I'm super tired! I'm sleeping so much less than I did during the A's man. Guess I've been going out too much. But yay, tomorrow's SLEEP DAY!!!!! :D :D


Went for my granddad's big birthday bash on friday night at Four Seasons hotel. Just that no-brainer conversation of the adults got me thinking quite a lot. If you were a parent, would you rather your child be ambitious, maybe fringing on over-ambitious resulting in much unnecessary stress on his/her part, or would you rather your child be one happy-go-lucky kid? It's every parent's wish for their children to accomplish great things, but at the end of the day when goals aren't achieved, high expectations aren't met... Is the pain in watching their children sink into depression not as overpowering as the desire to see them excel? Then again, the grass is always greener on the other side isn't it. Parents always wish their children were as smart, as hardworking, as motivated, as capable as so-and-so's. But well, it doesn't matter. Sufferings are tests, trials are there to mould us to be the best we can be, for Him. Cos God knows best. But how easy I put it, I myself am still struggling with that.


Watched the musical, The Promise, yesterday. It was awesome, talked about the birth of Jesus Christ all the way till the crucifixion and resurrection. The crucifixion scene was really touching, reminding me again and again of God's great love for us, sending His one and only son to die for us. Jesus, who did no wrong, who suffered and died for us, the sinners. The resurrection scene was just... Magnificent. The whole "arising" thing and even the song, Arise, was just so... Wow! Triumphant, that's it! Haha. Yep, it's a really good musical. And cos of the crucifixion, this song kept playing in my head.


Above All - Paul Baloche
Above all powers
Above all things
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began


Above all kingdoms
Above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There's no way to measure what You're worth


Crucified
Laid behind the stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all


Desiree brought me on a small tour around NUS after the musical, which was held at the University Cultural Centre. Haha yeah, I can only say that it's BIG. On the way, the button from my phone dropped off! That's not surprising cos it always does. But each time I dropped it, I'd somehow find it back, whether on the busy streets of Ladies' Market in Hong Kong or in the VJC canteen filled with people. This time though, I just couldn't find it anywhere. Sigh. Let's observe a minute of silence for my gone-forever button! .................... Know what? It's a sign that I need to change my phone pronto. And I'm gonna do so tomorrow! :)


Happy birthday mummy! You will never see this, but I love you a lot and super a lot, I know I haven't been anything of a good daughter but... I love you! God bless! :) :)

My dad totally pissed me off just now. Certainly seems like I'm taking turns to quarrel with my mum, then my dad, then my mum... Argh, I hate this. Times like this, I can't wait to go out and work and earn money and stop relying on my dad so that he will stop thinking that I have NO CHOICE, I MUST MUST MUST listen to him. Come on man, that's the biggest ego I've ever seen in all eighteen years of my life. Yes, I'm eighTEEN, not eight! I was just... ANGERED to the brim just now. For the one millionth time, I'm priding myself for an exceptionally high tolerance level.


It's two days to my Annual Most Dreaded Event. Besides Chinese New Year, that is. Just now my dad asked, "So you're not going this friday?" My face lit up and I asked, "I'm allowed to not go?" To which he replied, "Of course you HAVE TO go." So... Why did he ask me then? Lifted my hopes for nothing! Right, I'm being rather mean here but... It's my relatives we're talking about. I'm so bringing my EZ link card along.


Thank God, for the verses I read just now. Reminding me time and time again not to take matters into my own hands, but to really trust God, that He will provide, He will overcome our troubles. I feel so much better. :)


I was rather surprised to receive a card from Audrey by mail just now. It was in response to the very belated birthday card I gave her last week haha. I was totally laughing and crying over the card, there're some really funny and touchings words inside. I mean, it's Audrey hahaha. Anyway, we've come to a conclusion - First impressions are ditz! She thought I was a very academically-inclined person when she first saw me cos I look super smart and serious. Haha! Hey, but it's a fact that I look smart and serious, no? Don't deny that. But yeah, I really must thank God for Audrey. If not for all her words of encouragement, I'd probably not have lived to take my A's this year HAHA. Okay that's a little exaggerated but yes, thank God for Audrey! :)


Give me some advice people, should I get the N79 or N85?
http://www.nokia.com.sg/link?cid=PLAIN_TEXT_1108507
http://www.nokia.com.sg/link?cid=PLAIN_TEXT_1109312


It's time to stop thinking so highly of myself.

Funny how I was so eager to blog during the A's and now I'm too lazy. Haha. Well, been thinking of quite a lot of stuff the past few days. Have been feeling rather crappy too. Perhaps the result of the fight I had with my mum (again) two days ago. I've been feeling really annoyed with my parents right from the start of A's, but I don't know why am I quarrelling with my mum so much these few days. Even about stupid things like my next dental appointment. Okay that's rather unimportant. That quarrel on saturday was a rather huge one, ended off with some unpleasant words being said. I was basically really upset for the whole night and I couldn't stop crying when I was praying. But thank God, for letting me apologise to my mum. I told her I love her, something I haven't said in... I can't even remember. Hee, I was just telling Valerie the other day that my family isn't like a family, it's like merely 3 people living under one roof. I'm just not an expressive person, even more so before my parents. But I love my mum a lot, really. I never ever show it though, and that's, sad.


I'm sleeping so much less than during the A level period, I'm incurring a major sleep debt. Going out too often I guess, so I'll try to stay at home tomorrow and SLEEP. Went to sing today, CCO practice yesterday (BORING), Vibe on saturday (it was awesome)................... Yeah, I'm just lazy to update about what I've been doing, so that's a summarised account.


I love this song, been hearing it a lot during the torturous A's period (I must take time out to blog about my toughest period ever, one day) and heard it in church the other day.


Shout to the Lord - Darlene Zschech


My Jesus, my Savior
Lord there is none like You
All of my days, I want to praise
The wonders of Your mighty love


My Comfort, my Shelter
Tower of refuge and strength
Let ev'ry breath, all that I am
Never cease to worship You


Shout to the Lord, all the earth, let us sing
Power and Majesty, praise to the King
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name


I sing for joy at the work of Your hands
Forever I'll love You, forever I'll stand
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You


Came across this verse yesterday. Romans 5: 8, "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."


There's a freaking cockroach in my room! ARGH!!!!!!!!

It's "Friday weekly" no more! Yeah, I'm here to celebrate the END OF A LEVELS!!!!!!!!!!!! No wait, there's actually Bio paper 1 left, on thursday. But well, let's leave that aside first, will I enjoy my holiday. =D


Chia Wen invited me to her church yesterday! Gospel Light Christian Church, I think that's what it's called. It was really nice, everyone was so friendly and warm and the message was really good. Talked about doing the right thing at the right time. I, for one, am always doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. Slacking when others are slacking, slacking when others are studying, slacking when I really have to study, slacking, slacking... And slacking. Yeah, and guess I really paid for it, with every possibility of re-taking my A's. But well, as Valerie said, reject all negative thoughts and trust God!


Then there's this endless pursuit for happiness, for wealth, for good results, and whatnot. Made me ponder over the importance of academics. Recalling James' inspiring post... We may fail in our exams, but we must never fail in our character. But which is truly more important to our parents? My mum always says, "You better work hard, or else everyone will look down on you and trample all over you." I guess, since we're living in this country called Singapore. If you get 4 A's, it's nothing. If you get less than 4 A's, it's... I don't know. Let's not even talk about the society, but just within the family. Ha yes, it's back to that depressing topic again. Face it, it's a material world.


Nah I'm not gonna get all emo again. Just sharing some of my thoughts. Ultimately, how much we're worth is not based on what others think of us. For God sent his one and only son to die for us, His beloved children. God loves us! Yeah Killer! Hahahaha.


All the best to everyone taking the bio paper 3 on monday! And to Killer, who very unfortunately has H3 chem the next day aww. GO GO GO! Praying for you! :)


Full marks for bio MCQ okay?

I realise that my blog's turning into some "Friday noticeboard", according to Vivian haha. And I realise too how right Vivian is, that the Singapore education system has totally killed my blog. Just look at how depressing my past entries were! Such a contrast to my usual nonsensical ones haha. Oh well, they shall be no more. :)


The most dreadful week, in my opinion, of the A's is over! I'm relaxing a little now, so here I am to give my million cents' worth. I don't really wanna comment on it, since what's done is already done, there's nothing we can do about it. But I really wanna thank God for sustaining me through this period, giving me the strength to carry on every day. Of course, thank you Valerie for being of such tremendous support! Honestly, I don't know how I'd have gone through this without you. That night when you said those words to me, "No matter what, don't give up. Trust God!", I was all of a sudden deeply touched. Yeah it might have just been a few words, but for some reason I was momentarily empowered haha! But seriously, you have no idea how much you've supported me this while, reminding me time and time again to have faith. I think I've learnt so much from you just this week. So thank you Killer! Maybe by the time you read this we'll be preparing for our duck tour HAHAHA.


Yep, those few days when I was on the verge of giving up, I really thought that I wouldn't be able to pull through. But I'm really thankful for all the encouragement from everyone, giving me the motivation to press on! And really thank God for this period, cos I've really learnt that we have to trust God, that He will provide and we must never take matters into our own hands. All I wanna do now is to commit all to Him.


Read these few verses from Psalms 127 this morning, and I felt a sudden sense of peace after that. Audrey told me something about this before, so did Valerie a few days ago.


Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.
In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat -
for He grants sleep to those He loves.


It's no longer about the A's. It's about fulfilling God's will, accepting His plans for us, because He knows best. :)


Join me for a holiday during my six-day break before Bio MCQ on the 20th? LOL!

The past few days have been tormenting, depressing, agonising, anything but enjoyable. It's not simply the bombardment of endless facts on Chemistry, Math and whatnots, it just feels like everything's gonna snap. My dad's been scolding me everyday cos he thinks that going out to study means going to talk, anything but study, and my mum's been telling me every single day that I'd better retake my A levels next year. Two days ago, I was at my cousin's place celebrating her birthday. That was one of the few times I felt like utter crap. My mum was going on and on non-stop about my results, telling all my relatives, "She failed every single subject for her prelims, I told her to beg her principal for another chance to repeat her A levels next year, either that or she has to go to Macdonalds' to work." She just insulted me during the whole time and I was like FUMING inside. And it's not that my relatives are a wonderful bunch of people to share all this with you know? Anyway, I was really angry for that whole night, till my dad had to come and talk to me. Not that it helped, cos my dad has been making me very angry the past few days also, scolding me time and time again. He asked me if I wanna give up, to which I replied, "I don't know, you and mummy have been making me very annoyed for many days, right now I'm just gonna do what I feel like." If it were any other day he'd have scolded me or something, but that day I was really angry and I was crying, and the A levels are in a mere few days, so he didn't dare say anything also, even when I was almost yelling at him, "I DON'T GO OUT TO TALK ALRIGHT!" Yeah.


My mum apologised to me that night. One thing about my mum, she has this tendency to insult me in front of my relatives and all, but she's reasonable. She will apologise if she's in the wrong, and that's what made me rather touched. Whereas for my dad, he's always in the right, which is why I haven't really been listening to him and I've actually been speaking very little to him these days. What's there to talk to him about, when he's dead convinced that I go out to talk and not study. Yeah that night was really bad, I couldn't concentrate on my work and I cried the whole night, so when I woke up yesterday morning I could barely open my eyes. Which made me decide to go back to sleep, all the way till 2pm. Yeah, scold me.


I don't know why, but I'm still feeling rather hurt after that day. And I keep thinking, to me it actually doesn't really matter whether I do well for A's. I guess what I'm concerned with is not my results, but how my family looks at me. I might not have mentioned this before, but my family's really snobbish, I don't feel one bit comfortable hanging around my uncles, and if I really do not do well, it's gonna be hard to put up with all the condescending tones, even when they're trying to sound concerned (I can see through that). As well as my mum, I seriously can't take anymore insults. That's where I must learn, I guess. Valerie was saying that God puts unpleasant people and situations in our lives to train us to be more flexible. It's like, when someone strikes you on the cheek, let him strike the other as well. That's flexibility, something I currently do not possess, something that God is training me to have.


I've been having thoughts of giving up now and then, but I know I can't, cos God doesn't want me to. With that, just wanna thank everyone who has encouraged me one way or another these few days, it really helped. :) Valerie read this verse to me that night, 2 Corinthians 4: 1 "Since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we never give up." Yes, I'm gonna perservere on! And so will all of you out there yeah! :)


With man, all this may seem impossible but with God, all things are possible. Lord, help me to commit all to you, for I can't do this alone.

For an A level student, I'm updating rather frequently eh? Lol. Past 2 days were spent studying with Chia Wen and Mingyao at the national library, Mingyao didn't go yesterday. I must say, it's been a rather fun and amusing experience. Not the studying, of course, but the queuing outside the study lounge way before it opens officially. The security guard must be the most awaited for person at that time, the moment he appears, the entire crowd's like squashed centimetres within the door, waiting for it to open. It totally makes the queue at donut factory look dismal. But there isn't really any queue at donut factory these days. HAHA anyway, yeah, the mad dash into the study lounge when the doors are opened is hilarious too. And it's difficult, almost impossible to reserve even a seat for a friend. Look what the Singapore education system's doing to students man, it's totally exemplifying our trademark kiasu-ism lol.


Went to school for a a bio mock exam today (so shouldn't have gone), after which was chem consultation. Haha I took 13 home after that and guess what, I met Jieren on the bus! I was surprised to see him, thought he'd be still stuck at camp. I proceeded to ask him the redundant question of how's NS HAHA. Yeah he was telling me interesting stuff about a few VJ teachers, of which includes dear Mr Ueng, who apparently holds a Masters (unbelievable isn't it) LOL. And during his tutorials last time, all he did was enter the classroom and ask, "Do you have any questions for me? If not, I'll go back to the staff room." LOL!! Thank God for Ms Lee. :) Oh, and he said that there was once Mr Ho was so angry with the whole class for not doing their tutorials that he refused to teach them and the whole class had to go to the staff room to beg him to go out. That really reminded me of Sec 4! Haha...


I had this song on repeat mode yesterday while studying. I think it's a really beautiful, touching song!


Completely - Ana Laura

The secret of life is letting go
The secret of love is letting it show
In all that I do, in all that I say
Right here in this moment


The power of prayer
Is in the humble cry
The power of change
Is in giving my life
And laying down
Down at Your feet
Right here in this moment


Take my heart, take my soul
I surrender everything to Your control
And let all that is within lift up to You and say
I am Yours and Yours alone, completely


This journey of life, is a search for truth
This journey of faith, is following You
Every step of the way, through the joy and the pain
Right here in this moment


Take my heart, take my soul
I surrender everything to Your control
And let all that is within lift up to You and say
I am Yours and Yours alone, completely


Right Here, Right Now
And for the rest of my life
Hear me say. . .


Take my heart, take my soul
I surrender everything to Your control
And let all that is within lift up to You and say
I am Yours and Yours alone, completely
I am Yours and Yours alone, completely


As day after day passes, the ticking of time signalling the start of the A's gets more deafening, my hopes are simply getting lower and lower. Right to the point where I wanna give up, but I know I can't.


It doesn't take any special talent to give up, lie down on the side of the road and say, "I quit." Any unbeliever can do that. But once you get hold of Jesus, or more accurately, He gets hold of you, He begins to pump strength, energy and courage into you and something strange and wonderful begins to happen. He won't let you quit. You may say, "Oh Lord, I don't want to go on anymore." but He won't let you give up, even if you want to. So keep looking to Jesus and follow His example. When you do, you'll keep pressing on no matter what comes your way.


"Take my heart, take my soul, I surrender everything to Your control"... That's what I've got to do now, have faith, that God will provide.


Congrats to Valerie and Audrey who got their 6-month medical attachment! Thank God! :) :)


Press on.

After my "emo-session" on friday, I had this sudden prompt (God's prompting :)) to msg Desiree and inquire about KPC's Youth programme. She was pleasantly surprised and I must say, it's really amazing. She said that she actually happened to think about me the day I msg-ed her, wondering how I am now. God works in mysterious ways, yeah. Anyway, I went to sit with the young adults during service on sunday, and it was an all-new experience. They were all really friendly, and it was just a very awesome, very warm feeling. :) Oh, Huiqi came to talk to me, announcing to everyone that we're related in some way but not sure what. Of course, no one believed that we're cousins or something HAHA. The cons of having such a big family, I don't even know I have distant cousins roaming around the world lol! And the proudest accomplishment of the week, I walked to church on my own! It took only 10 minutes, I was surprised. Yeah, thank God, for the wonderful service on sunday!


Went to school for chem consultation yesterday, and it was, well, short. After which Chia Wen and I went to study at the national library. We studied for 6 hours straight, and that's a big achievement for me okay! All the time that I'm home, I'm wasting my hours away. Sigh, there goes my A levels.


Once again on the issue of faith...

I don't know what came over me today, but I got into one of my random, emo moods again. Like, our JC life's really coming to an end, the A levels are in TWO weeks (faint) and after that we're all going our separate ways, I don't know if we're ever gonna meet again or have any class outings after that. Don't ask me why I'm thinking of such stuff when I'm supposed to be studying like never before, but... As I said, it's random haha. But really, as Valerie said... "Can you please mug now and emo after the A levels!" Totally true.


We got back our math mock papers today. I kinda just passed my paper 1 and I think I failed paper 2, not sure as I didn't convert it to percentage. I'm not too bothered by the score, more by my attitude. I've been having this delusion about my "natural proficiency" in math, that I can pass without studying for it. So not. And seems like I haven't woken up despite the numerous times I've been failing in the subject. I'm sorry, Mr Teo. He sounded rather disappointed just now, sigh. This brings me back to a post sometime last year. "Humility is estimating your worth under the might of God, being aware of your weaknesses, being conscious of others' strengths in comparison to yours." I'm sorry, Lord, for thinking too highly of myself at times. That said, I'm really happy for Chia Wen, doing so well! (Now you have no reason saying that you can't teach me LOL!) See, you can do it! :)


Haha, was talking to Vivian just now about some interesting and really hilarious stuff. "Why do you let those stupid kids play here and damage my stuff!" LOL!!!!! She told me about a badminton net in my grandfather's house and I was like, "What????" Anyway, please do not demolish the net, save it for me, after my A's! Hahaha.


I can't believe it's a mere 2 weeks to the big exam. And here I am, mulling over silly stuff, wasting my time online................ The worst thing is, I'm feeling so detached from God. Which makes me think back 2 years ago, when I was approached to join the youth group in my church, and I turned them down flatly. Yeah, back then I was still going to church to warm the seats, that's all. It's only after having met several wonderful friends that really changed my perspective. I can't say I'm a better person... I can only pray.


In times like this, times of darkness, times of weakness, all the more I have to place my trust in Him, that He will carry me on the tight rope.


I just want to glorify you, in all that I do.


With that, it's time to face up to reality. The beautiful thing is, I'm not fighting this battle alone. :)

One whole week of remedials, one word - draining. But I've got no complains, cos the mountains of work (mainly Chem and Math) forced me to complete my work every day. And I'm rather proud of myself, cos I made myself stay up every night to finish up all my work! Other than the chem practice paper 3 which I didn't hand in... But I still did it! Hahaha. Thank God. :)


Haha, Chia Wen came over to my place yesterday to stay over. But of course we were studying haha! We spent like 3 hours struggling with our stats remedial worksheet, a while studying some other stuff, and the most torturous 3 and a half hours doing SRJC's chem paper 3. We did the paper till 1 plus, close to 2. It's difficult, you know! I almost died in the middle of the paper cos I was soooooo sleepy and the first few questions were really tough. Not to mention that Chia Wen didn't allow me to skip an ionic equilibria question HAHA. But yeah, yesterday was really productive for me, cos I usually slack my afternoons away and only start rushing at night lol, hopefully it was for her too. And... I need to learn how to use the GC LOL!


We went to school for barely an hour today! Such a waste of time. Ha no, I'm gonna make the most of the remedials and do well for the mock papers! At least for math, haha.


Lord, please let me give all that I have, more importantly, please let me have faith. (:

Feel so sad now... Last day of school today sigh. Yeah there'll be like 2 weeks of remedials but today's like the last official day of proper school hee. I cried during the assembly but thankfully no one noticed. Cos the movie clip, Facing the Giants, that Ms Wong showed us was simply so inspiring and touching! And the song she sang is one of my favourites, which made it even more touching ha.


After farewell assembly and the special CT session, we went to finish watching Gattaca. The movie's nice, and Ethan Hawke's rather good-looking haha. I think the movie's really ironic, in the sense that someone who was born perfect ended his life in an incinerator, while another who was born with so many defects actually achieved his dreams. The endless strive for perfection. Haha.


Went to cut my hair today, after a class lunch with S34 at this place in parkway near the food court area. And we saw Edmund Chen! Gosh, it's hard to believe he's 46 haha! Back to my haircut. The hairdressers were really funny. They just can't stop commenting on my different-coloured shoelaces, from the last time till now HAHA. And the guy actually said, "Sit down, girl and wait for us to be done. Meanwhile, you can reflect on why you didn't tie your shoelaces properly." LOL! I couldn't stop laughing when he said that. And he kept insisting that I didn't tie my shoelaces properly cos I overslept! LOL!


Voice of Truth - Casting Crowns

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves


To step out of my comfort zone
To the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out his hand


But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again
Boy, you'll never win
You'll never win


But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says do not be afraid
And the voice of truth says this is for My glory
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth


Oh what i would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a Sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand


But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again
Boy, you'll never win
You'll never win


But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says do not be afraid
And the voice of truth says this is for My glory
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth


But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me


But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says do not be afraid
And the voice of truth says this is for My glory
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth


I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth


I will listen and believe to the voice of truth


And I will listen to You...You are....

Ha, hopefully this will be my last post before I start mugging for the upcoming A's. (I'd better mug). Yeah, we got back our prelim results and all that, not surprisingly, my grades are nowhere near decent. I actually had loads to say about the entire prelim journey but well, after having dragged this for so long I'm a little lazy to update about it. Anyway, I'm just really thankful for this rather traumatising experience, and thank you everyone for all your encouragement! :)


Bummer of the week. A few of the school's dizis went missing, and I've been commanded to replace them with my own. Yeah I guess it's my responsibility and all that but... Am I honestly expected to churn out so many dizis to be mishandled and pasted with funny labels... Er, I guess yes, I don't have a choice. I was initially hopping mad and decided to complain to Killer about it lol. And I just had to complain to my classmates during the break too. Mingyao's totally hilarious, he was like going on and on about what I should do LOL!! I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be complaining about this but yeah. Alright, I'm sorry!


Sigh, farewell assembly tomorrow. It's amazing how we were carefree J1s last year, occupied with PW nonsense but still having loads of time to hang around and do what we wanted, and one year later, we're all going crazy thanks to the A levels. It's sad, whenever I think about it. I'll definitely miss S34. And of course, the 2 years I spent in VJ! Oh well, everything must come to an end right? Ha.


Mug, mug, mug... The only thing that's not so boring now is my post-A-level-to-do list! Valerie and mine, rather. And it's really retarded.


1. Go on a taxi ride around Singapore (Val's, she's so gonna pay for me HAHA)
2. Go on a duck tour (Val's)
3. Extract my wisdom tooth (Killer, you're NOT coming along lol)
4. Buy the new Ipod Nano!!!!!!!
5. Replace my dying phone
6. NEW SONGS
7. Sleep 20 hours a day
And more!


For now, I should stop dreaming.

Whee! Been slacking totally the past few days, though according to my dad, I should be studying and not resting at all hehe. Went shopping with Valerie yesterday afternoon, cos both of us needed to get birthday presents. Guess what, we walked the entire marina square, millenia walk, suntec city and raffles place and we left empty-handed. Other than a few cards, that is. There was simply nothing to buy, or maybe it was just us HAHA. We decided to go to bugis and we actually cabbed there. It was a mere few hundred metres or so and we cabbed! Such a waste of money hahaha. We still didn't get anything from there. Sigh, the stuff nowadays... Lol.


Went to meet Audrey and Mingyao after that before heading to Huijin's house at serangoon for the class BBQ. The journey was amusing, we realised we were taking the wrong line or something, so we hurriedly dashed out and then began a mad dash all over the place searching for the correct line HAHA. And how I hate taking the MRT during peak hours, there's always this risk that I'll be trapped between the doors and no sensor will detect it cos I'm too thin. Evil Audrey was laughing at me cos of that hmph! Yep anyway, we reached there safely to discover that we were late lol. But there were people who were later! Hahaha.


The BBQ was fun! It was my first time barbeceuing food you know!! HAHA yeah, that's kinda pathetic. But well, I learnt hahahaha. And I unintentionally dropped quite a lot of food through the grill into the fire oops! Haha stayed till around 9 plus, then left with Audrey and Mingyao. Lol, Audrey said that I should be a health minister in future, and my speech will go like, "Everyone, we're in the midst of SARS 2. Don't panic, just stay at home, rest a lot, eat a lot, sleep a lot and let the ants trail in your room..............." My goodness, she's super hilarious and she has a fantastic imagination HAHA. Yeah, the bus journey home was nice! My mum gave Audrey a lift home after we stopped outside VJ hoho.


Ah I was supposed to go to parkway today to buy my presents, but I wonderfully slept till 4 plus. Hehe. I shall go tomorrow then. And this might be my last day using the computer cos once I get back my results tomorrow... Yeah, you guessed it.


We will have troubles in this world, but He has overcome the world. So, trust God! :)

Prelims are OVER!!!!!!!!!! OVER OVER OVER!!!!!! Yeah there's still the A levels, but I desperately need a break now or I'll just go crazy. All I can say is that the past 2 weeks have been nightmarish but at the same time, thank God for this really taxing period, it made me learn. Yeah, till now, I STILL need a wake-up call. But I must believe that it will be the loudest, the most effective, the FINAL wake-up call. Cos with man, all this might seem impossible but with God, all things are possible!

Zilu a.k.a GENIUS flew off to the UK on monday. Went with Mingcong to send her off and there were quite a number of people there. Ancient CO seniors, apparently. Yeah, popular person HAHA. Was quite sad when I saw her walk in, but I didn't cry! Not like she'd be gone forever haha. Just talked to her online, glad she's adapting well! Yay, all the best there, Genius, and remember to tell me about cute guys!

Went to help Jieying with her A level art piece after bio paper 1 today. Quite a number of our class people went to help her, and I think it was really fun! We were supposed to glue paper maches haha. It was nice, having so many people there and talking loads of nonsense and laughing so much hahaha. Calvin and Taariq were super amusing, imitating all the weird noises of the songs they played lol. Anyway, most of them left by lunch time, while Shimin and I stayed to help. And Jieying treated us to Mos Burger! How nice. :) We were talking about the most retarded stuff over our lunch. About C-D-E-F and elements and whatever funny scientific terms that could have been probable names for our favourite person's kids HAHAHA. "Carbon Lim" LOL!!!!! After that, we went back to school to continue glueing the many small cracks. We finished around 6.30pm and after those many hours of bending, crawling around, kneeling on the hard floor, squinting for holes to paste pieces of paper over, I came up with a conclusion.

That I am too tall for all this.

LOL!!!! Anyway, take a look at Jieying's art piece!

Apologies, I realise it wasn't a fantastic shot. But it's about childhood and I think it's really cool, I'm sure Jieying will do well! GO GO GO Jieying! :D :D And yes, even though I'm too tall for all that bending, today was really fun! :D

I was really tired when I got home, cos I slept for only 3 hours last night. Was listening to my newly downloaded songs HAHA. When Valerie called me she thought I was dying or something hahaha. But I'm feeling very happy now, a temporal sense of liberation, hurray! And OMG, I'M GOING FOR CHEM TUITION TMR!!!!!!! Call me amazing. :)

Number one on my to-do list after prelims. Buy rope to tie myself to my study table!

The prelims must have been the toughest examination in my entire life. I finally feel the scare of impending doom. Haha, Valerie says it's a good thing cos I'm finally feeling stressed, shows that I'm human. I'm just glad that all this will end in abbout 8 hours plus time! Yeah, there's more to come but I just need a break.


Been struggling alot lately, like I know I gotta have faith but it's really hard to think that I can actually pull through this. I don't even want to think of how I did. And I will probably pon the first few tutorials for fear of teachers coming to talk to me. Oh well, I'll see how.


Right now, time for a short celebration! Things will be fine, yeah.


Have faith.................

Times like this, I feel like giving up. Chem, gone. Math, gone. More to go....






But I must have faith.

Whoa... prelims are a mere few 24 hours away and I'm still happily playing away my afternoons! Roar.


Short update on seoul garden last friday with Joanne, Lam Lee, Cristal and Yuqian. It was really fun, they were complaining that the soup had no taste and Cristal and I insisted that we had to throw some chicken inside but they refused to let us do it. So when three of them happened to leave the table, we threw a few pieces inside, with Cristal even throwing in a few strings of fats LOL. They said it was nicer when they tasted it, but refused to admit that it's cos of the chicken. Ha, they know it is HAHA. After that, we went to buy early birthday presents for Yuqian and Lam Lee since Joanne's flying off next monday. :(


I really have to stay up tonight to study, or my prelims will be GONE. I need a sense of urgency! But most importantly, I need to have faith. :)


Happy birthday daddy! :D

Roar! My dad took away my keyboard and mouse yesterday, cos he said I haven't been studying. That's just cos Joanne and Yuqian came over on tuesday and we were playing audition, and he kept scolding me heh. But I've been studying for the other days! Haha oh well. Don't ask me how I'm typing this blog entry, it's my "secret weapon" HAHA.


Went to school this morning with Chia Wen for math consultation. Haha we were shocked by how packed the area outside the staff room was. Amelia and Huijin were there too! They were having econs consultation hahaha. Honestly, the whole world's having consultation. Yup we studied in school after our consultation till lunch time. I'm a little clearer about stats now, but it's only a little, doesn't really make my hopelessness look better hehe. I'll practise more.


Headed to parkway for lunch and to get some teachers' day cards. Seeing it's my last year in VJ and some of the teachers have been really nice, thought I should show my appreciation, ain't I nice! Hahahaha. Anyway, I bumped into my mum at parkway. So cool, I didn't have to pay for my lunch lolol. :D Oh, we met Jingli there! That's my sec 4 math/chem tutor whose studying in the US now. She's flying back soon hmm.


I think I haven't mentioned this. Ricky Rubio from the Spain basketball team is really cute! And Jieying agrees hahaha. He's so young, he's only our age. Ah and Pau Gasol's super cool, his shooting's like always spot-on. Too bad Spain lost, but at least they have a silver medal. Haha alright, the olympic fever is over, time to STUDY MANY HOURS A DAY. Oh, the olympic fever burnt my TV, it's totally not working now. Oh well, at least there aren't any shows now. Come september, I'm gonna hog the TV downstairs muahaha.


Before I end off, special thanks to Mei Ching and Audrey! Mei Ching for the snack and very encouraging note, and Audrey for the msg a few days ago! That's really one of my favourite verses. =) Of course, thank God for such wonderful people in my life! :) :)


Seoul garden tomorrow, to celebrate Joanne's birthday! Albeit belated haha.


Ruth is a mugger, Ruth is a mugger, Ruth is a mugger, Ruth is a mugger................. :D

Applaud me, I had this sudden inspiration to pack my table yesterday! It was such a dusty affair, clearing mountains and mountains of papers. But anyway, I'm sure it's squeaky clean now! Lol. And I feel rather hardworking today. I got up at 11am (supposed to be 10 but it's still an achievement, cos I'm never awake on saturday mornings) to study bio. Even my mum was surprised that I woke up so early hahaha. Yeah and I just studied econs! =D


I think I'm starting to catch the olympic fever lol. I'm not an olympics fan, but I've been watching these few days. And three cheers for our table tennis, they're into the finals! =D =D Oh, and Michael Phelps is really cool, breaking so many world records this year. Which makes me wonder, why are there so many records being broken this year haha. Jieying and I ponned bio yesterday to watch the swimming events. When it was Phelps' event, the whole canteen was so packed and there was so much screaming for him, it was rather amusing haha!


33Miles - Hold On
I've been there a thousand times
Felt the rain like a thousand knives and it hurts
I know it hurts
I've been there like a fighter plane
Trying to fly my way through a hurricane and it's hard
I know its hard
Don't be afraid
You'll make it through
Just call out out to me and I'll come running to you


Hold on
Hold on
When the current pulls you under
And your heart beats like thunder
Just give me your hand
And hold on
Hold on
Until the storm is over
And I'll be fighting for you
Just give me your hand
And hold on


I'll give you hope
I'll give you faith
And if it's dark I'll light the way for you
For you
By your side until the end
Until you're standing tall again
I'm hereI'll always be here
And if the tide sweeps you out to sea
When your strength is gone
And it's hard to believe


Nice song! I think it's really touching. Hee I'm feeling a little sleepy. Gonna do math later. STATS zzz. Okay, I'll really not update so often anymore. Miss me, people!

Whee! I'm starting to love floorball! Haha, a few of us played during PE today. It's really tiring, running here, there, everywhere chasing after a small little ball. But it's super fun! And and, I scored 2 goals! Hahahahaha. One was beautiful but tyco, the other one was just retarded cos there wasn't anyone standing in front of the goal LOL. My legs are so tired now. And I don't know what I did while playing just now, but I moved my leg and my thigh suddenly hurt like anything. Thankfully it was better after a while. Haha!


Guess I won't be blogging much, gotta STUDY. Roar, I just spent an unproductive afternoon searching for my chem prelim papers, which still can't be found. I'll do some other practices later.


Oh, an update on my wisdom tooth. I went to see Dr Lim yesterday (who sacrificed her lunch break to see me, I'm really thankful!) and she said my wisdom tooth's growing in the right direction. But there's some eruption causing an infection of my gums, so gotta take antibiotics to heal them before I decide if I want an extraction. I wonder if I should extract it, should it cause me pain during my exams, it's gonna be really troublesome. Not to mention distracting. Oh well, I'll see how.


Meanwhile....................... I need to study!