yesterday was a cool day coz the combined co ppl were dismissed at 12.10pm! speaking of which, i've ponned thurs' lectures for 3 weeks already. i'm like totally clueless about which topic the lecturer's doing now. haha. audrey told me that if i were as "imba" as i was at captain's ball, i would have done very well in my studies. yeah, i wish! haha.


the rehearsal was boring, boring, BORING. everything's so disorganised and messy, ended up the schedule had to be pushed back. hai, my show. haha ms meta was beside me watching the other items, and she commented on dhsco's discipline. yup so i told her quite alot of stories from mr tay to dhsco to the members and quite alot of stuff. ms meta's so nice! hahaha. hmm on the way back to school from SCH, our bus broke down. i had a rather nice nap on the bus while we waited for another bus. and i missed my show again. SIGH.


our group did our PW prototype today! took some nice videos, but i'm too lazy to upload them. but it was really fun, getting the class involved in all the acting and guessing and stuff. hannah was totally hilarious! LOL!


i guess mrs lim likes me too much that she had to SPECIALLY ask me how i thought i'd do for bio. my reply was an S. i wanted to say a U, but i figured that she'd probably never end her questions. yeah she asked me a fair amount of questions, which i tried my best to answer, praying that she'd move on to lessons. heh. she went on to ask when would CO end lol. and that she hasn't seen me in a long time. doing work. lol. zzzzzzzz....... but really, she's a rather nice teacher. in the sense that she doesn't show bias, and she picks on us (me) coz she wants to help us (me) and not coz she wants to embarass anyone. hee.


we got back our math paper yesterday. mr teo called us up one by one! it was kinda scary. not to mention that i had to wait for 23 ppl before i could get my paper. haha. but i was sitting there very calmly. haha huijin said that i'm always so calm, coz no matter what i get, i wouldn't care. "fail, nvm. get A also nvm." LOL. it wasn't entirely coz i din care. i just din have a single trace of confidence in me. how to, when i practically learnt everything the night before, trying to cram as much stuff as possible into my limited memory space. plus the fact that i left out a few chapters and some of my notes are well, rather clean. neither was i totally helpless like i was for chem, where there was every possibility of getting a single digit. for my math, i just had to let it be. like pray that whatever i left out din take up too many marks and whatever i did i din make too many careless mistakes. hee.


mr lim returned our chem papers today. before that, he said sth about the mcq. "by pure guessing, if someone shades all A, he can get 6 out of 25 marks. but this student only got 4/25.........." guess who. haha. but i was prepared for this, from the moment i opened the question booklet. my section B was equally screwed. there was this question on stoichiometry which totally owned the other structured questions though. coz the only topic i REALLY know is stoichiometry. mr lim read out our marks one by one. and of course, he asked to see me. he basically told me the same things. me saying goodbye to vj at the end of the year if i flunk my promos, dropping a subject to H1, thinking that i won do well for bio etc.


no will, no motivation, no self-discipline, can't force myself to study. yeah, that's not an excuse. it's in the attitude. argh, sometimes i do question myself what's my aim for the future. it seems like i'm some wandering soul who entered vj without a reason. more often than not i find myself wondering why did i actually dsa into vj in the first place. just coz it's a school of prestige and that it's near to my house. on the other hand, i've no interest in going to poly either. gosh, it indeed sounds like i'm just gonna sleep my whole life away eh. haha it reminds me of what huijin said, that i always have a face that says, "hi, my name is ruth and i dun care about anything other than CO." haha. well, i hate to admit it but it's true to an extent. BUT............... much as i'd like to CARE FOR CO, i think that the more i do that, the more i'm gonna erupt like a volcano. my stint as an ex-dhsco comm member has taught me to let go. back to the topic on my attitude. i've LOTS to reflect on. i never seem to learn. in sec 3, i got F's for 4/6 subjects. my GPA was 1.6 sth, when the minimum GPA for promotion to sec 4 was 2. i decided to quit dhp, and the school was nice enough to give me another chance to resit the papers i failed. and i wonderfully got 4 F9's for them. they actually let me be promoted. i've been really lucky the whole of last year, and i know it's not gonna happen again. once i flunk my promos, i'm just screwed. the mid-years are gonna serve as WAKE-UP call, with an S and a U so far. it's all up to me if i'm gonna take this seriously and use this 2 and a half months to buck up on my work and my ATTITUDE. mr teo wrote on my math paper, "push yourself and do better for promos.", sth like that. push, push, PUSH! no skipping lessons, LISTEN during lessons (it's amazing, but i can enter a classroom/LT and come out knowing NOTHING. dun ask me how i do that, i can), start doing tutorials, and the very first step. SLEEP LESS. haha like audrey told me, i should really cut down on my sleep. do it progressively. gosh, i can't really bear to sacrifice my precious sleep.. but for the sake of my BRIGHT future.............. PERSEVERE! oh yes, i still want that "focus" award or what the hell it's called! haha!


frankly speaking, i'm not disappointed with my results. seriously, you reap what you sow. as mentioned earlier, it's my ATTITUDE. yep. know the problem and SOLVE it. sleep less, sleep less, sleep less...................................


haha. well, the mid-years are already over, what's done is already done. it's only the mid-years, there's still promos! dun worry anymore, coz worrying won change anything. lol. just be happy and work harder and do your best! hoho :D


let's talk about more cheery stuff. i dragged audrey along to take a bus home with me today. heh, i saved her the agony of walking home under the HOT sun for 30 minutes! she ought to thank me lol. anyway, she lives reeeeeeeeeeeally near me! just one lane away. time to ask for free tuition! LOL!!!


it's dhsco announcement of new committee members tmr. i wanna go! but it's sooooooooo early in the morning and i really wanna sleep. i'll probably give it a miss since i know the results anyway. haha. time flies, really. 2 years ago, we were appointed. 1 year later, we stepped down and i was brimming with the joy of liberation. another year has passed and the next batch's gonna step down too. beforehand, congratulations to the new members, i believe you guys will do a good job! and a piece of advice, TREASURE YOUR SLEEP TONIGHT coz after this, you won't be able to sleep worry-free anymore. LOL. that's what mdm ilyana said to us 2 years ago! all's fresh in my memory. heh. undeniably, i've learnt alot from my 4 years in dhs and dhsco. yep.


oh yes. the trip to SCH yesterday reminded me of our SYF! minus the tension and excitement, of course. and when i went to the toilet, i recalled how i practically dashed in there to cry after SYF was over. hee.


this is one lengthy post. if you've been able to sustain till now, YOU ROCK!!! but less than me of course. LOL!!!! =D