It's the start of a new year all over again. Year after year at this time, I just look back in amazement at each year that has gone by. How time flies. It won't be long before this year passes and I start saying the same thing again. But before we dash into the future, just some reflections on 2009. 3 main things that I've learnt over the past year.

1. Change
There were way too many times at the beginning of the year when I wished that I could be what I was like a couple of years back. I didn't like the change in me. But I came to realise, the person I was had probably been created by the circumstances around me. I hadn't changed. I learnt to accept who I really am instead of trying to be someone I'm not. People changed. My relationships were affected. It was painful at times and I would wish fervently that everything could go back to what it was like in the past. But God taught me to slowly let go, He taught me what it meant to not be crippled by the past. More importantly, He taught me that change is inevitable and through this, taught me that everything will change but He remains the same God yesterday, today and forever. I know that things will never go back to what they were before. But thank God, for He definitely has a reason for everything that happens. I just have to trust Him. Thank God for all that has changed, thank God for having taught me all this. And thank God that He never ever changes.

2. Love
Definitely something I've been struggling with. It's one thing to love a close friend and another to love someone who annoys you. But God wants us to love both. God has been showing me a lot, the different sides of people, so that I can learn to love and accept them as they are. He's reminded me time and time again, I might feel that certain people aren't deserving of my love, but I never was deserving of God's love in the first place but He loves me the same and He sent His Son to die for me. I guess there've been improvements here and there (I hope I'm not being delusional, and of course, I don't claim credit for any), but I don't deny that I still get irritated fairly easily. I really thank God for each and every single person He's placed in my life, and I pray that He'll continue teaching me to love everyone around me, as I can only do so in His strength.

3. Dependence
I would say, the greatest lesson of the year. I tend to depend a lot on friends and so often I found myself at emotional lows because of friends. There had been many moments where I felt extremely lonely, where I felt that no one cared. And I thank God for these moments, as it was only during times like these that I really came before God to pray and talk to Him. "You don't know that Jesus is all you need until Jesus is all you have." We have so many distractions that they become our source of strength and happiness unknowingly. God takes them away so that we can find our sole source once again - Him and Him alone. It took me so many breakdowns to learn this. But God has been so gracious, teaching me so patiently, never ever forsaking me. Thank God that He's always there when I call out to Him, thank God that when everything fails, He'll be here to hold me.

There are just so many things to thank God for. Thank God for my family, a good break before school started this year, a place in NIE, seeing me through school, my results, the Cambodia trip, opportunities to serve in ministries. And of course, thank God for all the friends He's placed in my life. Church friends, close friends, NIE friends (lovelies and more!)... I might not have thanked you individually like what I'd been doing, but from the bottom-est of my heart, I thank God for each and every one of you. Yes, I thank God for you, reading this. :)

It doesn't seem that short, but this is probably the shortest reflection post I've done in 7 years or something. Honestly. Lol.

"As the deer pants for the water brooks, so pants my soul for You, O God."

Psalm 42: 1

Lord, help me to worship You alone.