So here we are now, less than 21 hours to 2009. It's said that the two years of our JC lives will pass faster than any other, and sure they did. These two years came and went, in a few moments, no more student concessions, no more student meals, no more waking up at 7am every morning and dashing around in school uniforms preparing for school. Us survivors of JC, like it or not, are on our way to greater, tougher challenges ahead. We're gonna face the world outside!


Life in VJ hasn't been easy. The struggles, be it in academics, CO, or emotionally, have many a time made me long to give up. But thank God, for leading me through each and every obstacle. I honestly couldn't have gone through all this on my own, not to mention survive till today. Take the A Levels, undoubtedly one of the toughest periods of my life. Each day was a dread and a drag, and the two weeks leading to the exams were even worse. The worry of the exams being a few days away yet I was simply unable to sit down and really study, the daily fights with my parents, the fear that I'll have to retake it next year. I had this really big quarrel with my mum a few days before my first paper. I was totally crushed, just wanted to give up the whole exam. Yeah it scared my dad so much, he actually said sorry for everything (my dad never ever apologises). But I really thank God for that quarrel. If my mum hadn't said what she said, and I hadn't reacted the way I reacted, she wouldn't have realised how hurt I was by what she'd done, and I wouldn't have realised how much worry and disappointment I'd brought her by doing so badly in school. A couple of weeks back, she said to me, "As long as you love God, I will not worry about anything." I was truly touched by her words. Thank God for blessing me with such a wonderful mum, a mum who loves God and loves me so much, though I've never been half of a wonderful daughter.


Thank God for VJCO, for the teachers who were so kind to accept me through DSA despite my average playing, otherwise I could have only dreamt about entering VJ. Thank God for every setback, every challenging moment, for these enabled me to learn a lot, taught me to never take anything for granted.
EZCO Concert '07 - This experience really humbled me. I've always had this mindset, that I'd screw up as much as I wanted during rehearsals, but the actual concerts would turn out fine. This time, it didn't. My solo was a disaster, and Mr Tay even told me off on stage there and then, in front of the entire orchestra. Thank God for the glitch, taught me not to think so highly of myself.
SYF - I've never been so stressed up over a solo before, cos out of 10 times, I'd burst that note 9 times. It was worrying, I didn't want to be "the one that cost us the Honours", didn't want to disappoint the orchestra and the teachers. But God took away my fear that day, replaced it with a confidence, and I probably played my best on that day. We didn't get the Honours, everyone was dejected and disappointed cos we really gave it our all. But God has a purpose for everything and looking back, I'm so glad we only got a Gold. Had we gotten the GWH, I'm sure we'd simply have felt smug, rejoice, and go home. But the fact that we didn't get it, that was probably the reason that bonded us together. Who'd forget that the whole orchestra actually stayed back in the concert hall to listen to the judges' comments and ask questions? Who'd forget how we cried together after listening to Mdm Wee's talk? There's nothing more beautiful than doing everything as an orchestra, celebrating together, crying together.
Vhapsody '08 - Thank God for the awful fever on that day, otherwise I'd probably have thought, I played so well, I did great, I'm so wonderful, I, I, I... That fever made me realise that I could've gone through much hard work to prepare for the concert, I could've been a consistent player before that, but just by being off-form on the concert day could've cost me the concert. It made me realise that plans and preparations could be flawless, but ultimately it's what God does that matters. Throughout the day I prayed, and kept thinking of this verse, "Through all these we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us." God really answered my prayers, and I couldn't have asked for a better ending to the six years of my CO life. I wasn't the one who was strong and overcame my fever, God was the one who gave me the strength to play. The orchestra wasn't the reason for our success, God was. It's not what we do, but what God does that matters.
Also wanna thank God for these people who've been of such support. The exco, for tolerating my nonsense. Guanyue, for though I'm nowhere near a good SL, you guys are always so cooperative. Zilu (GENIUS), for taking time off your busy schedule to come back and perform cos we really needed Shengs, for all our havoc moments during practices (singing and laughing non-stop), rehearsals, the HK trip, and for teaching me Chem! Mingcong, for making practices less boring and for always asking me to study lol. Zongxing, for being such a responsible VP, yet never ever using your authority on me during sectionals (you're one really humble person), for being of such support, and for always helping me in my many problems cos I'm such a procrastinator. Cephia, for being my longest-known pal in GY! Amanda, for all the notes and SMS-es of encouragement. Hongming, for ponning as many lessons as I did (lol) so I'd have company in the CO room.


Thank God for DHSCO, I never fail to get inspired everytime I go back to listen to their practices and rehearsals. The one thing that sets this orchestra apart from every other orchestra isn't imba skills, but unity. Not every orchestra has the feeling of moving the audience, but DHSCO has. We're not known as a legendary orchestra for nothing! To my juniors, I'm so proud of each and every one of you, all of you have certainly grown over the years. Continue to work hard, DHSCO for double Honours next year! :) Yes, thank you Suyun, Jeenise and Rachel, for being my ever-supportive and cute juniors, who always attend my concerts!


Thank God for 07S34, a class which I always complain about for being too mugger-ish for my liking, but I've no doubt that life wouldn't be that enjoyable if I'd been placed in any other class. Thank God for every one of you, and thank God for very nice friends I met. Huijin, for studying with me (yeah, more like you MAKE me study lol), helping me with my work, being so encouraging, and always collecting my stuff when I go MIA. Jieying, for asking me to study, listening to my random complaints about random stuff, and for just being mad lol. Mei Ching, for all your notes of encouragement. Sharon, for always being there to listen, and for your sudden msgs, reminding me to press on.
Chia Wen - Thank you and thank God for you, for bringing me to church. Thank you for all your wise words of encouragement, for keeping me in prayer. Thank God for an awesome friend like you, and thank you so much for everything. :)
Audrey Han - Lol, I used to think that you were such a slave-driver, msg-ing me on my birthday not to wish me happy birthday, but to remind me to do my GP presentation. HAHA. But really, thank God for you. You've been such a blessing these two years I've known you, constantly msging me, reminding me to study hard, perservere and never give up, giving me notes and cards of encouragement. Thank God for always speaking to me through you, through Bible verses at times when I simply felt terrible. Thank you for having been of tremendous support all this while. I've learnt a lot from you, and I can't thank you enough. Thank God, really, for placing you in my life. :)


Wanna thank God for the following people as well.
Yuqian, Lam Lee, Cristal, Joanne - My great buddies from 4C! Thank God that despite us all being in different schools, we've been meeting up often the past two years. Other than Joanne, who's in the UK, but we still meet up everytime she comes back. And I know we'll continue to meet up in future! I'll never find a bunch of friends like you all, cos I don't think anyone does such retarded and random things like we do. Yes, we know it very well lol. Thank you for all the fun, joy and laughter, and for being such wonderful friends. Stay mad, always!
Xianghong - Thank you for always encouraging me, even though we seldom talk nowadays cos we're in different schools and all that. But thank you for never failing to write me cards and give me presents on special occassions. Yes, you're forever my great friend! :)
Jinghan - I'll never forget our Primary 6 days, where we made so much noise that our places were changed. We were in different secondary schools, but thank God that we're once again in the same school. Thank you for all your words of encouragement, and for never forgetting my birthday after all these years! And I'm just so happy that you've accepted Christ. Thank you, and thank God for you!
Salyonn - Got to know you through H1 Bio, and it hasn't been a long time, but just wanna thank you for being so encouraging all this while. The bible verses you asked me to read the day before A's, they really helped, a lot. Thank you for reminding me not to give up, and thank you for being such a fun person to talk to during boring Bio lessons!
James - Thank you for all those words of encouragement, for your extremely artistic cards. Not to mention your ever-encouraging blog entries. You're truly a role model, in your desire to serve God to your every ability.
Liyin - Thank God for you, for all the msgs and bible verses to encourage me.


And of course, thank God for this one person who's always been there for me in joyful times, in depressing times. Thank you and thank God for you, Valerie! Hey Killer, your name's even in bold! Haha. We've known each other for 3 years. Isn't a long period, but like you said, the 1500 mins you spent calling me is a testament to how deep our friendship is. You're truly a blessing to me, sharing so deeply in my joys and sorrows, I know I'm never going through anything alone. I can always count on you to make me feel better everytime I'm stressed or discouraged. Thank you for always reading passages off your devotion book to me, and for all the bible verses you gave me, that never failed to encourage me. It's amazing, that we've gone through two major exams together, the O's and the A's. I still remember you telling me about faith during the A's, and I really learnt a lot from you. Thank God for you, always there to listen, always there to encourage. Thank you, KILLER, for everything! :) :) :)


Of course, thank God for each and every one of you! All of you, whether I've known a long time, a not so long time, or have just known. Yes, you, from Singapore, USA or the UK. Thank you for being in my life, thank God for you!


These two years have indeed not been smooth-sailing. But thank God for all the trials, trials that humbled me, taught me valuable lessons, and made me stronger. Most importantly, I've learnt that being a Christian isn't about merely going to church on Sundays to warm the seats but rather, it's about Christ. I guess the thing about being a Christian from young is that I haven't really understood what is Christianity about, but I claim to be a Christian cos my parents are, cos my parents say that I have to go to church and read the bible. It's not about knowing, but believing.


Here's a song to end the year!


Who Am I - Casting Crowns


Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart


Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are


I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours


Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love, and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me


I am Yours
I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours


Sorry for this extremely long post, I just had to say all that. It's been such a valuable two years! Hurray, the sun has risen! Yeah, I took forever to type this.


Everything in this life can and will fail you. But when everything fails, it leads you to the unfailing love of Jesus Christ.


:)

The concert was good. An almost full-house audience (when only 300 out of 800 tickets had been sold last Sunday), roaring applause, encore shouts, positive response from friends who came down. But I admit, I was falling asleep on stage. The feeling of performing in a professional orchestra and performing in a school orchestra's just different. To me, that is. I knew that after this concert, most would pack up, take their bags, leave. Unlike after a school concert, everyone has to stay back to clear any rubbish, everyone has to wait for instructions before we're allowed to leave. Also, for the next CCO concert, there'll be many new faces, whether as newcomers or replacements. Whereas a school orchestra performs together for every concert, as one orchestra with the same people. To put it simply, there's no existing bond in the former. And sometimes, the more professional one gets, the more likely he/she will focus excessively on individual technique, neglecting the orchestra, forgetting the beauty when music is simply played from the heart. I've never really thought much about this the past few concerts with CCO, perhaps due to the initial excitement of "Wow, I'm performing alongside my teacher!" and whatnot. But after 6 years of performing with different people, different types of people, different groups of people, I've come to realise where I'll enjoy myself most - Not just on stage, but on stage with one aim, one sound.


My long-winded thoughts aside, I was rather annoyed that we had a three and a half hour break from after our rehearsal ended to the concert time. What were we gonna do for such a long time? They could have told us to come later. I actually half thought of hopping over for Vibe! Haha. I wonder how I spent that time, part of it was spent with Beverly, circling around the backstage 65038192653478 times, invading the Xian Yue area to disturb Youbao and Melody each time before deciding to sit down and chat with them lol. Another interesting thing. I think the female singers probably spent the entire afternoon doing their make-up, cos each time they changed their dresses, they'd change the colours of their eyeshadow. One of them had a different coloured shawl for each item, and the other had shoes with LIGHTS. Debbie and I had to keep reminding ourselves not to laugh on stage LOL!


I'm feeling a little... Lost. A friend told me that I'm giving myself a big headache over a small matter. She doesn't see it as a difficult decision. Well perhaps it isn't, but it is for me. Cos I'm not a mind person, I have an indecisive nature, I don't wish to possibly disappoint anyone. Fact is I simply hate making decisions. I'll choose to run away and throw dillemas out of my mind to stick to the status quo. I don't know why I'm thinking of it now, but, I still don't know what to do. And, maybe I'm indeed just causing trouble for myself.


It's not what I do, but what God does.


Guide me.

"With God on your side, it matters not who is working to keep life's good things from you, for you need nothing more than God's guidance and love to ensure you of the things that you are most worthy of."

Helen Steiner Rice

I had a wonderful two days! First, on my day with DHSCO yesterday. I planned to only go back for the dinner, but Huijing the current GY SL called me the night before asking me if I could conduct the ice-breaker session for the lower sec, cos the upper sec had to go for a rehearsal. So I went back in the afternoon (at the expense of much needed sleep) and taught them... Animal Farm! What's GY without our traditional game man! The Year 1s and 2s are a rather enthusiastic bunch, it was nice to see them so spontaneous during the games and all. It was fun mingling with them! Besides the fact that I felt really old haha. Oh, this Year 1 girl came to talk to me and I didn't realise who she was until she said that she attended the EZCO camp 3 years ago. Dorothea, from Coral Primary! Amazing how she still remembers and recognises me. The name definitely rang a bell, but not the face. :/ But it's not my fault, most primary school kids change after entering secondary school right? Haha. Yeah, I'll never forget the 4 girls from Coral Pri, for being such a noisy bunch and for some "wonderful" name they gave me. Lol.

Captain's ball after the ice-breakers, where Guanyue was OVERALL CHAMPION! We've lost the title for too many years, nice to get it back once again. It was unexpected, cos we lost to Percussion in the first round, but we won them in the finals 4-0. Yeah, three cheers for Guanyue! ;D

The dinner was great. Guanyue was on an ultimate high, cheering non-stop haha. I've concluded that the Year 1s this year had it so much better than when we were Sec 1s. Cos with such nice and thoughtful seniors (yes, me LOL) bringing plates and plates of food for them, they had more food than we did! Haha, the Sec 1s are always the saddest bunch cos by the time it's their turn to take the food, there's only gravy left lol. Anyway, we had a good life yesterday, with Kuei Fu and Linda bringing the whole dispenser of drinks, what looked like half the number of forks and spoons provided and an entire packet of serviettes to our table for our exclusive use. LOL! It was really fun, and it was great talking to the juniors again. :)

Went to watch the musical put up by GLCC today, Ashes for Beauty, with Shimin and Jieying. It was really nice, superb songs, soulful singing, awesome acting. Such apt alliteration. HAHA. Some parts were really touching, especially the ending. I love the piano parts! There was a great message after everything too, but the pastor was speaking a little too fast lol. Was about how people often look for happiness in the wrong places, in earthly possessions rather than in God. We all have this emptiness deep down, we all want to be happy. Thus sparking off an endless pursuit for greater wealth, academic excellence, leadership positions... All this in a bid to fill that void in us, to seek happiness. Quoting the pastor's example, Madonna, listed as the world's most successful female artiste, US$490million to her name, more number 1 singles than any female artiste, is not happy, is still struggling to find her true self.

Two artists were asked to draw a peaceful scene. One of them drew a beautiful countryside, with a sun to illuminate the green grass, picturesque farmhouse, farmer walking behind strong plow horses, making his field ready for spring planting. The other artist drew a rugged cliff, with a crazy storm, dark clouds and fierce streaks of lightning, an isolated tree, a little nest on the tree with two small birds sleeping soundly.

We want peace and happiness to surround us. We turn to achievements and material possessions to give us this peace and happiness we yearn for. But none of it will give us genuine happiness, none of it will give us an inner peace. True happiness is not a result of situations occurring according to our wishes. True happiness is an inner peace amidst situations occurring against our wishes. This inner peace is not found in worldly possessions, but in resting in the assurance of God's love.

Thank you all for the Christmas cards, beautiful messages, greetings and presents! I was shocked by Audrey and Yuqian's cards. Audrey's had an entire page of words typed out in, font size 8? And Yuqian's had in big, bright orange, "DEAR POXFACE". I was super amused when I saw that! But anyway, I've got back my good complexion! NO MORE POXFACE!!!!!! Hahahahaha!

This Christmas, may the Lord's love and grace toward us dominate our minds. For where would we be without Him? Blessed Christmas, everyone! It's indeed one of my favourite occassions! The other being my birthday of course. HAHA.

Went back to DHS this morning to practise for the concerto. It felt strange walking into a classroom for sectionals after not doing so for two years. And walking past the 4C classroom brought back memories of the havoc days, haha. I kinda felt like an alien watching sectionals, after all I hardly know the Sec 3s and I don't think I've seen the Sec 2s before. But Weicheng, Suyun, Rachel and Jeenise came in soon after and I nearly jumped for joy when I saw them. I haven't seen them in ages and I miss them loads!


The practice was not bad. It's gonna be really cool, the solo in front will be played by 10 people, each of us playing a line. We'll of course have to ensure that there'll be no trace of any transition between a player and the next such that the entire part sounds like it's played by one person. With each of us having our own unique tone and every possibility of our intonation going off, it's gonna be a huge challenge. But, we can do it! :)


Went to watch the Senior High's orchestral practice after that. They were practising their SYF pieces. I've learnt to appreciate the set piece for our year after hearing next year's set piece. Lol! It's great to be able to experience a DHSCO practice after so long. Although I wasn't playing, the feeling of sitting with my juniors once again and soaking in the MUSIC was just wonderful.


Thank God.

I just attempted to entertain myself by playing Shout to the Lord on the Xiao and I succeeded. It sounded so awful it's amusing LOL! Alright, I'm not that good at the xiao. It sounds nice on the dizi! :) And I've probably woken the entire Lorong H up, blasting Mu Min Xin Ge at 1 am. But I don't have a choice, there's practice tomorrow, I haven't touched that song in 2 years, and after months of not playing serious songs my tounging's all over the place. Yep, I'll be joining the Dizi concerto for DHSCO's annual concert next year! If I don't pull out halfway, that is lol. And I heard that we'll have the entire 110-strong orchestra as accompaniment. Wow!


Got to see the new DHS today! The new-old DHS haha. Well, what was there's still there and what wasn't, kinda appeared out of nowhere and my first impression was that, wow, it's HUGE. The roundabout area's really beautiful. But whoever designed everything, has no colour sense. There's this extremely weird maroon block, which apparently is the general office. When my mum drove in she was like, "Your school's so funny, it turned brown!" >.< And the blue and white don't go together at all, especially that wall outside the auditorium with a mixture of blue, darker blue and white, looks like someone just played tetris there. It's like a blend of new paint and old paint, looks rather funny. But well, other than the colour, it's cool cos it's big! Hahaha.


The practice today was, of course, boring. The singers came and they were taking so many pictures, I'm sure at least ten of them will show me sleeping. Or trying to. Oh, the practice was at the auditorium which hasn't changed one bit, and brought back a lot of memories. All our monday assemblies where 4C would make a mad dash in every week (a few of us rather), collecting exam scripts and most importantly, our graduation ceremony! And then it's fast forward to two years later. Ha. I never realised the stage was so small, then half of Xianyue and the entire Cello/Bass section were below the stage lol!


Ding Laoshi totally amused me today. He was explaining Kelvin's absence, "He can't book out of camp today. Cos he has to catch Osama!" My goodness lol. And he's always walking around during practices with his suona, I don't understand why he's so busy but yes, he is. Lol! Not to mention that he's always protesting under his breath about funny decisions (they made amendments to the scores again), but loud enough for our whole section to hear and laugh HAHA.


Ticket sales for the CCO concert are bad. We've been asked to advertise intensively, be it through Facebook or whatever. But I'm pretty sure it'll be a full-house eventually. I mean, it's always like that. Anyway, I didn't break my promise, I'm intending for this to be my last CCO concert, not my last concert! Hahahaha.


My dad doesn't allow me to dye my hair! :(


I like the diving game on MSN.

Woooh I received my first Christmas card today, from Xianghong! The little good friend card's so cute! Yeah, my good friend always. :)


Speaking of Christmas cards, it's rather creative to write Christmas messages on serviettes isn't it? So don't be surprised yeah.


My eyes hurt now, have been bridging on Viwawa for so long. And Nicholas made me count 100 reindeers on the screen! Zzz... Oh, I'm gonna level up soon! Hahahaha.


CCO practice tomorrow... I'm sure it's gonna be exciting. I so badly wanna skip it but I think I shouldn't, since it's the last practice. Well, it better be the last practice, I heard that they wanna add some more practices. Which I'll probably cook up some excuse not to attend heheh. Anyway, looking on the bright side, it's at the new DHS, so I can ask my mum to pick me up yay!


Nice song I was listening to when I was trying to get to sleep last night. This morning, rather.


In Better Hands - Natalie Grant


It's hard to stand on shifting sand
It's hard to shine in the shadows of the night
You can't be free if you don't reach for help
You can't love if you don't love yourself


There is hope when my faith runs out
Cause I'm in better hands now


It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down
It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground
So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
I'm in better hands now


I am strong all because of You
I stand in awe of every mountain that You move
Oh I am changed, yesterday is gone
I am safe from this moment on


There's no fear when the night comes 'round
I'm in better hands now


It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down
It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground
So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
I'm in better hands now


It's like the sun is shining when the rain is pouring down
It's like my soul is flying though my feet are on the ground
It's like the world is silent though I know it isn't true
It's like the breath of Jesus is right here in this room


So take this heart of mine there's no doubt
I'm in better hands now
I'm in better hands now


VALERIE MISSES ME! And they're inviting me to lunch with them at NUH one day, cool huh! :D

I feel like my eyeballs are rolling all over the place, after staring at the screen for so long playing games. Anyway, after ten days of rotting in my shell together with the pox, I saw the light! Literally. Hahaha. It was almost weird to feel the sun's rays. Yeah, you know, the sun doesn't really like me, it rises shortly after I hit the sack and sets shortly after I wake up. So, feels good to finally step out of my house and breathe in non-pox-infected air. Hahaha.


I've not fully recovered, but I just had to go to parkway to get some stuff before Christmas. Went there with Yuqian, Lam Lee and Cristal. We were joking that they'll all get chicken pox for a second time. Lol! Ha. My mum thought that I was gonna get stoned by the public, but I didn't get any weird looks! Cos honestly, I just look like a skinny, innocent soul with not-so-good complexion. Not to mention I was on the verge of melting inside my jacket, its sole purpose to cover the random spots on my hands. Yeah, I actually look pretty normal. Not to myself, cos I'm still displeased with the condition of my face, but to the rest of the world. Wahaha.


DHS has moved back to Tanjong Rhu! No more travelling across the green line to get to Buona Vista, yay! I haven't seen the new campus, but soon. It's pretty interesting, the maroon building, rooftop tennis court with a hole in the wall so the ball can just fly all the way down to the basketball court, the mega huge CO room (yeah!), and so on! Yuqian, Lam Lee and Cristal went after our trip to parkway but I didn't go, I was way too hot and tired and uncomfortable and I didn't wanna be gallivanting around. And that reminds me, I still haven't collected my O Level cert. Guess they've already thrown it away?


Not going to watch Twilight with Jieying and Shimin tomorrow. :( But it's okay, we can go to Seoul Garden after I recover... To cook eggs HAHA. Gosh, it sounds impossible and scary, but I think I've lost weight! And it's making me sooooo sad. What with the first few days without any appetite, after that not being able to eat so many things, and me being such a picky eater, heh, I'm not surprised. Ah I wanna do so many things after I recover. I wanna play basketball, I wanna go to ECP and play frisbee, I wanna eat lots of things that I haven't been able to eat! Any interested sponsors for my Operation Gain-Some-Kilos? Come on, be kind to a patient. Otherwise when I disappear from the surface of the earth, all of you will miss me so much. :)


Wohoho, after days of frequent trips to the mirror attempting to kill the pox on my face by glaring at the spots but not succeeding, I think, I'm on the way to recovering my complexion! Hopefully there won't be any scars, otherwise it'll be payback for laughing at others when they complain about pimples (yeah Killer, you know this best hahaha). Oh well, at least there're signs of healing, thank God!


Pray, pray and pray that everything, everyone, will be fine.

I SAW REAL SNOW FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!


Through a webcam HAHA. Yeah Amos was kind enough to let me have a look at what it's like in Canada, snowing and all. The weather must be really beautiful there, with snow and bright sunlight! And Amos looks really different, from when I last saw him in person, five years ago? Time flies, yeah.


I think that the world is so small. Yesterday, Joanne told me that Shirlene lives next door to her in the school hostel or something. And Valerie told me just now that there's this girl from RJC doing the hospital attachment with her and Audrey, and she's from GLCC. I think the name's Patricia? Cos Valerie was talking about my chicken pox. Heh. Oh, I promised Valerie that I'll blog about this. The killer was the only one wearing a suit and high heels, which went tapping here, there and everywhere! HAHAHAHAHA! =D


I asked my mum when'll the pox disappear, to which she replied, "It may take three weeks." *FAINTS* But I'm not gonna believe that. Wahaha. I think my face looks better now, hurray! And I realise, I haven't bought Christmas cards yet. Don't blame me if I start sending out New Year cards instead. Roar, annoying pox.


The reason I'm up so late, I was waiting to take my last pill of the day. Honestly, I'm gonna develop a phobia for medicine after this. One more day to finish my medication! And goodness knows how many more days before the pox disappears sigh. Oh well.


If I could, I'd teleport over to Canada to enjoy the snow! But I can't, so it's dreamland for me. Heheh.

Haha. Wanted to share this a few weeks ago, but I forgot. It's part of an interesting email, the beauty of mathematics.


Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been in situations where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 101%? What equals 100% in life?


Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions.


If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26


H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11=98%


K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5=96%


A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5=100%


L-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4=101%


Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while hard work and knowledge will get you close and attitude will get you there, it's the Love of God that will put you over the top!


Cool huh? There's more in front, but I'm not gonna type strings of numbers in my entry. Hahaha. Take care everyone, God bless! (:

Yay, Siqian just sent me The Potter's Hand! It's such a nice song. And guess what, it's in G Major!!!! I played it on my Dizi a few days ago using that key and yay, it's the correct key! Hahahahaha.


Alright, just a random post to express my happiness. I'm still angry with my chicken pox. And Huijin laughed at me for only getting it now, saying that I'm childish. HEH I know people who haven't got it before! And I'm like super mature can! Hmph, after I recover, I'm gonna do sooooooooo many things. Getting out of my house is on the top of the list. Bah.


On a happier note, I don't have to go for the CCO practice tomorrow! Not like I was planning to go in the first place but the pox gives me a legitimate reason. Ha, Zheng Laoshi will have nothing to say about my sudden disappearance. Hmm, I actually have this very bad feeling that I lost my scores. I was using them as rough papers to do my SAT the other day HAHA. Oh well, I'll find them someday. Wahaha.


I WILL SURVIVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sigh, I threw my temper just now, feeling quite bad about it now. There was one whole big tray of popiah in my house and I was so happy to see it but my mum said that I couldn't eat it cos of some stuff in the vegetables, not sure what's inside either. Yeah, I was suddenly really angry cos there're so many things I can't eat. No chicken, no egg, no bean-related stuff, no beef, no milo, no seafood.......... Chicken pox, I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But not like it's anyone's fault, so yep, really shouldn't have lost my temper hee.


Just watched Survivor, and I just love this season so much, there's no end to the number of surprises! Yay, Sugar and Matty for the win now! :D :D


Day 4 of pox invasion, doesn't look any better, many many pills left, a long way to go..............


Through God's grace, I will survive this! :)

I'm back from the GLCC Uth Consecration Camp. Yeah, I'm supposed to be back only on thursday, but life is always amazing and full of surprises. Amusing or shocking it may sound, I've got chicken pox. It's so unbelievable. I've been having an on-and-off fever since saturday night and a few spots appeared on my hands and neck yesterday morning, but Kong said they'd go away. It wasn't until I was bathing that I realised my whole body had the spots, and Siqian and Amelia said that it's most likely chicken pox, that I began to have the slightest suspicion. Prior to that it totally did not occur to me that it could be chicken pox. Yeah, I haven't got it before, but it's just so... Incredulous. Kong kinda confirmed it was chicken pox after that.


Ian came to tell me that I had to go home, and at that instant I could feel my heart sink all the way down. Yes, of course I wasn't staying there to spread it to all the innocent victims. Throughout the whole of last night I was really down, questioning why, why, why did this have to happen during my first ever church camp. I cried for a rather long time, couldn't accept the fact that this had to happen. The decision to go for the Uth camp was tough in the first place, with it clashing with the KPC camp. When I made up my mind, I did not regret it and though I went into the camp feeling a little apprehensive, a large part of me was really eager to find out what God has in store for me and the answer to where I truly belong. So I was truly disappointed that such a major disruption had to occur. But yeah, as Chia Wen said, the camp isn't everything, God has a purpose for everything. I have to trust Him.


Wanna thank Siqian and Catherine for calling and msging me last night. I was really touched, especially since I was feeling so miserable. Wanna thank everyone who has shown me concern during the camp over my fever too, Jean, and everyone else. All I pray for now is that I did not spread it to anyone, Jean especially, who had quite alot of contact with me. Lord, please watch over her and those who haven't got it before.


Shall talk about my first (half) of a church camp. My group's called JOY hahaha. Our cheers are really cute, and the people are just awesome. Nice and friendly and entertaining. Just look at the youthful energy the three 12-year-olds in my small group have. They remind me of the EZCO kids, but slightly more mature lol. The games were fun, with mud (eww), flour, running everywhere, bananas, soaked toilet paper, R&R with Siqian, taking photographs while everyone was frantically trying to whack some balloons, and much more! Hahaha. Yeah, I really enjoyed myself. But what I looked forward to the most were the messages. I think Pastor Chee Keen's a great pastor, he's really passionate. What hit me the most was his message on the first night, the paralysis of unbelief. I remember asking my mum quite recently, why is it that there are people who faithfully go to church every sunday, never fail to pray and read the Bible daily, yet do not behave like a christian at all? Guess it's about the heart, not about the mind. Not how much one knows that dictates how much one believes, but how much one believes that dictates how much one knows. It's not about hearing God's word, but experiencing it.


Argh, I'm itching all over, and I've got tons of medicine to take. Never before have I seen such a huge collection of tablets! I'm so tired of swallowing the big fat pills sigh. And goodness, I look horrible with all the spots on my cute face! I feel like smashing all the mirrors in my house but I can't resist making frequent trips to look at my disfigured face. Gross. Must NEVER NEVER scratch my face or I'll be disfigured for life! Ah I wanna mummify myself!!! Ha but thank God it's chicken pox, not some terminal skin illness.


I was looking at the camp booklet just now, and suddenly felt really sad again. All the blank pages, unfilled reflections, no chance to sing Make Me Like You, Lord, no proper conclusion... The camp song Believe keeps playing in my head now, makes me miss the camp even more! But yeah, I shall be with everyone mentally haha. Thank God for the good weather today, cos they were out tracting at East Coast Park. :)


Believe


Oh God You're amazing
You see right through out hearts
Jesus, You're so loving
You came to die for us
How could it be
How could You die for me yeah? So...


My mind, my body, my soul
Will gladly bow to You
The Word, the one living Word
I base my life upon
One life I surrender
I live my life for You
I believe you, my only God


Your Word everlasting
Will never pass away
Its light in the darkness
Will light my path always
Help me oh Lord
Help me to live for You now. So...


My mind, my body, my soul
Will gladly bow to You
The Word, the one living Word
I base my life upon
One life I surrender
I live my life for You
I believe you, my only God


Alright, I'm feeling much better now. (It's been 6 hours since I started blogging lol). It's my regret not being able to finish the camp, but it's not up to me to decide. Just wanna thank God for letting me experience half the camp, with wonderful people, messages, games, and food (though I wasted alot, alot of food). It's definitely been a refreshing experience for me, wanna thank every single person in the camp for that. I gotta look beyond the camp, the missed messages, the unfinished camp booklet, at the greater message, God's grander plan for me. I do not know what it is now, but I will in the future.


I apologise to everyone I ignored online last night, wasn't in any mood to talk hee...


One person I'd really like to thank. Yeah, thank you Chia Wen, for inviting me to the camp, for bringing a sleeping bag for me which took up half of your bag space and I only used it for one night (remember to disinfect it hehe), for helping me so much when I was not feeling well, for being such a fantastic group leader! Everytime I see you putting in your heart, soul and every ounce of energy into every game without a single word of complaint about any pain or injury, yeah, it impresses me greatly. Cos I'll never have that kind of perseverance. But please take care of your knee! Haha. Your unwavering desire to serve God, to commit all to Him, to bring more people to accept Christ, it's truly inspiring. Thank you so much for everything, and thank God for you! (:


Thank God for my first half a church camp, thank God for my parents, thank God for everyone's concern, thank God that my appetite has returned, thank God for my two days of Joy! God is good, all the time. :)


And finally, after 8 hours, I'm done.

Roar my fever's back! Really, of all times. But God sustained me through the concert with a fever the other time, so He'll sustain me through tonight too!


Off to look for panadol............ Zzz

Whoa, I'm feeling quite horrible. Had a fever last night, and I slept till about 3 plus this afternoon. I think the fever's gone but I'm still feeling super weak and all, and I can't eat! Argh. The camp's tomorrow... Hopefully I'll feel alright by then!


Speaking of the GLCC camp, I feel excited, yet a little afraid. Cos I've never been to a church camp in my life, yeah, explaining my mixed feelings haha. And I don't wanna go to camp feeling like that tomorrow! But yeah, God will provide!


On a random note, it took me six years to realise that I don't like CO music. But I love the Dizi. How ironic. Haha. Yeah, the reason why I'm always playing random contemporary songs.


My dad wants the area at the foot of my bed packed by tonight. And I have yet to pack for camp. *Moan* Oh yeah, thanks Vivian, for letting me kope so many things from you. A minimart alright HAHA.


Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God. (:


Till thursday!

He Will Come And Save You


Say to those who are fearful hearted, "Do not be afraid;
The Lord your God is strong with His mighty arm
When you call out His name"
He will come and save


He will come and save you, He will come and save you
Say to the weary one, "Your God will surely come"
He will come and save you
He will come and save you, He will come and save you
Lift up your eyes to Him, you will arise again
He will come and save you


Say to those who are broken hearted, "Do not lose your faith;
The Lord your God is strong with His loving arms
When you call out his name"
He will come and save


Thank God! Thank God for Chia Wen, Catherine, Siqian! For praying for me, sharing the gospel, being happy for me... God is really amazing. What can I say, praise God. (:


Went to sit for the SAT today. Reached ACJC at 7.10 when we were supposed to be there by 7.45 and just when I thought that I was super early, I saw Melvin already there. Lol! Yep, someone to talk to while waiting for Chia Wen. Heh. I decided that I'm not gonna put myself through another SAT. Gosh, the number of comprehension passages I read, I'm pretty sure nothing went into my brain. Not to mention that I was happily writing stories about Darwin's Theory of Evolution, Survivor and the Amazing Race. Don't ask me how, I was pro enough to link all that. Ha. Ha.


Was listening to the conversation between my dad and uncle during dinner just now. And I was just "showing off" to Vivian about mastering the ability of "looking uninterested, remaining silent, acting stupid" in front of my relatives. I just know that I have this image of living in my own world. But then again, these adults always talk about the same things. Just a few moments ago, my dad was talking about my PSLE and O Levels. I'm past being irritated, I'm just, well... People improve, people slide. It's not such a great deal, is it?


I've got quite a lot to say, but perhaps it's the lack of sleep, my brain's just zombified now. Anyway, was thinking of quite a lot of stuff last night. The past two years, how they really flew by so quickly, and I really mean REAL QUICK. My toughest two years, without a doubt, but probably the period I learnt the most. Last year, I was fearing that I'd be retained, today, I've graduated (at least, I consider myself graduated). I can't believe I got through the two years, can't believe I'm here now, can't believe I survived the tormenting A level period. But it's a fact, here I stand, a soon-to-be nineteen-year-old about to set foot into a whole new world. The future is uncertain, but God's grace has sustained me, and He will continue to guide me on this journey.


"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will take them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them."

Isaiah 42: 16

Rejoice, there's no CCO practice tomorrow! I'm not going next week either. That makes 3 practices, 10 plus songs? Lol, this must be one of the rare few concerts that besides Dream of the Red Chamber (only one part), I'm clueless about the titles of the rest of the songs. Doesn't really matter anyway. But great, this is the best time to lose my court shoes. Anyone has size 5 to lend me?

The best decision. (:

Happy birthday Xianghong! :) All of a sudden I'm reminiscing the good old Sec 2 days, where we went from knowing nuts about each other, to being really good friends. And it's a little regretful that we haven't really talked to each other in a long long time. But it's alright, thankfully for CCO (the only saving grace I think) haha. We must go out soon alright! Meanwhile, have a very special eighteenth, I
know it'll be an awesome affair! Warmest wishes! :)


As the Genius rightly put it, I can totally live the British time zone in Singapore right now. For the past few days, I've been sleeping at 6 plus am and waking up at 5pm! Incredible, huh? I already said that I'm nocturnal, and I need a night job. But for now, the only night job I can think of is working at the night safari. Now what if the animals escape? Hohoho.


Love Blossoms 2 is really funny, with the veterans' fantastic acting. I've been watching Crime Busters on Mobtv (HAHA) too, and that's another funny show. Yeah, quit laughing at me for supporting Singapore dramas, I just love the no-brainers. But really, give me my reality shows and I'll be more than happy. Too bad they're all ending! Speaking of that, Ken and Tina, please win TAR 13 and save that show!


"The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it."

1 Corinthians 10: 26

All that I have, is given by Him. He can give me everything, He can take it all away. Is there any point in wanting to gain the world? Let me learn to accept.


"I don't want to gain the whole world and lose my soul."

Yay, I've changed my phone! Decided to get the N79. Thanks everyone, for your opinions! But I'm just special. Hahaha. Oh, my N73 was in such a bad condition that the staff didn't allow me to trade it in. Bloated battery, cracks everywhere, missing button... But of course. I'm actually happy that I get to keep my phone. After testing my patience for more than two years, there's a bond you know! Lol.


It's almost 4am, the whole house is asleep, other than my computer and me. Ha. That's why I love the holidays! December, please don't fly by too fast! Look for a night job, anyone? Lol.


Here's a song, for you and me.


Broken Radio - Jesse Malin
I was thinking about another time
Still in my mind
When I used to know a little girl
High on this world


Your baby loves you more than you know
Raised on rivalry and rock'n roll
Moving to the motor City soul
She lets go
On the radio


Well we never had a lot of cash
But we loved those kids
Some say that she missed the boat
But she just burned the bridge


The angels love you more than you know
Raised on robbery and rock'n roll
Moving to the Motor City soul
She takes hold
On the radio


Stomachache Sundays
And books we never read
Well I was hoping one day
We might meet again


She used to talk about astrology
She was born in June
She danced with strangers and celebrities
Empty stars and the full moon
I was thinking about the universe
For what its worth
Or the one about the Phoenix bird
That died and then returned


The angels love you more than you know
Raised on robbery and rock' n roll
Moving to the Motor City soul
Moving to the Motor City soul
Sometimes I see her face
When there's no place to go
On the radio
On the radio
On the radio


Love the melody. The angels love you more than you know. (: