Have been thinking of soooooo many things the past week. Times I'd just lie in bed thinking of most random of things, thoughts from the east to the west. Thank God, really, for the sermon on sunday. It was a timely reminder that there is only one place we can find happiness, in God alone, not in a million other places which seems like what I've been doing. To be single-minded, not to have our focus all over the place. Cos there is only one purpose.


Jesus Calling - 33Miles


What do you see when you look at your world today
Is it so full of clutter that you feel like you’re going insane
You can’t fight back cause you’re just too afraid
And it seems like the clouds in your sky don’t wanna change


You see there’s always another story, another side to every coin
And how you see your circumstance is all about a choice


When you see the rushing wind, feel the pouring rain
Hear the thunder now as the clouds roll in
And you’re blinded by the lightning
Do you also hear that still, small voice
Saying it’s okay, you’re not alone
You may be scared to death, but I won’t let you go
You may think the sky above is falling
But can you hear Jesus calling?


What do you see when you look at your world today
Do you see a glimmer of hope, or has it all turned to gray
Well start by counting your blessings one by one
Oh and I’m sure right there, you’ll start to see the sun


You see there’s always another story, another side to every coin
And how you see your circumstance is all about a choice


When you see the rushing wind, feel the pouring rain
Hear the thunder now as the clouds roll in
And you’re blinded by the lightning
Do you also hear that still, small voice
Saying it’s okay, you’re not alone
You may be scared to death, but I won’t let you go
You may think the sky above is falling
But can you hear Jesus calling?


Because the darker the night, the brighter He can shine


When you see the rushing wind, feel the pouring rain
Hear the thunder now as the clouds roll in
And you’re blinded by the lightning
Do you also hear that still, small voice
Saying it’s okay, you’re not alone
You may be scared to death, but I won’t let you go
You may think the sky above is falling
But can you hear Jesus calling?


Most amusing description of university applications, "I feel like I'm having a rapture."
Most amusing question from Cat, "Is your house open everyday?"


I've learnt, that God will open a door when all doors seem closed. Thank God. It's pretty amazing. I did feel an inexplicable sense of assurance before that. God is working? I'll still be praying. Your will be done.


Lam Lee's coming back later! But if she has to be quarantined, I'm so gonna laugh! :D


Welcome back Diane, can't wait to meet up! :)


And I saw Dr. Audrey Han today! Was walking along an underpass at Orchard trying to figure out how to get to Far East Plaza when someone grabbed me and went, "HEY RUTH!!!!!!" Great to see her again, for a few seconds. Haha.

Feeling really stressed all of a sudden.


Lord, You're in control. Help me not to worry about what tomorrow will bring, to not question where I'll end up, but to seek first Your kingdom, to trust that You will provide.


To surrender every care...

I'm... THIS close to going crazy.


Right, I shouldn't have blown my top that day. Just one "no" and I'm getting pressed about a million other things. I thought all was fine and I could have peace but NO, it's far from peaceful now.


So, my phone's gone, one page in my bible's torn, no one's online (that I can talk to), and I'm all going mad. Honestly, you didn't have to throw my bible. That's ALL you know how to do don't you. You promised to make my life hell but for now, it already is.


I guess, my parents have never ever let me off regarding the A level results, not even after 3 freaking months. And by the look of it, they will never ever let me off. Just step on their toes for one minor, unrelated matter, rest assured, they WILL start their never-ending insults, never-ending forcing, never-ending... Hell. And then you go on and on, you can serve God if you're a doctor or a lawyer. The more you know, the more you're able to serve God. It's pointless for you to read the bible. You have accomplished nothing in life.


I probably already seem mentally unsound. I just don't know what to do. Yeah, I think I'm losing it.


Quit forcing me, quit your endless threats.


Lord, tell me what to do.

Whoa. I totally BLEW just now. Don't recall having flown into such a rage for a very long time. Regretfully, it's due to one very small thing. Decided to get out of my house (I wasn't leaving home, neither did I storm out slamming the door like what they do on TV, I walked out with... Poise). Walked all the way down Telok Kurau, headed to Parkway, went round East Coast Rd, and back home. Seemed like a depressed soul wandering around aimlessly but nah, I just needed some peace. Not that there was much, with those cars zooming around, but it was the inner peace after all that thinking. Just made me really thankful for the one thing I have.


Lord, thank You for being the only constant. I can't expect my parents to care about how I feel, I can't expect my friends to be there. But thank You Lord, for You are the only one who will never fail me, You are the only one who truly understands, You are the only one who's always going to be there for me.


My relatives are unbelievably...........


Moving on.


Joanne's back! We were at the airport to welcome her back yesterday, after which it was chicken rice at Bedok. Loads to catch up on and as usual, our conversation steered to our Sec 4 days. Honestly, the things we did, I could never imagine doing such stuff with anyone else. Extremely retarded, yet we never can stop having a good laugh each time we talk about it. I miss those days!


Today's sermon really spoke to me. The P word, and the... Other P word. Haha.


Was expressing my worries about dying in Cambodia. The response, "No, no, we're going there for our camp, not to fight a war." Lol.


Thank God, I can now swallow my food properly! It was a tiny scare, but it's alright now. At least, I think so.


I'm so dreading Wednesday. Heeeeelp. :(

Was talking to Val at 3am yesterday cos she couldn't sleep. She asked me, "Don't you ever get insomnia?" To which I smugly replied, "No, HAHAHA!" Next thing I know, I'm the one having insomnia today. Couldn't sleep a wink! Killer, it's all your fault hmph!


So here I am having breakfast, drinking diluted milo and watching the sun (what little I can see) rise. Been long since I'm up at this time, I'm enjoying the peace and quiet of the dawn breaking, but I'm probably gonna get cranky later on. Shall leave for church in over an hour, pray that I don't die halfway.


IT'S DAYLIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!

Today was a blast!


Started off with my usual fashion crisis, couldn't figure out how to wear the skirt without looking like a martian, so I just brought it along to change into after service. That was when I realised the skirt could fit two of me. So we were in the toilet pulling, pulling, pulling, in an attempt to tighten it without having it look extremely weird, but... Failed. Then along came Dawn and within seconds, she saved the day! Well I just had to wear it differently from the rest. Unique, alright. :D


The wedding was really cool. Of course, since it's a beach wedding! And it's so exciting being there when your friends tie the knot. Thank God for Malcolm and Jessie and for everything running so smoothly.


Was talking to Eleanor, yeah, perhaps it's really God's will. As much as I've accepted it, I do question why. As much as I've gotten over it, I sometimes feel a tinge of hurt. Oh well, can't describe it. Cos it feels like I don't care. Actually I do, perhaps I'm simply running away for the time being. Like what I always do. But anyhow, that aside, thanks sis. :)


I've got loads of retarded stuff to talk about accumulated over the week but I shall spare the corny details.


Welcome back GENIUS! Even though you're flying off for a while again. Joanne comes back this Sat, and Diane the next. Awesome!


I need to give my time.

No Greater Love

Before I knew Your Name
You knew my every breath
Before I found my way
You knew my every step
Before I knew everything that I need
You gave it all to me


No greater love than this
That You should lay down Your life
For someone such as me
I'd spend a lifetime wondering why
The beauty of Heaven is here in my heart
And I know there can be
No greater love than this


I never understood
How merciful love could be
Until I felt His flame
Light every part of me
And I would give everything that I am
Cause I have been saved
Yes, I have been saved


No greater love than this
That You should lay down Your life
For someone such as me
I'd spend a lifetime wondering why
The beauty of Heaven is here in my heart
And I know there can be
No greater love


The Beauty of Heaven is here in my heart
And I know there can be no greater love
For someone such as me
No greater love than this

It's been 4 years since I've changed my template. After having spent more than 4 hours re-creating one, it now looks like ten thousand other blogs and I think my previous template's cuter! Oh well, this is still original in its own sense. Even though I'm a big cheater when it comes to "creating" skins. Wahaha.


Had an extremely slack week at work. Technically, I'd only worked for two and one-third days. In addition, I spent so many hours Facebook-ing I did wonder if I was at the correct place. But the passing of messages to the workers made up for that I guess. Getting calls at 5am, 7am (made me realise how peaceful it was with my phone switched off), msgs that are weird, sick and plain nasty and all that nonsense. Thank God I didn't send any nasty replies, I'd do that in a second last time. Hmm, I could be really mean then.


I really can't complain about work. It's reasonable, minus the environment (which I've only got two words for), minus the calling, which did bring loads of harassment. But like what some helpful person said (lol), it's better they vent their frustrations on me by insulting me, than to kill someone on the streets. Ha, I've always found myself to be soooooooooo noble, you can't deny that now. =.= Thank God for the whole experience. Ain't much, but I do know my limits.


Thank God for seeing me through the week, it's been mentally exhausting. Thank God for the words of encouragement, thank God for the weekend. :) Really tired of thinking of all that so for now, I'm taking a break. The picture says it all.


Now there's no one to talk to me in the wee hours cos they'll all be in Malaysia boohoo. Lol. Have a great time, everyone! :D


Take this sinking boat
And point it home

I've taken 2 days off from work as had I gone in this state, I'd have wrecked something in the office or flared up at someone, I'm a tad emotionally unstable these few days. No beyond that, I've got pressing matters to settle. Last night was horrible, was really stressed up and about to completely lose it. But thank you for talking to me until 2 a.m. even when you had to get up at 6 plus. I felt so much more at peace after that. :)


"God is more concerned about your character than your comfort. His goal is to conform you into the likeness of His Son. Yes, He loves you the way you are, but He loves you too much to let you stay that way. You have too many people to impact for His Kingdom that you can’t influence until more of Christ is seen in you."


Lord,
Help me to put my trust in You, and You alone
Help me to not be affected by the world, to not see things the way the world does but the way You do and the way You want me to
Help me to take a step of faith, that I'll eventually end up where You will me to
Help me to be still and know that You are God, to take heart that You are in control
Help me to seek first Your kingdom
Help me, through this, to fulfil Your ultimate purpose.


Dear Child,
God does not say to you today, be strong
He knows how long the road has been
How weary you've become
For He who walked this earthly land alone
Each boggy lowland and each rugged hill, understands
And so He simply says, be still
Be still and know that I am God
The hour is late and you must rest a while
Hold up your cup, dear child, for God to fill
As slow rain fills an empty cup
All He says of us is
"Be still and know that I am God"


Thanks. I'll keep praying, I'll keep trusting.


In dark times, the difference for Christians is not the absence of the shadow, but the presence of the light.


Thank You, Lord.