But thank you for never failing to write me cards and give me presents on special occassions. Yes, you're forever my great friend! :)
Jinghan - I'll never forget our Primary 6 days, where we made so much noise that our places were changed. We were in different secondary schools, but thank God that we're once again in the same school. Thank you for all your words of encouragement, and for never forgetting my birthday after all these years! And I'm just so happy that you've accepted Christ. Thank you, and thank God for you!
Salyonn - Got to know you through H1 Bio, and it hasn't been a long time, but just wanna thank you for being so encouraging all this while. The bible verses you asked me to read the day before A's, they really helped, a lot. Thank you for reminding me not to give up, and thank you for being such a fun person to talk to during boring Bio lessons!
James - Thank you for all those words of encouragement, for your extremely artistic cards. Not to mention your ever-encouraging blog entries. You're truly a role model, in your desire to serve God to your every ability.
Liyin - Thank God for you, for all the msgs and bible verses to encourage me.


And of course, thank God for this one person who's always been there for me in joyful times, in depressing times. Thank you and thank God for you, Valerie! Hey Killer, your name's even in bold! Haha. We've known each other for 3 years. Isn't a long period, but like you said, the 1500 mins you spent calling me is a testament to how deep our friendship is. You're truly a blessing to me, sharing so deeply in my joys and sorrows, I know I'm never going through anything alone. I can always count on you to make me feel better everytime I'm stressed or discouraged. Thank you for always reading passages off your devotion book to me, and for all the bible verses you gave me, that never failed to encourage me. It's amazing, that we've gone through two major exams together, the O's and the A's. I still remember you telling me about faith during the A's, and I really learnt a lot from you. Thank God for you, always there to listen, always there to encourage. Thank you, KILLER, for everything! :) :) :)


Of course, thank God for each and every one of you! All of you, whether I've known a long time, a not so long time, or have just known. Yes, you, from Singapore, USA or the UK. Thank you for being in my life, thank God for you!


These two years have indeed not been smooth-sailing. But thank God for all the trials, trials that humbled me, taught me valuable lessons, and made me stronger. Most importantly, I've learnt that being a Christian isn't about merely going to church on Sundays to warm the seats but rather, it's about Christ. I guess the thing about being a Christian from young is that I haven't really understood what is Christianity about, but I claim to be a Christian cos my parents are, cos my parents say that I have to go to church and read the bible. It's not about knowing, but believing.


Here's a song to end the year!


Who Am I - Casting Crowns


Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart


Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are


I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours


Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love, and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me


I am Yours
I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours


Sorry for this extremely long post, I just had to say all that. It's been such a valuable two years! Hurray, the sun has risen! Yeah, I took forever to type this.


Everything in this life can and will fail you. But when everything fails, it leads you to the unfailing love of Jesus Christ.


:)

The concert was good. An almost full-house audience (when only 300 out of 800 tickets had been sold last Sunday), roaring applause, encore shouts, positive response from friends who came down. But I admit, I was falling asleep on stage. The feeling of performing in a professional orchestra and performing in a school orchestra's just different. To me, that is. I knew that after this concert, most would pack up, take their bags, leave. Unlike after a school concert, everyone has to stay back to clear any rubbish, everyone has to wait for instructions before we're allowed to leave. Also, for the next CCO concert, there'll be many new faces, whether as newcomers or replacements. Whereas a school orchestra performs together for every concert, as one orchestra with the same people. To put it simply, there's no existing bond in the former. And sometimes, the more professional one gets, the more likely he/she will focus excessively on individual technique, neglecting the orchestra, forgetting the beauty when music is simply played from the heart. I've never really thought much about this the past few concerts with CCO, perhaps due to the initial excitement of "Wow, I'm performing alongside my teacher!" and whatnot. But after 6 years of performing with different people, different types of people, different groups of people, I've come to realise where I'll enjoy myself most - Not just on stage, but on stage with one aim, one sound.


My long-winded thoughts aside, I was rather annoyed that we had a three and a half hour break from after our rehearsal ended to the concert time. What were we gonna do for such a long time? They could have told us to come later. I actually half thought of hopping over for Vibe! Haha. I wonder how I spent that time, part of it was spent with Beverly, circling around the backstage 65038192653478 times, invading the Xian Yue area to disturb Youbao and Melody each time before deciding to sit down and chat with them lol. Another interesting thing. I think the female singers probably spent the entire afternoon doing their make-up, cos each time they changed their dresses, they'd change the colours of their eyeshadow. One of them had a different coloured shawl for each item, and the other had shoes with LIGHTS. Debbie and I had to keep reminding ourselves not to laugh on stage LOL!


I'm feeling a little... Lost. A friend told me that I'm giving myself a big headache over a small matter. She doesn't see it as a difficult decision. Well perhaps it isn't, but it is for me. Cos I'm not a mind person, I have an indecisive nature, I don't wish to possibly disappoint anyone. Fact is I simply hate making decisions. I'll choose to run away and throw dillemas out of my mind to stick to the status quo. I don't know why I'm thinking of it now, but, I still don't know what to do. And, maybe I'm indeed just causing trouble for myself.


It's not what I do, but what God does.


Guide me.

"With God on your side, it matters not who is working to keep life's good things from you, for you need nothing more than God's guidance and love to ensure you of the things that you are most worthy of."

Helen Steiner Rice

I had a wonderful two days! First, on my day with DHSCO yesterday. I planned to only go back for the dinner, but Huijing the current GY SL called me the night before asking me if I could conduct the ice-breaker session for the lower sec, cos the upper sec had to go for a rehearsal. So I went back in the afternoon (at the expense of much needed sleep) and taught them... Animal Farm! What's GY without our traditional game man! The Year 1s and 2s are a rather enthusiastic bunch, it was nice to see them so spontaneous during the games and all. It was fun mingling with them! Besides the fact that I felt really old haha. Oh, this Year 1 girl came to talk to me and I didn't realise who she was until she said that she attended the EZCO camp 3 years ago. Dorothea, from Coral Primary! Amazing how she still remembers and recognises me. The name definitely rang a bell, but not the face. :/ But it's not my fault, most primary school kids change after entering secondary school right? Haha. Yeah, I'll never forget the 4 girls from Coral Pri, for being such a noisy bunch and for some "wonderful" name they gave me. Lol.

Captain's ball after the ice-breakers, where Guanyue was OVERALL CHAMPION! We've lost the title for too many years, nice to get it back once again. It was unexpected, cos we lost to Percussion in the first round, but we won them in the finals 4-0. Yeah, three cheers for Guanyue! ;D

The dinner was great. Guanyue was on an ultimate high, cheering non-stop haha. I've concluded that the Year 1s this year had it so much better than when we were Sec 1s. Cos with such nice and thoughtful seniors (yes, me LOL) bringing plates and plates of food for them, they had more food than we did! Haha, the Sec 1s are always the saddest bunch cos by the time it's their turn to take the food, there's only gravy left lol. Anyway, we had a good life yesterday, with Kuei Fu and Linda bringing the whole dispenser of drinks, what looked like half the number of forks and spoons provided and an entire packet of serviettes to our table for our exclusive use. LOL! It was really fun, and it was great talking to the juniors again. :)

Went to watch the musical put up by GLCC today, Ashes for Beauty, with Shimin and Jieying. It was really nice, superb songs, soulful singing, awesome acting. Such apt alliteration. HAHA. Some parts were really touching, especially the ending. I love the piano parts! There was a great message after everything too, but the pastor was speaking a little too fast lol. Was about how people often look for happiness in the wrong places, in earthly possessions rather than in God. We all have this emptiness deep down, we all want to be happy. Thus sparking off an endless pursuit for greater wealth, academic excellence, leadership positions... All this in a bid to fill that void in us, to seek happiness. Quoting the pastor's example, Madonna, listed as the world's most successful female artiste, US$490million to her name, more number 1 singles than any female artiste, is not happy, is still struggling to find her true self.

Two artists were asked to draw a peaceful scene. One of them drew a beautiful countryside, with a sun to illuminate the green grass, picturesque farmhouse, farmer walking behind strong plow horses, making his field ready for spring planting. The other artist drew a rugged cliff, with a crazy storm, dark clouds and fierce streaks of lightning, an isolated tree, a little nest on the tree with two small birds sleeping soundly.

We want peace and happiness to surround us. We turn to achievements and material possessions to give us this peace and happiness we yearn for. But none of it will give us genuine happiness, none of it will give us an inner peace. True happiness is not a result of situations occurring according to our wishes. True happiness is an inner peace amidst situations occurring against our wishes. This inner peace is not found in worldly possessions, but in resting in the assurance of God's love.

Thank you all for the Christmas cards, beautiful messages, greetings and presents! I was shocked by Audrey and Yuqian's cards. Audrey's had an entire page of words typed out in, font size 8? And Yuqian's had in big, bright orange, "DEAR POXFACE". I was super amused when I saw that! But anyway, I've got back my good complexion! NO MORE POXFACE!!!!!! Hahahahaha!

This Christmas, may the Lord's love and grace toward us dominate our minds. For where would we be without Him? Blessed Christmas, everyone! It's indeed one of my favourite occassions! The other being my birthday of course. HAHA.

Went back to DHS this morning to practise for the concerto. It felt strange walking into a classroom for sectionals after not doing so for two years. And walking past the 4C classroom brought back memories of the havoc days, haha. I kinda felt like an alien watching sectionals, after all I hardly know the Sec 3s and I don't think I've seen the Sec 2s before. But Weicheng, Suyun, Rachel and Jeenise came in soon after and I nearly jumped for joy when I saw them. I haven't seen them in ages and I miss them loads!


The practice was not bad. It's gonna be really cool, the solo in front will be played by 10 people, each of us playing a line. We'll of course have to ensure that there'll be no trace of any transition between a player and the next such that the entire part sounds like it's played by one person. With each of us having our own unique tone and every possibility of our intonation going off, it's gonna be a huge challenge. But, we can do it! :)


Went to watch the Senior High's orchestral practice after that. They were practising their SYF pieces. I've learnt to appreciate the set piece for our year after hearing next year's set piece. Lol! It's great to be able to experience a DHSCO practice after so long. Although I wasn't playing, the feeling of sitting with my juniors once again and soaking in the MUSIC was just wonderful.


Thank God.

I just attempted to entertain myself by playing Shout to the Lord on the Xiao and I succeeded. It sounded so awful it's amusing LOL! Alright, I'm not that good at the xiao. It sounds nice on the dizi! :) And I've probably woken the entire Lorong H up, blasting Mu Min Xin Ge at 1 am. But I don't have a choice, there's practice tomorrow, I haven't touched that song in 2 years, and after months of not playing serious songs my tounging's all over the place. Yep, I'll be joining the Dizi concerto for DHSCO's annual concert next year! If I don't pull out halfway, that is lol. And I heard that we'll have the entire 110-strong orchestra as accompaniment. Wow!


Got to see the new DHS today! The new-old DHS haha. Well, what was there's still there and what wasn't, kinda appeared out of nowhere and my first impression was that, wow, it's HUGE. The roundabout area's really beautiful. But whoever designed everything, has no colour sense. There's this extremely weird maroon block, which apparently is the general office. When my mum drove in she was like, "Your school's so funny, it turned brown!" >.< And the blue and white don't go together at all, especially that wall outside the auditorium with a mixture of blue, darker blue and white, looks like someone just played tetris there. It's like a blend of new paint and old paint, looks rather funny. But well, other than the colour, it's cool cos it's big! Hahaha.


The practice today was, of course, boring. The singers came and they were taking so many pictures, I'm sure at least ten of them will show me sleeping. Or trying to. Oh, the practice was at the auditorium which hasn't changed one bit, and brought back a lot of memories. All our monday assemblies where 4C would make a mad dash in every week (a few of us rather), collecting exam scripts and most importantly, our graduation ceremony! And then it's fast forward to two years later. Ha. I never realised the stage was so small, then half of Xianyue and the entire Cello/Bass section were below the stage lol!


Ding Laoshi totally amused me today. He was explaining Kelvin's absence, "He can't book out of camp today. Cos he has to catch Osama!" My goodness lol. And he's always walking around during practices with his suona, I don't understand why he's so busy but yes, he is. Lol! Not to mention that he's always protesting under his breath about funny decisions (they made amendments to the scores again), but loud enough for our whole section to hear and laugh HAHA.


Ticket sales for the CCO concert are bad. We've been asked to advertise intensively, be it through Facebook or whatever. But I'm pretty sure it'll be a full-house eventually. I mean, it's always like that. Anyway, I didn't break my promise, I'm intending for this to be my last CCO concert, not my last concert! Hahahaha.


My dad doesn't allow me to dye my hair! :(


I like the diving game on MSN.

Woooh I received my first Christmas card today, from Xianghong! The little good friend card's so cute! Yeah, my good friend always. :)


Speaking of Christmas cards, it's rather creative to write Christmas messages on serviettes isn't it? So don't be surprised yeah.


My eyes hurt now, have been bridging on Viwawa for so long. And Nicholas made me count 100 reindeers on the screen! Zzz... Oh, I'm gonna level up soon! Hahahaha.


CCO practice tomorrow... I'm sure it's gonna be exciting. I so badly wanna skip it but I think I shouldn't, since it's the last practice. Well, it better be the last practice, I heard that they wanna add some more practices. Which I'll probably cook up some excuse not to attend heheh. Anyway, looking on the bright side, it's at the new DHS, so I can ask my mum to pick me up yay!


Nice song I was listening to when I was trying to get to sleep last night. This morning, rather.


In Better Hands - Natalie Grant


It's hard to stand on shifting sand
It's hard to shine in the shadows of the night
You can't be free if you don't reach for help
You can't love if you don't love yourself


There is hope when my faith runs out
Cause I'm in better hands now


It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down
It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground
So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
I'm in better hands now


I am strong all because of You
I stand in awe of every mountain that You move
Oh I am changed, yesterday is gone
I am safe from this moment on


There's no fear when the night comes 'round
I'm in better hands now


It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down
It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground
So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
I'm in better hands now


It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down
It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground
It's like the world is silent though I know it isn't true
It's like the breath of Jesus is right here in this room


So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
I'm in better hands now
I'm in better hands now


VALERIE MISSES ME! And they're inviting me to lunch with them at NUH one day, cool huh! :D

I feel like my eyeballs are rolling all over the place, after staring at the screen for so long playing games. Anyway, after ten days of rotting in my shell together with the pox, I saw the light! Literally. Hahaha. It was almost weird to feel the sun's rays. Yeah, you know, the sun doesn't really like me, it rises shortly after I hit the sack and sets shortly after I wake up. So, feels good to finally step out of my house and breathe in non-pox-infected air. Hahaha.


I've not fully recovered, but I just had to go to parkway to get some stuff before Christmas. Went there with Yuqian, Lam Lee and Cristal. We were joking that they'll all get chicken pox for a second time. Lol! Ha. My mum thought that I was gonna get stoned by the public, but I didn't get any weird looks! Cos honestly, I just look like a skinny, innocent soul with not-so-good complexion. Not to mention I was on the verge of melting inside my jacket, its sole purpose to cover the random spots on my hands. Yeah, I actually look pretty normal. Not to myself, cos I'm still displeased with the condition of my face, but to the rest of the world. Wahaha.


DHS has moved back to Tanjong Rhu! No more travelling across the green line to get to Buona Vista, yay! I haven't seen the new campus, but soon. It's pretty interesting, the maroon building, rooftop tennis court with a hole in the wall so the ball can just fly all the way down to the basketball court, the mega huge CO room (yeah!), and so on! Yuqian, Lam Lee and Cristal went after our trip to parkway but I didn't go, I was way too hot and tired and uncomfortable and I didn't wanna be gallivanting around. And that reminds me, I still haven't collected my O Level cert. Guess they've already thrown it away?


Not going to watch Twilight with Jieying and Shimin tomorrow. :( But it's okay, we can go to Seoul Garden after I recover... To cook eggs HAHA. Gosh, it sounds impossible and scary, but I think I've lost weight! And it's making me sooooo sad. What with the first few days without any appetite, after that not being able to eat so many things, and me being such a picky eater, heh, I'm not surprised. Ah I wanna do so many things after I recover. I wanna play basketball, I wanna go to ECP and play frisbee, I wanna eat lots of things that I haven't been able to eat! Any interested sponsors for my Operation Gain-Some-Kilos? Come on, be kind to a patient. Otherwise when I disappear from the surface of the earth, all of you will miss me so much. :)


Wohoho, after days of frequent trips to the mirror attempting to kill the pox on my face by glaring at the spots but not succeeding, I think, I'm on the way to recovering my complexion! Hopefully there won't be any scars, otherwise it'll be payback for laughing at others when they complain about pimples (yeah Killer, you know this best hahaha). Oh well, at least there're signs of healing, thank God!


Pray, pray and pray that everything, everyone, will be fine.

I SAW REAL SNOW FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!


Through a webcam HAHA. Yeah Amos was kind enough to let me have a look at what it's like in Canada, snowing and all. The weather must be really beautiful there, with snow and bright sunlight! And Amos looks really different, from when I last saw him in person, five years ago? Time flies, yeah.


I think that the world is so small. Yesterday, Joanne told me that Shirlene lives next door to her in the school hostel or something. And Valerie told me just now that there's this girl from RJC doing the hospital attachment with her and Audrey, and she's from GLCC. I think the name's Patricia? Cos Valerie was talking about my chicken pox. Heh. Oh, I promised Valerie that I'll blog about this. The killer was the only one wearing a suit and high heels, which went tapping here, there and everywhere! HAHAHAHAHA! =D


I asked my mum when'll the pox disappear, to which she replied, "It may take three weeks." *FAINTS* But I'm not gonna believe that. Wahaha. I think my face looks better now, hurray! And I realise, I haven't bought Christmas cards yet. Don't blame me if I start sending out New Year cards instead. Roar, annoying pox.


The reason I'm up so late, I was waiting to take my last pill of the day. Honestly, I'm gonna develop a phobia for medicine after this. One more day to finish my medication! And goodness knows how many more days before the pox disappears sigh. Oh well.


If I could, I'd teleport over to Canada to enjoy the snow! But I can't, so it's dreamland for me. Heheh.

Haha. Wanted to share this a few weeks ago, but I forgot. It's part of an interesting email, the beauty of mathematics.


Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been in situations where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 101%? What equals 100% in life?


Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions.


If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26


H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11=98%


K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5=96%


A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5=100%


L-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4=101%


Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while hard work and knowledge will get you close and attitude will get you there, it's the Love of God that will put you over the top!


Cool huh? There's more in front, but I'm not gonna type strings of numbers in my entry. Hahaha. Take care everyone, God bless! (:

Yay, Siqian just sent me The Potter's Hand! It's such a nice song. And guess what, it's in G Major!!!! I played it on my Dizi a few days ago using that key and yay, it's the correct key! Hahahahaha.


Alright, just a random post to express my happiness. I'm still angry with my chicken pox. And Huijin laughed at me for only getting it now, saying that I'm childish. HEH I know people who haven't got it before! And I'm like super mature can! Hmph, after I recover, I'm gonna do sooooooooo many things. Getting out of my house is on the top of the list. Bah.


On a happier note, I don't have to go for the CCO practice tomorrow! Not like I was planning to go in the first place but the pox gives me a legitimate reason. Ha, Zheng Laoshi will have nothing to say about my sudden disappearance. Hmm, I actually have this very bad feeling that I lost my scores. I was using them as rough papers to do my SAT the other day HAHA. Oh well, I'll find them someday. Wahaha.


I WILL SURVIVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sigh, I threw my temper just now, feeling quite bad about it now. There was one whole big tray of popiah in my house and I was so happy to see it but my mum said that I couldn't eat it cos of some stuff in the vegetables, not sure what's inside either. Yeah, I was suddenly really angry cos there're so many things I can't eat. No chicken, no egg, no bean-related stuff, no beef, no milo, no seafood.......... Chicken pox, I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But not like it's anyone's fault, so yep, really shouldn't have lost my temper hee.


Just watched Survivor, and I just love this season so much, there's no end to the number of surprises! Yay, Sugar and Matty for the win now! :D :D


Day 4 of pox invasion, doesn't look any better, many many pills left, a long way to go..............


Through God's grace, I will survive this! :)

I'm back from the GLCC Uth Consecration Camp. Yeah, I'm supposed to be back only on thursday, but life is always amazing and full of surprises. Amusing or shocking it may sound, I've got chicken pox. It's so unbelievable. I've been having an on-and-off fever since saturday night and a few spots appeared on my hands and neck yesterday morning, but Kong said they'd go away. It wasn't until I was bathing that I realised my whole body had the spots, and Siqian and Amelia said that it's most likely chicken pox, that I began to have the slightest suspicion. Prior to that it totally did not occur to me that it could be chicken pox. Yeah, I haven't got it before, but it's just so... Incredulous. Kong kinda confirmed it was chicken pox after that.


Ian came to tell me that I had to go home, and at that instant I could feel my heart sink all the way down. Yes, of course I wasn't staying there to spread it to all the innocent victims. Throughout the whole of last night I was really down, questioning why, why, why did this have to happen during my first ever church camp. I cried for a rather long time, couldn't accept the fact that this had to happen. The decision to go for the Uth camp was tough in the first place, with it clashing with the KPC camp. When I made up my mind, I did not regret it and though I went into the camp feeling a little apprehensive, a large part of me was really eager to find out what God has in store for me and the answer to where I truly belong. So I was truly disappointed that such a major disruption had to occur. But yeah, as Chia Wen said, the camp isn't everything, God has a purpose for everything. I have to trust Him.


Wanna thank Siqian and Catherine for calling and msging me last night. I was really touched, especially since I was feeling so miserable. Wanna thank everyone who has shown me concern during the camp over my fever too, Jean, and everyone else. All I pray for now is that I did not spread it to anyone, Jean especially, who had quite alot of contact with me. Lord, please watch over her and those who haven't got it before.


Shall talk about my first (half) of a church camp. My group's called JOY hahaha. Our cheers are really cute, and the people are just awesome. Nice and friendly and entertaining. Just look at the youthful energy the three 12-year-olds in my small group have. They remind me of the EZCO kids, but slightly more mature lol. The games were fun, with mud (eww), flour, running everywhere, bananas, soaked toilet paper, R&R with Siqian, taking photographs while everyone was frantically trying to whack some balloons, and much more! Hahaha. Yeah, I really enjoyed myself. But what I looked forward to the most were the messages. I think Pastor Chee Keen's a great pastor, he's really passionate. What hit me the most was his message on the first night, the paralysis of unbelief. I remember asking my mum quite recently, why is it that there are people who faithfully go to church every sunday, never fail to pray and read the Bible daily, yet do not behave like a christian at all? Guess it's about the heart, not about the mind. Not how much one knows that dictates how much one believes, but how much one believes that dictates how much one knows. It's not about hearing God's word, but experiencing it.


Argh, I'm itching all over, and I've got tons of medicine to take. Never before have I seen such a huge collection of tablets! I'm so tired of swallowing the big fat pills sigh. And goodness, I look horrible with all the spots on my cute face! I feel like smashing all the mirrors in my house but I can't resist making frequent trips to look at my disfigured face. Gross. Must NEVER NEVER scratch my face or I'll be disfigured for life! Ah I wanna mummify myself!!! Ha but thank God it's chicken pox, not some terminal skin illness.


I was looking at the camp booklet just now, and suddenly felt really sad again. All the blank pages, unfilled reflections, no chance to sing Make Me Like You, Lord, no proper conclusion... The camp song Believe keeps playing in my head now, makes me miss the camp even more! But yeah, I shall be with everyone mentally haha. Thank God for the good weather today, cos they were out tracting at East Coast Park. :)


Believe


Oh God You're amazing
You see right through out hearts
Jesus, You're so loving
You came to die for us
How could it be
How could You die for me yeah? So...


My mind, my body, my soul
Will gladly bow to You
The Word, the one living Word
I base my life upon
One life I surrender
I live my life for You
I believe you, my only God


Your Word everlasting
Will never pass away
Its light in the darkness
Will light my path always
Help me oh Lord
Help me to live for You now. So...


My mind, my body, my soul
Will gladly bow to You
The Word, the one living Word
I base my life upon
One life I surrender
I live my life for You
I believe you, my only God


Alright, I'm feeling much better now. (It's been 6 hours since I started blogging lol). It's my regret not being able to finish the camp, but it's not up to me to decide. Just wanna thank God for letting me experience half the camp, with wonderful people, messages, games, and food (though I wasted alot, alot of food). It's definitely been a refreshing experience for me, wanna thank every single person in the camp for that. I gotta look beyond the camp, the missed messages, the unfinished camp booklet, at the greater message, God's grander plan for me. I do not know what it is now, but I will in the future.


I apologise to everyone I ignored online last night, wasn't in any mood to talk hee...


One person I'd really like to thank. Yeah, thank you Chia Wen, for inviting me to the camp, for bringing a sleeping bag for me which took up half of your bag space and I only used it for one night (remember to disinfect it hehe), for helping me so much when I was not feeling well, for being such a fantastic group leader! Everytime I see you putting in your heart, soul and every ounce of energy into every game without a single word of complaint about any pain or injury, yeah, it impresses me greatly. Cos I'll never have that kind of perseverance. But please take care of your knee! Haha. Your unwavering desire to serve God, to commit all to Him, to bring more people to accept Christ, it's truly inspiring. Thank you so much for everything, and thank God for you! (:


Thank God for my first half a church camp, thank God for my parents, thank God for everyone's concern, thank God that my appetite has returned, thank God for my two days of Joy! God is good, all the time. :)


And finally, after 8 hours, I'm done.

Roar my fever's back! Really, of all times. But God sustained me through the concert with a fever the other time, so He'll sustain me through tonight too!


Off to look for panadol............ Zzz

Whoa, I'm feeling quite horrible. Had a fever last night, and I slept till about 3 plus this afternoon. I think the fever's gone but I'm still feeling super weak and all, and I can't eat! Argh. The camp's tomorrow... Hopefully I'll feel alright by then!


Speaking of the GLCC camp, I feel excited, yet a little afraid. Cos I've never been to a church camp in my life, yeah, explaining my mixed feelings haha. And I don't wanna go to camp feeling like that tomorrow! But yeah, God will provide!


On a random note, it took me six years to realise that I don't like CO music. But I love the Dizi. How ironic. Haha. Yeah, the reason why I'm always playing random contemporary songs.


My dad wants the area at the foot of my bed packed by tonight. And I have yet to pack for camp. *Moan* Oh yeah, thanks Vivian, for letting me kope so many things from you. A minimart alright HAHA.


Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God. (:


Till thursday!

He Will Come And Save You


Say to those who are fearful hearted, "Do not be afraid;
The Lord your God is strong with His mighty arm
When you call out His name"
He will come and save


He will come and save you, He will come and save you
Say to the weary one, "Your God will surely come"
He will come and save you
He will come and save you, He will come and save you
Lift up your eyes to Him, you will arise again
He will come and save you


Say to those who are broken hearted, "Do not lose your faith;
The Lord your God is strong with His loving arms
When you call out his name"
He will come and save


Thank God! Thank God for Chia Wen, Catherine, Siqian! For praying for me, sharing the gospel, being happy for me... God is really amazing. What can I say, praise God. (:


Went to sit for the SAT today. Reached ACJC at 7.10 when we were supposed to be there by 7.45 and just when I thought that I was super early, I saw Melvin already there. Lol! Yep, someone to talk to while waiting for Chia Wen. Heh. I decided that I'm not gonna put myself through another SAT. Gosh, the number of comprehension passages I read, I'm pretty sure nothing went into my brain. Not to mention that I was happily writing stories about Darwin's Theory of Evolution, Survivor and the Amazing Race. Don't ask me how, I was pro enough to link all that. Ha. Ha.


Was listening to the conversation between my dad and uncle during dinner just now. And I was just "showing off" to Vivian about mastering the ability of "looking uninterested, remaining silent, acting stupid" in front of my relatives. I just know that I have this image of living in my own world. But then again, these adults always talk about the same things. Just a few moments ago, my dad was talking about my PSLE and O Levels. I'm past being irritated, I'm just, well... People improve, people slide. It's not such a great deal, is it?


I've got quite a lot to say, but perhaps it's the lack of sleep, my brain's just zombified now. Anyway, was thinking of quite a lot of stuff last night. The past two years, how they really flew by so quickly, and I really mean REAL QUICK. My toughest two years, without a doubt, but probably the period I learnt the most. Last year, I was fearing that I'd be retained, today, I've graduated (at least, I consider myself graduated). I can't believe I got through the two years, can't believe I'm here now, can't believe I survived the tormenting A level period. But it's a fact, here I stand, a soon-to-be nineteen-year-old about to set foot into a whole new world. The future is uncertain, but God's grace has sustained me, and He will continue to guide me on this journey.


"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will take them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them."

Isaiah 42: 16

Rejoice, there's no CCO practice tomorrow! I'm not going next week either. That makes 3 practices, 10 plus songs? Lol, this must be one of the rare few concerts that besides Dream of the Red Chamber (only one part), I'm clueless about the titles of the rest of the songs. Doesn't really matter anyway. But great, this is the best time to lose my court shoes. Anyone has size 5 to lend me?

The best decision. (:

Happy birthday Xianghong! :) All of a sudden I'm reminiscing the good old Sec 2 days, where we went from knowing nuts about each other, to being really good friends. And it's a little regretful that we haven't really talked to each other in a long long time. But it's alright, thankfully for CCO (the only saving grace I think) haha. We must go out soon alright! Meanwhile, have a very special eighteenth, I
know it'll be an awesome affair! Warmest wishes! :)


As the Genius rightly put it, I can totally live the British time zone in Singapore right now. For the past few days, I've been sleeping at 6 plus am and waking up at 5pm! Incredible, huh? I already said that I'm nocturnal, and I need a night job. But for now, the only night job I can think of is working at the night safari. Now what if the animals escape? Hohoho.


Love Blossoms 2 is really funny, with the veterans' fantastic acting. I've been watching Crime Busters on Mobtv (HAHA) too, and that's another funny show. Yeah, quit laughing at me for supporting Singapore dramas, I just love the no-brainers. But really, give me my reality shows and I'll be more than happy. Too bad they're all ending! Speaking of that, Ken and Tina, please win TAR 13 and save that show!


"The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it."

1 Corinthians 10: 26

All that I have, is given by Him. He can give me everything, He can take it all away. Is there any point in wanting to gain the world? Let me learn to accept.


"I don't want to gain the whole world and lose my soul."

Yay, I've changed my phone! Decided to get the N79. Thanks everyone, for your opinions! But I'm just special. Hahaha. Oh, my N73 was in such a bad condition that the staff didn't allow me to trade it in. Bloated battery, cracks everywhere, missing button... But of course. I'm actually happy that I get to keep my phone. After testing my patience for more than two years, there's a bond you know! Lol.


It's almost 4am, the whole house is asleep, other than my computer and me. Ha. That's why I love the holidays! December, please don't fly by too fast! Look for a night job, anyone? Lol.


Here's a song, for you and me.


Broken Radio - Jesse Malin
I was thinking about another time
Still in my mind
When I used to know a little girl
High on this world


Your baby loves you more than you know
Raised on rivalry and rock'n roll
Moving to the motor City soul
She lets go
On the radio


Well we never had a lot of cash
But we loved those kids
Some say that she missed the boat
But she just burned the bridge


The angels love you more than you know
Raised on robbery and rock'n roll
Moving to the Motor City soul
She takes hold
On the radio


Stomachache Sundays
And books we never read
Well I was hoping one day
We might meet again


She used to talk about astrology
She was born in June
She danced with strangers and celebrities
Empty stars and the full moon
I was thinking about the universe
For what its worth
Or the one about the Phoenix bird
That died and then returned


The angels love you more than you know
Raised on robbery and rock' n roll
Moving to the Motor City soul
Moving to the Motor City soul
Sometimes I see her face
When there's no place to go
On the radio
On the radio
On the radio


Love the melody. The angels love you more than you know. (:

I'm super tired! I'm sleeping so much less than I did during the A's man. Guess I've been going out too much. But yay, tomorrow's SLEEP DAY!!!!! :D :D


Went for my granddad's big birthday bash on friday night at Four Seasons hotel. Just that no-brainer conversation of the adults got me thinking quite a lot. If you were a parent, would you rather your child be ambitious, maybe fringing on over-ambitious resulting in much unnecessary stress on his/her part, or would you rather your child be one happy-go-lucky kid? It's every parent's wish for their children to accomplish great things, but at the end of the day when goals aren't achieved, high expectations aren't met... Is the pain in watching their children sink into depression not as overpowering as the desire to see them excel? Then again, the grass is always greener on the other side isn't it. Parents always wish their children were as smart, as hardworking, as motivated, as capable as so-and-so's. But well, it doesn't matter. Sufferings are tests, trials are there to mould us to be the best we can be, for Him. Cos God knows best. But how easy I put it, I myself am still struggling with that.


Watched the musical, The Promise, yesterday. It was awesome, talked about the birth of Jesus Christ all the way till the crucifixion and resurrection. The crucifixion scene was really touching, reminding me again and again of God's great love for us, sending His one and only son to die for us. Jesus, who did no wrong, who suffered and died for us, the sinners. The resurrection scene was just... Magnificent. The whole "arising" thing and even the song, Arise, was just so... Wow! Triumphant, that's it! Haha. Yep, it's a really good musical. And cos of the crucifixion, this song kept playing in my head.


Above All - Paul Baloche
Above all powers
Above all things
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began


Above all kingdoms
Above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There's no way to measure what You're worth


Crucified
Laid behind the stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all


Desiree brought me on a small tour around NUS after the musical, which was held at the University Cultural Centre. Haha yeah, I can only say that it's BIG. On the way, the button from my phone dropped off! That's not surprising cos it always does. But each time I dropped it, I'd somehow find it back, whether on the busy streets of Ladies' Market in Hong Kong or in the VJC canteen filled with people. This time though, I just couldn't find it anywhere. Sigh. Let's observe a minute of silence for my gone-forever button! .................... Know what? It's a sign that I need to change my phone pronto. And I'm gonna do so tomorrow! :)


Happy birthday mummy! You will never see this, but I love you a lot and super a lot, I know I haven't been anything of a good daughter but... I love you! God bless! :) :)

My dad totally pissed me off just now. Certainly seems like I'm taking turns to quarrel with my mum, then my dad, then my mum... Argh, I hate this. Times like this, I can't wait to go out and work and earn money and stop relying on my dad so that he will stop thinking that I have NO CHOICE, I MUST MUST MUST listen to him. Come on man, that's the biggest ego I've ever seen in all eighteen years of my life. Yes, I'm eighTEEN, not eight! I was just... ANGERED to the brim just now. For the one millionth time, I'm priding myself for an exceptionally high tolerance level.


It's two days to my Annual Most Dreaded Event. Besides Chinese New Year, that is. Just now my dad asked, "So you're not going this friday?" My face lit up and I asked, "I'm allowed to not go?" To which he replied, "Of course you HAVE TO go." So... Why did he ask me then? Lifted my hopes for nothing! Right, I'm being rather mean here but... It's my relatives we're talking about. I'm so bringing my EZ link card along.


Thank God, for the verses I read just now. Reminding me time and time again not to take matters into my own hands, but to really trust God, that He will provide, He will overcome our troubles. I feel so much better. :)


I was rather surprised to receive a card from Audrey by mail just now. It was in response to the very belated birthday card I gave her last week haha. I was totally laughing and crying over the card, there're some really funny and touchings words inside. I mean, it's Audrey hahaha. Anyway, we've come to a conclusion - First impressions are ditz! She thought I was a very academically-inclined person when she first saw me cos I look super smart and serious. Haha! Hey, but it's a fact that I look smart and serious, no? Don't deny that. But yeah, I really must thank God for Audrey. If not for all her words of encouragement, I'd probably not have lived to take my A's this year HAHA. Okay that's a little exaggerated but yes, thank God for Audrey! :)


Give me some advice people, should I get the N79 or N85?
http://www.nokia.com.sg/link?cid=PLAIN_TEXT_1108507
http://www.nokia.com.sg/link?cid=PLAIN_TEXT_1109312


It's time to stop thinking so highly of myself.

Funny how I was so eager to blog during the A's and now I'm too lazy. Haha. Well, been thinking of quite a lot of stuff the past few days. Have been feeling rather crappy too. Perhaps the result of the fight I had with my mum (again) two days ago. I've been feeling really annoyed with my parents right from the start of A's, but I don't know why am I quarrelling with my mum so much these few days. Even about stupid things like my next dental appointment. Okay that's rather unimportant. That quarrel on saturday was a rather huge one, ended off with some unpleasant words being said. I was basically really upset for the whole night and I couldn't stop crying when I was praying. But thank God, for letting me apologise to my mum. I told her I love her, something I haven't said in... I can't even remember. Hee, I was just telling Valerie the other day that my family isn't like a family, it's like merely 3 people living under one roof. I'm just not an expressive person, even more so before my parents. But I love my mum a lot, really. I never ever show it though, and that's, sad.


I'm sleeping so much less than during the A level period, I'm incurring a major sleep debt. Going out too often I guess, so I'll try to stay at home tomorrow and SLEEP. Went to sing today, CCO practice yesterday (BORING), Vibe on saturday (it was awesome)................... Yeah, I'm just lazy to update about what I've been doing, so that's a summarised account.


I love this song, been hearing it a lot during the torturous A's period (I must take time out to blog about my toughest period ever, one day) and heard it in church the other day.


Shout to the Lord - Darlene Zschech


My Jesus, my Savior
Lord there is none like You
All of my days, I want to praise
The wonders of Your mighty love


My Comfort, my Shelter
Tower of refuge and strength
Let ev'ry breath, all that I am
Never cease to worship You


Shout to the Lord, all the earth, let us sing
Power and Majesty, praise to the King
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name


I sing for joy at the work of Your hands
Forever I'll love You, forever I'll stand
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You


Came across this verse yesterday. Romans 5: 8, "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."


There's a freaking cockroach in my room! ARGH!!!!!!!!

It's "Friday weekly" no more! Yeah, I'm here to celebrate the END OF A LEVELS!!!!!!!!!!!! No wait, there's actually Bio paper 1 left, on thursday. But well, let's leave that aside first, will I enjoy my holiday. =D


Chia Wen invited me to her church yesterday! Gospel Light Christian Church, I think that's what it's called. It was really nice, everyone was so friendly and warm and the message was really good. Talked about doing the right thing at the right time. I, for one, am always doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. Slacking when others are slacking, slacking when others are studying, slacking when I really have to study, slacking, slacking... And slacking. Yeah, and guess I really paid for it, with every possibility of re-taking my A's. But well, as Valerie said, reject all negative thoughts and trust God!


Then there's this endless pursuit for happiness, for wealth, for good results, and whatnot. Made me ponder over the importance of academics. Recalling James' inspiring post... We may fail in our exams, but we must never fail in our character. But which is truly more important to our parents? My mum always says, "You better work hard, or else everyone will look down on you and trample all over you." I guess, since we're living in this country called Singapore. If you get 4 A's, it's nothing. If you get less than 4 A's, it's... I don't know. Let's not even talk about the society, but just within the family. Ha yes, it's back to that depressing topic again. Face it, it's a material world.


Nah I'm not gonna get all emo again. Just sharing some of my thoughts. Ultimately, how much we're worth is not based on what others think of us. For God sent his one and only son to die for us, His beloved children. God loves us! Yeah Killer! Hahahaha.


All the best to everyone taking the bio paper 3 on monday! And to Killer, who very unfortunately has H3 chem the next day aww. GO GO GO! Praying for you! :)


Full marks for bio MCQ okay?

I realise that my blog's turning into some "Friday noticeboard", according to Vivian haha. And I realise too how right Vivian is, that the Singapore education system has totally killed my blog. Just look at how depressing my past entries were! Such a contrast to my usual nonsensical ones haha. Oh well, they shall be no more. :)


The most dreadful week, in my opinion, of the A's is over! I'm relaxing a little now, so here I am to give my million cents' worth. I don't really wanna comment on it, since what's done is already done, there's nothing we can do about it. But I really wanna thank God for sustaining me through this period, giving me the strength to carry on every day. Of course, thank you Valerie for being of such tremendous support! Honestly, I don't know how I'd have gone through this without you. That night when you said those words to me, "No matter what, don't give up. Trust God!", I was all of a sudden deeply touched. Yeah it might have just been a few words, but for some reason I was momentarily empowered haha! But seriously, you have no idea how much you've supported me this while, reminding me time and time again to have faith. I think I've learnt so much from you just this week. So thank you Killer! Maybe by the time you read this we'll be preparing for our duck tour HAHAHA.


Yep, those few days when I was on the verge of giving up, I really thought that I wouldn't be able to pull through. But I'm really thankful for all the encouragement from everyone, giving me the motivation to press on! And really thank God for this period, cos I've really learnt that we have to trust God, that He will provide and we must never take matters into our own hands. All I wanna do now is to commit all to Him.


Read these few verses from Psalms 127 this morning, and I felt a sudden sense of peace after that. Audrey told me something about this before, so did Valerie a few days ago.


Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.
In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat -
for He grants sleep to those He loves.


It's no longer about the A's. It's about fulfilling God's will, accepting His plans for us, because He knows best. :)


Join me for a holiday during my six-day break before Bio MCQ on the 20th? LOL!

The past few days have been tormenting, depressing, agonising, anything but enjoyable. It's not simply the bombardment of endless facts on Chemistry, Math and whatnots, it just feels like everything's gonna snap. My dad's been scolding me everyday cos he thinks that going out to study means going to talk, anything but study, and my mum's been telling me every single day that I'd better retake my A levels next year. Two days ago, I was at my cousin's place celebrating her birthday. That was one of the few times I felt like utter crap. My mum was going on and on non-stop about my results, telling all my relatives, "She failed every single subject for her prelims, I told her to beg her principal for another chance to repeat her A levels next year, either that or she has to go to Macdonalds' to work." She just insulted me during the whole time and I was like FUMING inside. And it's not that my relatives are a wonderful bunch of people to share all this with you know? Anyway, I was really angry for that whole night, till my dad had to come and talk to me. Not that it helped, cos my dad has been making me very angry the past few days also, scolding me time and time again. He asked me if I wanna give up, to which I replied, "I don't know, you and mummy have been making me very annoyed for many days, right now I'm just gonna do what I feel like." If it were any other day he'd have scolded me or something, but that day I was really angry and I was crying, and the A levels are in a mere few days, so he didn't dare say anything also, even when I was almost yelling at him, "I DON'T GO OUT TO TALK ALRIGHT!" Yeah.


My mum apologised to me that night. One thing about my mum, she has this tendency to insult me in front of my relatives and all, but she's reasonable. She will apologise if she's in the wrong, and that's what made me rather touched. Whereas for my dad, he's always in the right, which is why I haven't really been listening to him and I've actually been speaking very little to him these days. What's there to talk to him about, when he's dead convinced that I go out to talk and not study. Yeah that night was really bad, I couldn't concentrate on my work and I cried the whole night, so when I woke up yesterday morning I could barely open my eyes. Which made me decide to go back to sleep, all the way till 2pm. Yeah, scold me.


I don't know why, but I'm still feeling rather hurt after that day. And I keep thinking, to me it actually doesn't really matter whether I do well for A's. I guess what I'm concerned with is not my results, but how my family looks at me. I might not have mentioned this before, but my family's really snobbish, I don't feel one bit comfortable hanging around my uncles, and if I really do not do well, it's gonna be hard to put up with all the condescending tones, even when they're trying to sound concerned (I can see through that). As well as my mum, I seriously can't take anymore insults. That's where I must learn, I guess. Valerie was saying that God puts unpleasant people and situations in our lives to train us to be more flexible. It's like, when someone strikes you on the cheek, let him strike the other as well. That's flexibility, something I currently do not possess, something that God is training me to have.


I've been having thoughts of giving up now and then, but I know I can't, cos God doesn't want me to. With that, just wanna thank everyone who has encouraged me one way or another these few days, it really helped. :) Valerie read this verse to me that night, 2 Corinthians 4: 1 "Since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we never give up." Yes, I'm gonna perservere on! And so will all of you out there yeah! :)


With man, all this may seem impossible but with God, all things are possible. Lord, help me to commit all to you, for I can't do this alone.

For an A level student, I'm updating rather frequently eh? Lol. Past 2 days were spent studying with Chia Wen and Mingyao at the national library, Mingyao didn't go yesterday. I must say, it's been a rather fun and amusing experience. Not the studying, of course, but the queuing outside the study lounge way before it opens officially. The security guard must be the most awaited for person at that time, the moment he appears, the entire crowd's like squashed centimetres within the door, waiting for it to open. It totally makes the queue at donut factory look dismal. But there isn't really any queue at donut factory these days. HAHA anyway, yeah, the mad dash into the study lounge when the doors are opened is hilarious too. And it's difficult, almost impossible to reserve even a seat for a friend. Look what the Singapore education system's doing to students man, it's totally exemplifying our trademark kiasu-ism lol.


Went to school for a a bio mock exam today (so shouldn't have gone), after which was chem consultation. Haha I took 13 home after that and guess what, I met Jieren on the bus! I was surprised to see him, thought he'd be still stuck at camp. I proceeded to ask him the redundant question of how's NS HAHA. Yeah he was telling me interesting stuff about a few VJ teachers, of which includes dear Mr Ueng, who apparently holds a Masters (unbelievable isn't it) LOL. And during his tutorials last time, all he did was enter the classroom and ask, "Do you have any questions for me? If not, I'll go back to the staff room." LOL!! Thank God for Ms Lee. :) Oh, and he said that there was once Mr Ho was so angry with the whole class for not doing their tutorials that he refused to teach them and the whole class had to go to the staff room to beg him to go out. That really reminded me of Sec 4! Haha...


I had this song on repeat mode yesterday while studying. I think it's a really beautiful, touching song!


Completely - Ana Laura

The secret of life is letting go
The secret of love is letting it show
In all that I do, in all that I say
Right here in this moment


The power of prayer
Is in the humble cry
The power of change
Is in giving my life
And laying down
Down at Your feet
Right here in this moment


Take my heart, take my soul
I surrender everything to Your control
And let all that is within lift up to You and say
I am Yours and Yours alone, completely


This journey of life, is a search for truth
This journey of faith, is following You
Every step of the way, through the joy and the pain
Right here in this moment


Take my heart, take my soul
I surrender everything to Your control
And let all that is within lift up to You and say
I am Yours and Yours alone, completely


Right Here, Right Now
And for the rest of my life
Hear me say. . .


Take my heart, take my soul
I surrender everything to Your control
And let all that is within lift up to You and say
I am Yours and Yours alone, completely
I am Yours and Yours alone, completely


As day after day passes, the ticking of time signalling the start of the A's gets more deafening, my hopes are simply getting lower and lower. Right to the point where I wanna give up, but I know I can't.


It doesn't take any special talent to give up, lie down on the side of the road and say, "I quit." Any unbeliever can do that. But once you get hold of Jesus, or more accurately, He gets hold of you, He begins to pump strength, energy and courage into you and something strange and wonderful begins to happen. He won't let you quit. You may say, "Oh Lord, I don't want to go on anymore." but He won't let you give up, even if you want to. So keep looking to Jesus and follow His example. When you do, you'll keep pressing on no matter what comes your way.


"Take my heart, take my soul, I surrender everything to Your control"... That's what I've got to do now, have faith, that God will provide.


Congrats to Valerie and Audrey who got their 6-month medical attachment! Thank God! :) :)


Press on.

After my "emo-session" on friday, I had this sudden prompt (God's prompting :)) to msg Desiree and inquire about KPC's Youth programme. She was pleasantly surprised and I must say, it's really amazing. She said that she actually happened to think about me the day I msg-ed her, wondering how I am now. God works in mysterious ways, yeah. Anyway, I went to sit with the young adults during service on sunday, and it was an all-new experience. They were all really friendly, and it was just a very awesome, very warm feeling. :) Oh, Huiqi came to talk to me, announcing to everyone that we're related in some way but not sure what. Of course, no one believed that we're cousins or something HAHA. The cons of having such a big family, I don't even know I have distant cousins roaming around the world lol! And the proudest accomplishment of the week, I walked to church on my own! It took only 10 minutes, I was surprised. Yeah, thank God, for the wonderful service on sunday!


Went to school for chem consultation yesterday, and it was, well, short. After which Chia Wen and I went to study at the national library. We studied for 6 hours straight, and that's a big achievement for me okay! All the time that I'm home, I'm wasting my hours away. Sigh, there goes my A levels.


Once again on the issue of faith...

I don't know what came over me today, but I got into one of my random, emo moods again. Like, our JC life's really coming to an end, the A levels are in TWO weeks (faint) and after that we're all going our separate ways, I don't know if we're ever gonna meet again or have any class outings after that. Don't ask me why I'm thinking of such stuff when I'm supposed to be studying like never before, but... As I said, it's random haha. But really, as Valerie said... "Can you please mug now and emo after the A levels!" Totally true.


We got back our math mock papers today. I kinda just passed my paper 1 and I think I failed paper 2, not sure as I didn't convert it to percentage. I'm not too bothered by the score, more by my attitude. I've been having this delusion about my "natural proficiency" in math, that I can pass without studying for it. So not. And seems like I haven't woken up despite the numerous times I've been failing in the subject. I'm sorry, Mr Teo. He sounded rather disappointed just now, sigh. This brings me back to a post sometime last year. "Humility is estimating your worth under the might of God, being aware of your weaknesses, being conscious of others' strengths in comparison to yours." I'm sorry, Lord, for thinking too highly of myself at times. That said, I'm really happy for Chia Wen, doing so well! (Now you have no reason saying that you can't teach me LOL!) See, you can do it! :)


Haha, was talking to Vivian just now about some interesting and really hilarious stuff. "Why do you let those stupid kids play here and damage my stuff!" LOL!!!!! She told me about a badminton net in my grandfather's house and I was like, "What????" Anyway, please do not demolish the net, save it for me, after my A's! Hahaha.


I can't believe it's a mere 2 weeks to the big exam. And here I am, mulling over silly stuff, wasting my time online................ The worst thing is, I'm feeling so detached from God. Which makes me think back 2 years ago, when I was approached to join the youth group in my church, and I turned them down flatly. Yeah, back then I was still going to church to warm the seats, that's all. It's only after having met several wonderful friends that really changed my perspective. I can't say I'm a better person... I can only pray.


In times like this, times of darkness, times of weakness, all the more I have to place my trust in Him, that He will carry me on the tight rope.


I just want to glorify you, in all that I do.


With that, it's time to face up to reality. The beautiful thing is, I'm not fighting this battle alone. :)

One whole week of remedials, one word - draining. But I've got no complains, cos the mountains of work (mainly Chem and Math) forced me to complete my work every day. And I'm rather proud of myself, cos I made myself stay up every night to finish up all my work! Other than the chem practice paper 3 which I didn't hand in... But I still did it! Hahaha. Thank God. :)


Haha, Chia Wen came over to my place yesterday to stay over. But of course we were studying haha! We spent like 3 hours struggling with our stats remedial worksheet, a while studying some other stuff, and the most torturous 3 and a half hours doing SRJC's chem paper 3. We did the paper till 1 plus, close to 2. It's difficult, you know! I almost died in the middle of the paper cos I was soooooo sleepy and the first few questions were really tough. Not to mention that Chia Wen didn't allow me to skip an ionic equilibria question HAHA. But yeah, yesterday was really productive for me, cos I usually slack my afternoons away and only start rushing at night lol, hopefully it was for her too. And... I need to learn how to use the GC LOL!


We went to school for barely an hour today! Such a waste of time. Ha no, I'm gonna make the most of the remedials and do well for the mock papers! At least for math, haha.


Lord, please let me give all that I have, more importantly, please let me have faith. (:

Feel so sad now... Last day of school today sigh. Yeah there'll be like 2 weeks of remedials but today's like the last official day of proper school hee. I cried during the assembly but thankfully no one noticed. Cos the movie clip, Facing the Giants, that Ms Wong showed us was simply so inspiring and touching! And the song she sang is one of my favourites, which made it even more touching ha.


After farewell assembly and the special CT session, we went to finish watching Gattaca. The movie's nice, and Ethan Hawke's rather good-looking haha. I think the movie's really ironic, in the sense that someone who was born perfect ended his life in an incinerator, while another who was born with so many defects actually achieved his dreams. The endless strive for perfection. Haha.


Went to cut my hair today, after a class lunch with S34 at this place in parkway near the food court area. And we saw Edmund Chen! Gosh, it's hard to believe he's 46 haha! Back to my haircut. The hairdressers were really funny. They just can't stop commenting on my different-coloured shoelaces, from the last time till now HAHA. And the guy actually said, "Sit down, girl and wait for us to be done. Meanwhile, you can reflect on why you didn't tie your shoelaces properly." LOL! I couldn't stop laughing when he said that. And he kept insisting that I didn't tie my shoelaces properly cos I overslept! LOL!


Voice of Truth - Casting Crowns

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves


To step out of my comfort zone
To the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out his hand


But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again
Boy, you'll never win
You'll never win


But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says do not be afraid
And the voice of truth says this is for My glory
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth


Oh what i would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a Sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand


But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again
Boy, you'll never win
You'll never win


But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says do not be afraid
And the voice of truth says this is for My glory
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth


But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me


But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says do not be afraid
And the voice of truth says this is for My glory
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth


I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth


I will listen and believe to the voice of truth


And I will listen to You...You are....

Ha, hopefully this will be my last post before I start mugging for the upcoming A's. (I'd better mug). Yeah, we got back our prelim results and all that, not surprisingly, my grades are nowhere near decent. I actually had loads to say about the entire prelim journey but well, after having dragged this for so long I'm a little lazy to update about it. Anyway, I'm just really thankful for this rather traumatising experience, and thank you everyone for all your encouragement! :)


Bummer of the week. A few of the school's dizis went missing, and I've been commanded to replace them with my own. Yeah I guess it's my responsibility and all that but... Am I honestly expected to churn out so many dizis to be mishandled and pasted with funny labels... Er, I guess yes, I don't have a choice. I was initially hopping mad and decided to complain to Killer about it lol. And I just had to complain to my classmates during the break too. Mingyao's totally hilarious, he was like going on and on about what I should do LOL!! I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be complaining about this but yeah. Alright, I'm sorry!


Sigh, farewell assembly tomorrow. It's amazing how we were carefree J1s last year, occupied with PW nonsense but still having loads of time to hang around and do what we wanted, and one year later, we're all going crazy thanks to the A levels. It's sad, whenever I think about it. I'll definitely miss S34. And of course, the 2 years I spent in VJ! Oh well, everything must come to an end right? Ha.


Mug, mug, mug... The only thing that's not so boring now is my post-A-level-to-do list! Valerie and mine, rather. And it's really retarded.


1. Go on a taxi ride around Singapore (Val's, she's so gonna pay for me HAHA)
2. Go on a duck tour (Val's)
3. Extract my wisdom tooth (Killer, you're NOT coming along lol)
4. Buy the new Ipod Nano!!!!!!!
5. Replace my dying phone
6. NEW SONGS
7. Sleep 20 hours a day
And more!


For now, I should stop dreaming.

Whee! Been slacking totally the past few days, though according to my dad, I should be studying and not resting at all hehe. Went shopping with Valerie yesterday afternoon, cos both of us needed to get birthday presents. Guess what, we walked the entire marina square, millenia walk, suntec city and raffles place and we left empty-handed. Other than a few cards, that is. There was simply nothing to buy, or maybe it was just us HAHA. We decided to go to bugis and we actually cabbed there. It was a mere few hundred metres or so and we cabbed! Such a waste of money hahaha. We still didn't get anything from there. Sigh, the stuff nowadays... Lol.


Went to meet Audrey and Mingyao after that before heading to Huijin's house at serangoon for the class BBQ. The journey was amusing, we realised we were taking the wrong line or something, so we hurriedly dashed out and then began a mad dash all over the place searching for the correct line HAHA. And how I hate taking the MRT during peak hours, there's always this risk that I'll be trapped between the doors and no sensor will detect it cos I'm too thin. Evil Audrey was laughing at me cos of that hmph! Yep anyway, we reached there safely to discover that we were late lol. But there were people who were later! Hahaha.


The BBQ was fun! It was my first time barbeceuing food you know!! HAHA yeah, that's kinda pathetic. But well, I learnt hahahaha. And I unintentionally dropped quite a lot of food through the grill into the fire oops! Haha stayed till around 9 plus, then left with Audrey and Mingyao. Lol, Audrey said that I should be a health minister in future, and my speech will go like, "Everyone, we're in the midst of SARS 2. Don't panic, just stay at home, rest a lot, eat a lot, sleep a lot and let the ants trail in your room..............." My goodness, she's super hilarious and she has a fantastic imagination HAHA. Yeah, the bus journey home was nice! My mum gave Audrey a lift home after we stopped outside VJ hoho.


Ah I was supposed to go to parkway today to buy my presents, but I wonderfully slept till 4 plus. Hehe. I shall go tomorrow then. And this might be my last day using the computer cos once I get back my results tomorrow... Yeah, you guessed it.


We will have troubles in this world, but He has overcome the world. So, trust God! :)

Prelims are OVER!!!!!!!!!! OVER OVER OVER!!!!!! Yeah there's still the A levels, but I desperately need a break now or I'll just go crazy. All I can say is that the past 2 weeks have been nightmarish but at the same time, thank God for this really taxing period, it made me learn. Yeah, till now, I STILL need a wake-up call. But I must believe that it will be the loudest, the most effective, the FINAL wake-up call. Cos with man, all this might seem impossible but with God, all things are possible!

Zilu a.k.a GENIUS flew off to the UK on monday. Went with Mingcong to send her off and there were quite a number of people there. Ancient CO seniors, apparently. Yeah, popular person HAHA. Was quite sad when I saw her walk in, but I didn't cry! Not like she'd be gone forever haha. Just talked to her online, glad she's adapting well! Yay, all the best there, Genius, and remember to tell me about cute guys!

Went to help Jieying with her A level art piece after bio paper 1 today. Quite a number of our class people went to help her, and I think it was really fun! We were supposed to glue paper maches haha. It was nice, having so many people there and talking loads of nonsense and laughing so much hahaha. Calvin and Taariq were super amusing, imitating all the weird noises of the songs they played lol. Anyway, most of them left by lunch time, while Shimin and I stayed to help. And Jieying treated us to Mos Burger! How nice. :) We were talking about the most retarded stuff over our lunch. About C-D-E-F and elements and whatever funny scientific terms that could have been probable names for our favourite person's kids HAHAHA. "Carbon Lim" LOL!!!!! After that, we went back to school to continue glueing the many small cracks. We finished around 6.30pm and after those many hours of bending, crawling around, kneeling on the hard floor, squinting for holes to paste pieces of paper over, I came up with a conclusion.

That I am too tall for all this.

LOL!!!! Anyway, take a look at Jieying's art piece!

Apologies, I realise it wasn't a fantastic shot. But it's about childhood and I think it's really cool, I'm sure Jieying will do well! GO GO GO Jieying! :D :D And yes, even though I'm too tall for all that bending, today was really fun! :D

I was really tired when I got home, cos I slept for only 3 hours last night. Was listening to my newly downloaded songs HAHA. When Valerie called me she thought I was dying or something hahaha. But I'm feeling very happy now, a temporal sense of liberation, hurray! And OMG, I'M GOING FOR CHEM TUITION TMR!!!!!!! Call me amazing. :)

Number one on my to-do list after prelims. Buy rope to tie myself to my study table!

The prelims must have been the toughest examination in my entire life. I finally feel the scare of impending doom. Haha, Valerie says it's a good thing cos I'm finally feeling stressed, shows that I'm human. I'm just glad that all this will end in abbout 8 hours plus time! Yeah, there's more to come but I just need a break.


Been struggling alot lately, like I know I gotta have faith but it's really hard to think that I can actually pull through this. I don't even want to think of how I did. And I will probably pon the first few tutorials for fear of teachers coming to talk to me. Oh well, I'll see how.


Right now, time for a short celebration! Things will be fine, yeah.


Have faith.................

Times like this, I feel like giving up. Chem, gone. Math, gone. More to go....






But I must have faith.

Whoa... prelims are a mere few 24 hours away and I'm still happily playing away my afternoons! Roar.


Short update on seoul garden last friday with Joanne, Lam Lee, Cristal and Yuqian. It was really fun, they were complaining that the soup had no taste and Cristal and I insisted that we had to throw some chicken inside but they refused to let us do it. So when three of them happened to leave the table, we threw a few pieces inside, with Cristal even throwing in a few strings of fats LOL. They said it was nicer when they tasted it, but refused to admit that it's cos of the chicken. Ha, they know it is HAHA. After that, we went to buy early birthday presents for Yuqian and Lam Lee since Joanne's flying off next monday. :(


I really have to stay up tonight to study, or my prelims will be GONE. I need a sense of urgency! But most importantly, I need to have faith. :)


Happy birthday daddy! :D

Roar! My dad took away my keyboard and mouse yesterday, cos he said I haven't been studying. That's just cos Joanne and Yuqian came over on tuesday and we were playing audition, and he kept scolding me heh. But I've been studying for the other days! Haha oh well. Don't ask me how I'm typing this blog entry, it's my "secret weapon" HAHA.


Went to school this morning with Chia Wen for math consultation. Haha we were shocked by how packed the area outside the staff room was. Amelia and Huijin were there too! They were having econs consultation hahaha. Honestly, the whole world's having consultation. Yup we studied in school after our consultation till lunch time. I'm a little clearer about stats now, but it's only a little, doesn't really make my hopelessness look better hehe. I'll practise more.


Headed to parkway for lunch and to get some teachers' day cards. Seeing it's my last year in VJ and some of the teachers have been really nice, thought I should show my appreciation, ain't I nice! Hahahaha. Anyway, I bumped into my mum at parkway. So cool, I didn't have to pay for my lunch lolol. :D Oh, we met Jingli there! That's my sec 4 math/chem tutor whose studying in the US now. She's flying back soon hmm.


I think I haven't mentioned this. Ricky Rubio from the Spain basketball team is really cute! And Jieying agrees hahaha. He's so young, he's only our age. Ah and Pau Gasol's super cool, his shooting's like always spot-on. Too bad Spain lost, but at least they have a silver medal. Haha alright, the olympic fever is over, time to STUDY MANY HOURS A DAY. Oh, the olympic fever burnt my TV, it's totally not working now. Oh well, at least there aren't any shows now. Come september, I'm gonna hog the TV downstairs muahaha.


Before I end off, special thanks to Mei Ching and Audrey! Mei Ching for the snack and very encouraging note, and Audrey for the msg a few days ago! That's really one of my favourite verses. =) Of course, thank God for such wonderful people in my life! :) :)


Seoul garden tomorrow, to celebrate Joanne's birthday! Albeit belated haha.


Ruth is a mugger, Ruth is a mugger, Ruth is a mugger, Ruth is a mugger................. :D

Applaud me, I had this sudden inspiration to pack my table yesterday! It was such a dusty affair, clearing mountains and mountains of papers. But anyway, I'm sure it's squeaky clean now! Lol. And I feel rather hardworking today. I got up at 11am (supposed to be 10 but it's still an achievement, cos I'm never awake on saturday mornings) to study bio. Even my mum was surprised that I woke up so early hahaha. Yeah and I just studied econs! =D


I think I'm starting to catch the olympic fever lol. I'm not an olympics fan, but I've been watching these few days. And three cheers for our table tennis, they're into the finals! =D =D Oh, and Michael Phelps is really cool, breaking so many world records this year. Which makes me wonder, why are there so many records being broken this year haha. Jieying and I ponned bio yesterday to watch the swimming events. When it was Phelps' event, the whole canteen was so packed and there was so much screaming for him, it was rather amusing haha!


33Miles - Hold On
I've been there a thousand times
Felt the rain like a thousand knives and it hurts
I know it hurts
I've been there like a fighter plane
Trying to fly my way through a hurricane and it's hard
I know its hard
Don't be afraid
You'll make it through
Just call out out to me and I'll come running to you


Hold on
Hold on
When the current pulls you under
And your heart beats like thunder
Just give me your hand
And hold on
Hold on
Until the storm is over
And I'll be fighting for you
Just give me your hand
And hold on


I'll give you hope
I'll give you faith
And if it's dark I'll light the way for you
For you
By your side until the end
Until you're standing tall again
I'm hereI'll always be here
And if the tide sweeps you out to sea
When your strength is gone
And it's hard to believe


Nice song! I think it's really touching. Hee I'm feeling a little sleepy. Gonna do math later. STATS zzz. Okay, I'll really not update so often anymore. Miss me, people!

Whee! I'm starting to love floorball! Haha, a few of us played during PE today. It's really tiring, running here, there, everywhere chasing after a small little ball. But it's super fun! And and, I scored 2 goals! Hahahahaha. One was beautiful but tyco, the other one was just retarded cos there wasn't anyone standing in front of the goal LOL. My legs are so tired now. And I don't know what I did while playing just now, but I moved my leg and my thigh suddenly hurt like anything. Thankfully it was better after a while. Haha!


Guess I won't be blogging much, gotta STUDY. Roar, I just spent an unproductive afternoon searching for my chem prelim papers, which still can't be found. I'll do some other practices later.


Oh, an update on my wisdom tooth. I went to see Dr Lim yesterday (who sacrificed her lunch break to see me, I'm really thankful!) and she said my wisdom tooth's growing in the right direction. But there's some eruption causing an infection of my gums, so gotta take antibiotics to heal them before I decide if I want an extraction. I wonder if I should extract it, should it cause me pain during my exams, it's gonna be really troublesome. Not to mention distracting. Oh well, I'll see how.


Meanwhile....................... I need to study!

Happy (belated) birthday Singapore! =D


Went to school for celebrations yesterday, and our class had a pathetically small number of 7 people present. Of which 4 were somewhere else, leaving only Gabriel, Jieying and I in the hall. Lol! It was rather sad, especially during the sing-along when everyone was standing in line with their classes and the 3 of us were looking rather lost lol! The celebration kinda ended at like 9 plus and I was bored, so went with Jieying to the art room. It was cool, so many interesting and artistic things lying around haha! I slacked there for a little while, after which I went to parkway with Valerie and Julia to slack some more. Hahaha I think Julia's super funny! Lol.


After that was singing, singing and more singing at Teo Heng! With Joanne, Valerie, Lam Lee, Yuqian and Cristal. It was really hilarious, Joanne making weird random effects and intentionally singing out of tune whenever she couldn't remember how a part sounded like. Haha and I developed an obsession for singing all guys' songs one actave higher. It's fun, trains my falsetto HAHA. Whee I wanna sing some more!! =D


Ha. I spent my national day feeling very lethargic and moody. Thanks to my idiotic wisdom tooth, which gave loads of pain, loads of agony, loads of misery, a freaking swollen cheek and not one bit of wisdom. Argh! It's really painful, and throughout the day I couldn't really concentrate on my work. Didn't make it better that my dad kept nagging at me just cos I watched a little of NDP. Sigh. I'm just hoping it'll get better after a few days of "tender loving care", if not, I pray that my dad manages to make an appointment with a dentist fast. And omg, I'm so not going to school with a swollen cheek! Lord, please relieve my pain. :(