Overrated.

The test was the test, the exam's the real deal.

And I don't feel as confident as I'd like to be.

Really.

Then again...

Let it not be what I want, but what You know is best for me.

I need to be emptied of my pride, I need to depend, I need to be clear of my purpose.

Help me not to be confident in myself, but in You.

For You.

Lord, when You are glorified
My heart is satisfied to know
All praise and honour are Yours

I wanna be able to say it, and mean it.

Please take over.

Amidst the exam stress, here's something that got me laughing for half an hour loooool.

So Mavis was asking me about Phonetics over the phone.

Mavis: You know, n's brother right...
Me: What?!?!?! Anne's brother????? (I heard it as "Anne's brother" which is perfectly justified cos that makes more sense and I was wondering which Anne and who's her brother.)
Mavis: You know, that syllable that looks like the /n/ but it has a hook.

She was referring to this -> /ŋ/, which she calls /n/'s brother.

LOL!!!!! I totally couldn't stop laughing and I keep laughing whenever I think of it. Today's been fun in a sense I guess. Going for a porridge buffet halfway through studying, laughing at Charlotte for dozing off every 5 seconds when we were studying LOL (donchu find that absolutely amusing and amazing...) and the fact that she bought dresses from the kids' section. Heheheh! :D

Geez. I can't believe I'm so relaxed two days before the start of exams.

Oh, it's now one day.

Which also means 7 days to the end. Let's go let's go, add oil and PRESS ON!!!!!!

Do it for Him.

SOMEONE told me she's amazed by my resilience recently.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Hahahahahahaha!

aɪv faɪnəli kəmpli:tɪd ðə paɪl əv ə\saɪnmənts ɪts taɪm tə stɑ:t \/stʌding bət weəz maɪ sens əv \ɜ:dʒənsi aɪ mɪs træn\skraɪbɪŋ /dəʊntʃʊ

Two things I've learnt, dependence and compromise. Times when I actually felt stressed, when I was pushed out of my comfort zone, when I had to do things I hadn't done before and didn't feel like doing. I had to ask God for help and depend on Him to lead me. Because I couldn't do all of those in my own strength. Once again, the fact was emphasised, that His strength is made perfect in my weakness.

And compromise. Two people with completely different attitudes, characters, mindsets and approaches. Perhaps there were tiny clashes at times. But God does allow all things, big or small, to happen for a reason. How could I expect you to take a chill pill without stepping up on my part? I'm sure both of us learnt much from this. I don't know if ultimately what I did was enough, but I tried my best. I thank God for His grace and strength, and I thank God for you, my friend. :)

I couldn't have asked for a better group. Jason and his lol comments, "I think there're too many leaders for this project; there's only one follower." Shena with her random, out-of-the-world imagination, Weiting, my Thursday lunch-mate who just discovered how to use the print screen function (HAHA) and Sarah, who supported and reminded me of a thousand and one things throughout. It's amazing, how last-minute yet extremely efficient we are. Seriously... Thank God for the group!

Hmm.

Thinking back...

How can I?

'Cos at the end of it, it's still pretty awesome.

Thank God for the Easter musical. It was just amazing. Time was so tight, but thank God for His grace that made up for it all. Once again, I'm thankful and honoured to be a part of it. Perhaps my pictures weren't that beautiful, but I tried. And I really had fun watching the musical tens of times while clicking the slides, I was totally not tired of the acting and singing. Not forgetting how Uncle Ivan and Aunty Alice are always so sweet to us, how the desire of each and every one in the team to serve the Lord blesses my heart, how the sweet unity in the team remains of great encouragement to me, and how the Lord uses people to come together for a little production that reaches the lost. It's simply amazing. I had a blast, thank God for the musical, thank God for every single profession of faith.

More than that, thank God for the reminder of what genuine love is all about. We're so often caught up in the matters of our lives, we just forget how God loves us so much. Sometimes, we need reminders and events to bring us to the realisation once again. The thought struck me just now, and I was overwhelmed.

I am amazed to know that a God so great could love me so...

Our human minds can never contain and comprehend the vast love of God, yet He still loves us so.

Thank God, thank God for Easter, thank God for the musical.

To be honest, I wasn't looking forward to Easter a couple days ago. It felt that there was too much on my plate such that I couldn't lift it, yet I didn't feel like I could get rid of anything on it. Well the doctor didn't give me nerve supplements for nothing. *Cue Sarah's "remember to take your nerve supplements!"* Maybe, just maybe, it was a protest from my body, that it couldn't take my last-minute rushing anymore. So it went on a strike, leaving me overwhelmed by the amount of things I had to do, yet without the strength to accomplish anything. I was terrified at the thought of work.

I'm still extremely tired. But I thank God for His grace and strength. Thank God that the three shows for the Easter Musical went well today. I can't believe it's over. All the hard work, stress, fluster, late nights, irritation... Yeah, I'm kinda sad that it's over. Of course, there're two more shows on Sunday but that'll be a different atmosphere altogether. Thank God for the privilege to play a small part in glorifying a great God. I really enjoyed myself! There seems to be nothing that exciting clicking the slides but I really had fun lol. And what Calvin said is just so cool. "You're in front of everyone and everything else, yet you're behind everyone and everything else." Awesome... Of course, thank God for Yuqian and Lam Lee who came to watch the musical! Thank you, thank you! :)

I came to realise that the rest of the semester has been planned out and I almost fainted in the shower.

The remaining of the Easter Musical
Week of 5 April
Mon: Phonetics test (which I'll have no time to study for)
Tue: ALS first draft due (I haven't even distributed the questionnaires)
Tue: ICT essay to be completed
Fri: ICT presentation, group assignment stuff due
Week of 12 April
Mon: AAE102 group assignment due (no texts yet!)
Thur: Math test
Fri: ALS research paper due
Week of 19 April
Final exams kick off with 3 back-to-back papers (where do I find the time to start studying?)
Last paper ends 27 April (HOLIDAYS!!!!!!)

Hey, at the very least I've completed two. Uh, listing out the stuff and getting the dates right! Hurray.

Perhaps there was a slight disappointment. But I'm so thankful, thank God for the first step. In His time... :)

Blessed Easter!

The past two weeks have been tiring. But when I look back at it all, my heart just overflows with thanksgiving for how God has sustained me with His love, grace and strength. Many times I feel so undeserving of the blessings He has showered upon me. But time and time again I'm reminded of His abundant grace. I can't fully comprehend it, I can't explain it, but I stand thankful and amazed.

Your Grace Still Amazes Me - Phillips, Craig & Dean

My faithful Father, enduring Friend

Your tender mercy’s like a river with no end

It overwhelms me, covers my sin

Each time I come into Your presence

I stand in wonder once again

Your grace still amazes me

Your love is still a mystery

Each day I fall on my knees

'Cause Your grace still amazes me

Your grace still amazes me

Oh, patient Saviour, You make me whole

You are the Author and the Healer of my soul

What can I give You, Lord, what can I say

I know there’s no way to repay You

Only to offer You my praise

Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees

‘Cause Your grace still amazes me
Your grace still amazes me

It’s deeper, it’s wider

It’s stronger, it’s higher

It’s deeper it’s wider

It’s stronger, it’s higher

Than anything my eyes can see

Your grace still amazes me

Your love is still a mystery

Each day I fall on my knees
‘Cause Your grace still amazes me

Your grace still amazes me

"And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

2 Corinthians 12: 9

Thank You, Lord, for Your all-sufficient grace. Teach me to be humble, to acknowledge my weakness, to depend on You every step and every moment, to stand confident not in myself but in You.

Still feel uncomfortable despite a long nap. But I shan't be conquered by the sick monster. It's battle time!!!!!!

Are you EGGcited for Easter? :D :D

It probably came a little late but thank God for an awesome 20th. (Gosh, that's old.)

First up was the sweet little surprise by SCACZ. Sarah standing next to the lift shouting "SURPRISE" when the doors opened (that really gave me a shock), the three "stages" to the cake, and finally the birthday song. Aww that was really sweet. Not forgetting the beautiful card made by Amantha, the super cute cake designed by Sarah, the awesome present, and uh, the cake-smearing. Thank God for you all! :)

Green and orange!

Nice cake eh?

SCARCZ looking all formal, standing up with plates in hand

Our dear Poundcake "sacrificed" her eyes to show her teeth

Cake on my face

Revenge is sweet

Done by Poundcake!

Next was an equally diabetic surprise by the icy people (hahaha). It was a journey on blindfold from Raffles Place to the Esplanade. And I could feel people staring! So when we finally got to the mystery destination with the blindfold removed, I just burst out laughing. Yeah, the "birthday cake" was a really hilarious sight. But of course, that was so sweet! Thank God for you guys making it such a unique experience, haha! :D

My cake was finger-lickin' good!

My "captors". Stayover buddies! :D

DG, who happened to all wear green! Awesomeness. I've said it many times before, but really thank God for this privilege to be in the same DG. Thank God for the both of you! :)

Group shot (minus Ray 'cos he said uncles have to sleep early HAHA)

Some other pictures from dinner with Yuqian, Lam Lee and Cristal. Thank you all, for getting me such interesting presents. I promise to wear them... Sometime hahaha.

Cute

In the toilet again

Thanks Sarah, Amantha and Charlotte again for the wonderful dinner at Jack's Place! I'd been craving the food there for so long and I was really disappointed when I didn't get to go there with my family. So thank you! And thanks Sarah for the treat! That was so sweet of her. (This is really the hundredth time I'm saying this over the past few days but I can't help it, lol.)

Reality hits after the weekend of fun passes. I skipped a lecture this afternoon partially to do Phonetics but really because I was frustrated. I used to skip lessons when I was down, but I guess I shouldn't do it too often now. Alright, I shouldn't do it at all. But I thank God for today, when everything just slipped out of my hands. It's so hard to give it away when you've done it, are comfortable with it, are good at it (or think so). But that's what it's all about isn't it. Surrendering it all to God, acknowledging that I'm not in control but God is. It's definitely not easy. But it doesn't change the fact that God is in absolute control. And it's such a comforting thought. Thank God for the trigger today. I really have to commit my every thought to Him and trust that His plan is perfect. Because it is.

Thanks Sarah and Charlotte. I don't know what came over me today. But thank God and thank you. :)

Hey! Where did the recess week go to????????

Hahaha. Oh well, it isn't that bad going back to school I guess. But I'd rather have my sleeping, slacking and playing time back!

So this week was spent studying. (Not.) Hehe.

I'd wanted to post some pictures from over the week but I feel tremendously lazy now.

It dawned on me yesterday that God has been speaking to me. The rather long period we took to do the last two sessions, all the little things that have been happening the past few weeks that have really gotten to me, yesterday's message, yesterday's dinner... Perhaps God's really dealing with me. It was as though the emotions snowballed into streams of tears last night, I was so... Bitter, frustrated, distracted. Thank God indeed for the reminder, that I've really got to pray. And for the message, that the sole purpose of our existence is to worship God. With our lives, with what we say, with what we do, even at home.

Well...

Oh I don't want my birthday to come!

There must be a reason. I can only let go in Your strength.

I had the most disruptive night of sleep in ages.

Thank God that next week's recess! I could use much extra sleep and some rest after an insane week of work and deadlines. Thank God for His grace over the week. It was amazing how I finished my AED107 essay below 4 hours (I usually take an entire night), and how everything worked out for ALS101. Of course, I'm kinda worried about the statement of topic, my general questions and the extremely low SA score. But well, I'll have to trust Him.

Deadlines aside, this week was just hilarious, the little things and quips that came up. For one, I don't think people really bother with "izzackli" when he flares up. If it'd been another lecturer scolding us, I'd perhaps have been a little more serious but I couldn't help laughing at him the other day whoops. And I actually ran for lecture on Wednesday morning! (Second time.) I was still at the 179 bus-stop at 8.27am when lecture started 8.30am. Yeah, I literally dashed for my life all the way to Block 7. Just to avoid the "honour" of writing my name on the latecomers' list, which has been placed all the way down on the lecturer's platform, cos he apparently doesn't trust us anymore. Heh.

Statement of the week: "I was sitting in class during ALS101, and I didn't know what to do with my life." That was so exaggeratingly funny. Don't we somehow identify with that.

And I realised that the voice on the NEL pronounces "Outram Park" as "Outram Puck" very evidently. It's much more obvious than that on the EWL. Go listen! Lol.

My new favourite song!

When God Ran - Phillips, Craig & Dean

Almighty God, the Great I Am

Immovable Rock, Omnipotent, Powerful, Awesome Lord

Victorious Warrior

Commanding King of Kings, Mighty Conqueror

And the only time, the only time I ever saw him run

Was when He ran to me, He took me in His arms

Held my head to His chest, said, "My son's come home again!"

Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes

With forgiveness in His voice He said, "Son, do you know I still love you?"

He caught me by surprise, when God ran

The day I left home, I knew I'd broken His heart

And I wondered then, if things could ever be the same

Then one night, I remembered His love for me

And down that dusty road, ahead I could see

It was the only time, was the only time I ever saw Him run

And then He ran to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said, "My son's come home again"
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said, "Son, do you know I still love you?"

He caught me by surprise

And He brought me to my knees, when God ran

I saw Him run to me

I was so ashamed, all alone, and so far away

But now I know, that He's been waiting for this day

I saw Him run to me, He took me in His arms

Held my head to his chest, said, "My son's come home again!"

Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes

With forgiveness in His voice I felt His love for me again

He ran to me, He took me in His arms,

Held my head to his chest, said, "My son's come home again!"

Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes

With forgiveness in His voice He said, "Son"

He called me son, He said, "Son, do you know I still love you?"

He ran to me

And then I ran to Him

When God ran

God ran to us, He first forgave us.

Man... What's with the weather, seriously. It's been so dreadful (and painful from late afternoon onwards) the whole day! Rarhhhhh. And I don't wanna spend tonight in the washroom. :( :( :(

But you know what, thank God that it only came after the busy week.

And amazingly, I actually feel better now. Looks like expired stuff can be effective after all...

A more substantial post tomorrow. I wanna sleep.

Thank God that I passed my BTT! It was unexpected, there were at least 8 questions that I was unsure of. My heart was pounding so fast when I clicked on the "end test" button. I honestly didn't wish to fail (it'd be embarrassing), but I was already preparing myself for it. Hee. I was really shocked when I actually passed. Thank God, thank God! That's the first step to my "3am supper" dream. But come to think of it, I'm lazy to go for driving lessons.

The performance yesterday was tiring, but the atmosphere was great. I actually felt an adrenaline rush during the last session. There seemed to be a collective amount of energy unleashed on stage, and I half thought that the stage was gonna collapse. Loved the energy level of the performers.

The Di Zi juniors had an item as well, and as I watched them play, I could not help but be overcome by nostalgia. Wesley came along, commenting that I should just go up and join them cos I looked so tempted to. Lol. Yeah, I miss the days when we performed as an orchestra, when we went through thick and thin, sweat and tears in preparation for our concert day. Somehow performing with a school orchestra is just so different from a professional orchestra, the latter lacking in raw-ness and cohesion as a result of many practices together. And the sad thing is that I'll never be part of a school orchestra again (no don't tell me about university). I miss performing. So much. I miss the hard slogging as an orchestra to achieve that one common goal. I miss feeling the adrenaline rush on stage before a song begins. I miss screwing up (all the time) during rehearsals. I miss the carefreeness on stage, the freedom to let all my emotions flow. I miss the enjoyment of and movement to the music while performing. I miss hearing people say they enjoyed and were touched by the music. Despite shelving my concerto dreams aside, I still wish to be standing on stage again, performing the genre of songs that I love. Which I don't see as very possible. But it doesn't hurt to dream, does it.

I guess in seemingly small things such as these, God is speaking to me. It's just so frustrating and I can feel the bitterness well up uncontrollably. And here's where "you can't control your circumstances, but you can control your response" really applies. Yes, I am fond of saying that, but I'm really struggling. I'm still trying. To not depend on my own strength, but His.

Reality hits. Horror week ahead. She's right, I shouldn't take it all for granted. Just because my last-minute work paid off last semester doesn't mean it's going to again this semester. Hey, it's time to stop thinking the world of myself.

Your grace is sufficient.

I was anticipating today, yet dreading it at the same time cos of the undone work, Finite Math test and the thought of getting back the Number Theory test with a "zero" on it. But somehow, everything turned out well (with the exception of me applying concepts from a later chapter that wasn't tested into the FM test, leading to almost half of the entire paper's marks assuredly gone). Still, God has been so good.

So today was the day SCARCZ revealed our angels and mortals! Yeah, before touching on that, it was really a random idea that I threw out and they were crazy enough to agree to play it HAHA. Of course, we did it the technological way. And if you think that playing Angel & Mortal among 6 people is lame... Think again! I was so dead sure that I knew everyone's angels and mortals and so was Sarah (but I knew she got one pair wrong), but I was still wrong! This just shows that it can be played successfully among 6 people hahahaha. Thank God for the gifts and the time spent together. :)

My dear angel! She gave me really sweet stuff, including a Swensens voucher woohoo! And you know, I was just telling her about coconut husks and she actually went to pick a coconut for me. It was so funny, her account of the very embarrassing situation whereby people were looking at her pick coconuts HAHAHA. And angel, even though "boomz shingz and leopard preens" gave you away, I still love you, thank you for everything!!!! :D :D :D

My gift to Amantha. Perfect eh?

Calvin the mortal, who said he's gonna find his purpose hahahaha!

The "seats" that Zenn made which're a part of the SCARCZ ferris wheel! Beautiful. :)



We were like the two out of, what, 5 or 7 people or something who wore the shirt today. Bugaboos!

Hmm, the past one week or so has been great in a sense but it hasn't been as great spiritually. Somehow, it hasn't sunk in.

The fact that everyone's gone.

Stuck.

January's coming to an end in a bit. Oh yay. But then again...

So there's this tutor who's scary in a really interesting way. Such that when he banged on many a table (yes mine included) to ask what we understood by vacuously true, the weirdest answers came out cos he "scared out minds blank".

"Not true."
"True in a false sense." (That cracked me up totally.)
"True, but not true."
"EMPTY!" (See what I mean?)

The revelation. When something is initially false, whatever happens after that doesn't matter since something that is false will never come true. That equates the entire statement to being true. Take this example, "if Cinderella were to become a ghost, that tree down the road would shed all its leaves." Since Cinderella never existed in the first place, everything that is said to take place after that is taken to be true cos it has no effect whatsoever on our lives. Therefore, this statement is vacuously true. Did I mention that this is Math?

Feasting with awesome company's the deal.

After Palate-ing

This is what we do when we don't wanna go home to face the mountain of tutorials. We sit on the swing-like thing. Which can't really be seen here.

But at the end of it all, there's this voice within, it never fails to remind me. And I'm trying not to fall into the river again.

"Come to Me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

Matthew 11: 28-29

Guess some of us are tired. But let's find our rest and strength in Him alone. I'm trying, too. Go friends, go me.

Before I forget, photos credit to our very own Poundcake! (Okay, I never did credit, but I remembered this time, and your name's in RAD! Hahahahahaha!)

RARH.

It just shows that I'm unable to balance my life. Everything feels so lop-sided now. My heart's so far from one aspect of my life and it's really weighing me down. It's affecting my thoughts, my time, my attitude, and more importantly, my focus. Hmm, I wonder how, and when.

I'm kinda drained from the past two weeks, school, activities, in and out, non-stop. I've been wondering how I managed to survive last semester with the consecutive 8.30am days. And I realised, I was happily skipping lessons last semester so it didn't really tire me out so much. So, yeah, doing the right thing involves effort. And I guess I hardly do the right thing.

So that aside, I think I'll need to start running 5 rounds or something. My stamina's going down the drain, I don't feel that my lungs are that powerful anymore. Heh.

Now it's time for the GESL peer evaluations. Praise people to the skies!

Ah...

Thank God for the past week. It's been tiring yet fun, and all in all, it was really awesome!

Meranti Project

So I was extremely unhappy that I had to go back to school on a Saturday AND Sunday from an 8ish to 6ish timing, otherwise they'd send me a warning letter. I thought that it was gonna be a waste of my time and that it'd be the usual corny stuff like team-building activities. It was anything but. I didn't expect myself to take away so much from the two days, to really contribute to the discussions, to share so openly, to learn so much about my GESL mates. I'd really love to talk about several details but I don't wanna spoil the fun for those who haven't gone through it. All in all, it was insightful, personal, emotional, heart-warming. And I just feel that God has a reason, for our class to be allocated a slot just weeks after the Cambodia trip. He's reminding me time and time again not to take what I have for granted, not to complain my life away. Ah, the conveyor belt thingy's just so awwwww.

Zenn's Blackjack

We gave her a little surprise celebration.

Her favourite cheesecake!

The cards we wrote for her, made and drawn by Amantha. Cute huh!

Bunnehs attracting some attention, according to Sarah.

And yeah =)

Other awesome stuff...

This was the first week, other than week 1 of semester 1, that I went for ALL my lessons! Like WHOA!!!!!! I'm just so amazed at myself.

It was the first time I ever RAN for a lesson. And I made it on time. Yeah I was extrinsically motivated into not writing my name down under the "latecomers list" but still, I tried. Yay.

It was the first time I did my Math tutorials! And I paid attention in class! Megan said she could feel my pride overflowing hahahaha.

And other interesting stuff.

AAE102, with the study of advertisements after advertisements, makes me wonder if I'm doing Language or New Media.

Having learnt Phonetics makes me wonder what kinda English I've been speaking for 20 years.

The Finite Mathematics lecturer pronounces "exactly" as "izzackli" and I still can't stop laughing over it.

Amantha couldn't start her car today. After a while, someone told her that her steering wheel could have been locked, so she turned it with all her might and the car started! And off we went for bubba teh after much navigation to and through the Mathematical Science block. Whee!

And I'm super tired.

BACK TO SCHOOL BACK TO SCHOOL BACK TO SCHOOL!

God has been so good. The past 3 days have been tiring but thank God for friends who've made school life so much more bearable.

So it's a whole new semester all over again. New modules, new lecturers and tutors, new classes, new friends... It's never a nice feeling when you start getting to know a few people better, and the classes get shuffled again. To the point where it gets tiring making new friends. I get tired, and would rather just sit where I am and do nothing. But when I look around at the few people who're in the class and there's no one I know, that's when I don't have a choice. Well, thank God though. The semester has started quite well, minus the fact that the Math lecturers are as scary as the modules. Doesn't sound optimistic, there's no way I can get away with skipping lessons, being late and not doing my tutorials, but then again, maybe it's good. I mean, yes, it's good. Bleah.

And I couldn't resist taking a picture of a segment of my notes. (Hurray, I printed my notes!)

On a highly amazing note... Megan's in the same class as I am for 5 out of 6 tutorial classes! We were both really stunned when we compared timetables. It's kinda freaky, like, FIVE!!!!!! We might as well have been holding on to the same timetables, it's really unbelievable. But really, thank God!!! :)

Thank God for SCARCZ! Trust Amantha to even think of that, haha. Thank God for the great time spent over lunch at Crystal Jade today, during our common 4-hour break! It was awesome, the food, fun (all the nonsense and mad laughter) and fellowship. :)

En route to JP!

:)

Hmm, I have no idea why certain thoughts are lingering in my mind, no idea how I should approach other thoughts, no idea what to think. But right now, I need to be thankful.

Cambodia Part 7 - 'Tis The Season to Be Jolly (25/12)

Merry Christmas! It was a very different Christmas, away from Christmas carols blaring on every shop's radio, beautiful Christmas lights, partying crowds, in general, the typical "Christmas feel" we normally get back here. In fact, it was a rather bland Christmas for me. It could be due to the fact that I fell ill and practically spent the day sleeping, yeah, that was sad. But I've learnt my lesson, to not be smug about my health 'cos that's when "retribution" will strike lol. But well, thank God for a very different Christmas this year. It really doesn't matter, whether it's loud and vibrant or peaceful and quiet, it doesn't change the fact that Jesus is the reason for the season.

During the bonfire which I only joined for a short while

We Are the Reason - Avalon

As little children we would dream of Christmas morn

Of all the gifts and toys we knew we’d find

But we never realized a baby born one blessed night

Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

We were the reason that He gave His life

We were the reason that He suffered and died

To a world that was lost He gave all He could give

To show us the reason to live

As the years went by we learned more about gifts

The giving of ourselves and what that means

On a dark and cloudy day a man hung crying in the rain

All because of love, all because of love

We were the reason that He gave His life
We were the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

I finally found the reason for living

It’s in giving every part of my heart to Him

And all that I do every word that I say

I’ll be giving my all just for Him, for Him

We are the reason that He gave His life

We are the reason that He suffered and died

To a world that was lost He gave all He could give

To show us the reason to live

Cambodia Part 6 - Made to Worship (24/12)

I was really blessed by both sermons that day. But at the same time, they were like an open rebuke to how I've been living my life. God reveals things to us not without a reason, He wants us to be involved. But I often find myself struggling with what I know I should do, and not doing it in the end. God can reach us wherever we are, provided our hearts are in tune with Him to hear Him. But I'm often unwilling to move out of my comfort zone to the place where I'll be able to hear Him. God doesn't need a talent, He just wants someone with a willing heart. But I'm so full of excuses. Sometimes, we need to be brave to listen to God's Word. But I'm often afraid of the slightest thing, afraid to step out, afraid to simply trust Him. God wants us to be set apart, only then can we truly worship Him. But I'm often doing things for my own comfort and convenience, intentionally avoiding the little voice, finding excuses not to do what I'm supposed to. Oh, but there're so many buts.

I give up all the pleasures

From this world of sin

You in my life, that is what I long for

Jesus, You have my heart

Take my heart, revive me

Use me I pray

So that I can shine once again

In this world of sin

Set apart, I want to be
Living for You, my Lord, my Saviour
Teach me to live Your life, Your glory
That others may see Your glory in me
That Your Name be magnified today

Really...

On another note, I enjoyed performance time. It was fun watching creativity come into play, coupled with actions and all. I've never liked doing skits, but I liked the moment when we sang Heart of Worship.

When the music fades

All is stripped away

And I simply come

Longing just to bring

Something that's of worth

That will bless Your heart

I'll bring You more than a song

For a song in itself

Is not what you have required

You search much deeper within

Through the way things appear

You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship

And it's all about You

It's all about you, Jesus

I'm sorry Lord for the things I've made it

When it's all about You

It's all about You, Jesus

Doing an action song

One thing.