The Little Things

I remember how I was praying before drawing my oral topic. I prayed that He'd let me draw whichever topic that He wanted me to. I reached my hand into the envelope, rustled the pieces of paper, and pulled a slip out. I glanced at the question, and I felt helpless. My topic required me to convince an audience of Sec 4 NT students on the benefits of the "Use Your Hands" campaign. Several friends around me had audiences of parents, teachers and board of directors, and at that time, I really wished that either one could have been my audience instead. Cos I knew that it would be so much easier for me to deliver a serious speech to adults, than an engaging speech to students. (I'm no engaging speaker!) But since I'd already prayed, I felt that I probably drew that topic for a reason...

That did not stop me from feeling traumatised though. I immediately shoved it to the back of my mind, thinking that I'd prepare it when it was way closer to the presentation day, which was this Wednesday. Over the weekend, I asked around for suggestions on how to deliver my speech, to no avail. When it drew nearer to Wednesday, I was extremely worried. That was probably the first time since my PW OP days that I felt so afraid of a presentation. Cos I just couldn't think of an engaging way to deliver my speech, yet at the same time, this presentation is a huge component of my course grade.

I finally wrote my script on Tuesday, one day before the presentation. I wrote it the best I could, ran through it a few times, and decided not to practise anymore, as I'd already felt defeated by the topic. It wasn't till 20 minutes before ALK that I attempted to run through my speech once. And it was a disaster. I skipped an entire paragraph, blanked out and couldn't remember my first point, and then blanked out again and couldn't remember my second point. I began to panic big time. But it was time for class and I had no chance to practise it anymore.

The presentations kicked off with the first person. (I was the ninth.) I started to feel nervous. By the time it got to the fourth/fifth person, my heart was thumping so hard I thought it could just jump out of my mouth. And then, I prayed. I told Him how scared I was, told Him that I couldn't do it, told Him that I really needed Him. Almost immediately, my heart stopped thumping so quickly. His peace just came over me that instant, and I was amazed. I sat through the rest of the presentations before mine, calmer than before, but all the time still praying.

My turn came. I went up and when I faced the class, I felt a sudden motivation to give it my all. The timer clicked, the cameras rolled (yes, we were all videoed by two cameras), and I began my speech. I couldn't have asked for a better audience. They were all so supportive, so responsive, it spurred me on, giving me more and more energy to speak. I thank God for His enabling, that I could remember everything that I wanted to say! Well, I did blank out for an instant at my third point. But somehow, the class was still amused by what I said before that, so on the pretext of "giving them time to react", I recalled the point just in time. Wow, thank God indeed. I find it almost shocking that I managed to engage the class somewhat. But I knew that it really was His strength in my weakness. Thank God for the class. And thank God for the Q&A session as well, for Yasmin giving me a question that I could answer. (Of course, I threw her a question that was simple yet allowed elaboration as well! And BTW, I love her confidence in presentations lol.) You have no idea how liberated I felt when the whole thing was over!

On hindsight, I couldn't have asked for a better topic and audience. For the amount of worry I had before the presentation, I actually had fun while I was doing it! Thank God for that, really. Thank God for His strength and most importantly His presence throughout. Thank God for having seen me through! And it amazes me that even in little things like this, He is still in control! :)