My recent posts sure are gloomy and whiney. If I could type these in Greek I would. Been feeling moody the past week, but I've no idea why. Loads of mixed feelings, partially due to the headache of university applications, which I'll close my eyes to complete soon. Honestly, I don't really care about that, zzz.


My dad's been asking me the same questions every single day as usual. Marvellous, ain't it, to go on and on and on. And on and on. And on. Annoying but pretty much bearable. I'll just ignore him and pretend that I already know a lot about the courses, which I obviously don't. What's really getting on my nerves is that my parents seem to be taking turns to ask me the same questions / insult me / remind me that I didn't do well for my A levels and the whole world did. Heh, when you really want to accept everything but somehow you can't.


"You did badly for your A's, do you know? Do you know? Do you know?" (times infinity)


I do wonder if I was really born into this family. No seriously. Hah. I'm sooo different from everyone else, my parents, uncles, cousins. I expect really little, but then again, I'm less compelled to achieve.


"Why do you wanna throw your life away?"


My family freaks me out sometimes. Or rather, most of the time. In ways that are best not mentioned here.


"X did very well for her exams, Y got a prize for doing well. Why can't you put in effort in your studies?" (Who cares about studying)


Was pondering over this before, whether a parent would prefer their child be easily contented or sink into depression so readily due to sky-high expectations. Of course, the best is to have a balance, to which my neither myself nor some others isn't considered to be.


"This student from JJC got straight A's, you can't even get a single A."


Results aren't everything, so people say. And they really shouldn't be. But sadly, for these circumstances, for these people, they are.


I'm rather immune to my relatives' never-ending talk about academic results. But for my parents to constantly say that, it's above annoying, it's... Discouraging. Extremely. Wasn't even let off during my birthday celebration. On top of the insults in front of everyone (what's new), when I was making a birthday wish... "You should wish for yourself to wake up and not be contented with such terrible grades."


You could say one thing and do another. And then we realise, it's so hard to let God write our life stories. So hard.


Our troubles are really small aren't they. When you compare them to what different people from different places are experiencing. But somehow they always seem so magnified at that instant.


Nah I'm not on the road to depression. I'm just, not so happy. Suppressed, bombarded, alone. I know I'm not alone, but, ah well. Or perhaps I'm on the brink of schizophrenia. Gasp.


Don't ask me about my PM. It's nothing material. You'll either not understand, or think I'm mad. So yeah.


It shouldn't be this way...


Can people not be so busy? Uh, I guess I'm too free.

Cry out.


Hello? Is anyone there?


Silence...