Thank God for Blueprint and Vibe yesterday! That thought which really struck me, if our loved ones and friends were stuck in a building during a fire, would we not dash in to save them? Struggle, struggle, struggle. Keep praying and have faith. Thank God for the effective time of memory work on the bus. I did what I could, cos I get giddy reading on the bus. So thank God yay.


Vibe! Other than a "Bali explosion" (hilarious but extremely retarded and not to mention embarrassing lol), all was well and peaceful. Well I was there for only a short while, didn't do much, so my hand is working great. Or perhaps I'm just getting better at this. Hahaha sure. Indeed a privilege, for who am I?


Just some days ago, someone guessed that I'm 17 and was shocked when I revealed my real age. Yes, I'm feeling smug about that. Lol.


Super tired right now, I can't imagine how people can survive on 6 hours of sleep when here I am feeling sluggish and dead. That long walk in ECP didn't help either (long cos we were walking at snail pace), after it'd rained and with my holy holey shoes. I shall greet my pillow soon.


I wanna hit the pool again!

To sum up my day simply, I was on tenterhooks from morning till afternoon. What with the waiting for DHSCO to go on stage, worrying about getting to SMU in time (I left SCH at 9.55am and got there at 10.05am, thank God for the cab driver), feeling afraid and uneasy waiting for the interview (thank God for Val's reminder - go in faith), going in realising that was only the first part of the interview so the nerves returned as we waited for the second part again, fretting that I'd not catch the morning results in time, and the moment of truth.


Let's start with the interview, which I thought would last for half an hour at most. But my spirits were dampened when the guy said, "I will be facilitating the first hour of your interview." Which required us to look at posters, read an article (which due to my zombified state, sleeping only 3 hours the night before, and concern about the SYF, I drifted off), answer some questions on paper and watch a video. The second hour was the actual interview. So the interviewers showed us some slides (6 of us) and before I even warmed the seat they said, "Alright, Ruth, you may start first." Thankfully the "HUH" I was about to exclaim was caught in my throat. Yeah, so began the interview which was, really interesting.


"How many words are there in the Straits Times newspaper on a typical Monday?" You have 3 minutes to write down your assumption, derive a model, come up with steps and give your answer. After which you'll share.


That, was the bomb. The interview on the whole was as I said, interesting. (Shan't elaborate otherwise it'll fill up a page on the Straits Times.) But I doubt I'm gonna make it, simply cos 1. I totally didn't make sense, and 2. I totally didn't make sense. Yeah, you get it. Really thank God for guiding me through this. Cos I absolutely am not able to do such a thing, be it speaking what I'm thinking, giving wise opinions on an article, general knowledge, etc. Thank God for Val's encouraging words that calmed me a little, for everyone's well wishes (special mention to Diane for msging me from Australia!) and of course, thank God for a fantastic learning experience! And I charged down to SCH after that.


Yay for I made it back in time but my heart aches for my two cab rides today. Oh well, I'm not cabbing for the next 6 months. Can't deny I was nervous while waiting for the results. I watched their performance, thought it was great, would have expected an Honours but situations have taught me never to be complacent and take things for granted. Was about to suffer from a 7th bout of heart attack when finally it came.


"Orchestra No. 40
Dunman High School
Gold with Honours"


My response? "WOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!!" And credit me for not crying, thank you. Well that's just a title that'll fade 2 years later. But what goes beyond is the pride from seeing the juniors mature. Responsibility, skills, stage presence, it's always an awesome at the same time indescribable delight. No one was ever born to fly but we always try, and we never stop learning, we never stop growing. Much more to go but it'll all be worth it in the end.


I could type a 2000-word essay on SYF on the whole but I shan't do that. That'll fill up another page on the Straits Times and work better than sleeping pill. So for now, let's conclude with........... THREE CHEERS FOR DHSCO!!!!!!!


Thank God for one remarkable (to)day!

Wow, there're already 3 schools awarded the Honours today. That was the total number awarded our year on all 3 days. I expected only 2 today. And there's a number of really good schools scheduled on the third day. Oh well, everyone keeps getting better. They should just raise the bar for Honours to 90 marks. Lol.


"You are the music while the music lasts."


Let's go.

Thank God for Street E today! The Blueprint students had to go out for practical and learn from our trainers. I "fished" while Catherine "fed", lol. It was rather discouraging initially as Cat didn't manage to share the full Gospel with the first two people we encountered. But there was some time left, so we decided to walk for a bit, praying that the full Gospel could be shared once and that a soul would be saved. Soon after, we met a Filipino, Cat shared and all, and she accepted Christ! She was really nice, very friendly, even asked to take a picture with us. Thank God for leading us to this lady and for her heart to be touched.


I shan't pretend I don't care cos I do. But accolades come and go. No one's gonna remember a flawless, technical performance. But you will remember that one moment when you were touched by your own music. No regrets, okay?


Wednesday is gonna be one exciting day. It just has to be that my SMU interview's an hour after DHSCO's scheduled to take the stage. I can already picture myself having a panic attack on tuesday night cos I've yet to prepare anything. Which brings me to the point, I need to stop living by "I don't really care".


Thank You, for letting me realise that even the simplest things can bring much joy. Not about me, but what You've done.


Your will be done.

Thank God for the past week! The excitement of rather dangerous dashing across roads, prompting a Caucasian to yell in surprise, "YOU ALL JUST RAN ACROSS THE ROAD LIKE THAT?!?!?!?!" hahaha but well I'm still alive, Good Friday, and Easter! :D :D


It was a truly amazing, amazing day yesterday, the CCWO Easter Outreach. Undeniably the most meaningful event I've used my dizi for. It used to be about the volume of approval shouts, number of times we played the encore, Gold with Honours awards. Now it's about the number of hands raised during the altar call, not because the performances were remarkable, but because God used us to touch people.


I can't believe I wore a qipao (pink at that), lol. Thank God for the courage to don it, really. No one else will ever succeed in getting me to wear one. If any orchestra had requested us to wear it, I'd quit. And the court shoes I borrowed had such high heels I couldn't walk properly. To sum it up, I felt like a robot haha. But yeah, there's a first time for everything! Was praying fervently before I went onstage that I wouldn't trip and fall, and Thank God I didn't! Never mind the awkward staggering HAHAHA. Thank God that everything went smoothly, thank God for the people who came, thank God for Teresa and Martha for helping me with the qipao, make-up, hair etc., thank God for every single person's labour, thank God for this privilege to be a part of this (though I did very little, really thank God that I could do something with my dizi). Of course, thank God for the 29 people who trusted the Lord! :)


Not just another holiday, but a time to commemorate what Jesus did on the Cross for us. Pain that exceeds any form of imagination, love that transcends what we can ever comprehend. It is, the Greatest Love.


Thank You, Lord!

Attended bible study for the first time today. Was great, very in-depth teaching and got me thinking of some stuff which I shan't mention here, it's kinda... Personal.


"The heart of salvation is the Cross of Christ. The reason salvation is so easy to obtain is that it cost God so much. The Cross was the place where God and sinful man merged with a tremendous collision and where the way to life was opened. But all the cost and pain of the collision was absorbed by the heart of God."


Was truly amazed when I read this. This pain, we can only imagine.


Just spent about an hour typing something and in the end, I decided to delete it all. I've got too much time to spare.

That part of me, which went missing some time back, which remains missing. I've been wondering where did it go to, why did it even go. But it struck me, what if, maybe, it just took me sixteen years to discover myself. The past is so distinct, but equally untouchable. Wanting to be what it is. But it could already be what it is. The shell that has cracked open, that missing part could be part of the shell that has cracked, it's never gonna be pieced together again and that leaves the inside as the genuine... Me.


Shells aside, we played table tennis yesterday! It was fun, not to mention funny. Hahaha. Haven't played in ages.


Pretty random, but thought of a hilarious conversation.


"She used to play the violin."
"Why doesn't she play anymore?"
"I don't know, maybe the violin cracked. I used to play the trumpet, but not anymore."
"Why not, cos the trumpet cracked?"
"No, the windows cracked."


Something else that got me laughing till my sides ached. The fact that Audrey irons her testimonials. Just picture her with an iron, ensuring that her fantastic testimonials are pressed right down without a centimetre of crumple, at the same time taking anal measures such that she wouldn't burn a millimetre into her papers. Hahahaha. Gosh, this is utterly amusing.


My voice is therapeutic, proven and certified, many times over. I can already hear someone going *imitate* "urhhhhhhhhh".


Valerie prefers me unemployed. LOOOOOOL~


I need a haircut.