I'm super tired! I'm sleeping so much less than I did during the A's man. Guess I've been going out too much. But yay, tomorrow's SLEEP DAY!!!!! :D :D


Went for my granddad's big birthday bash on friday night at Four Seasons hotel. Just that no-brainer conversation of the adults got me thinking quite a lot. If you were a parent, would you rather your child be ambitious, maybe fringing on over-ambitious resulting in much unnecessary stress on his/her part, or would you rather your child be one happy-go-lucky kid? It's every parent's wish for their children to accomplish great things, but at the end of the day when goals aren't achieved, high expectations aren't met... Is the pain in watching their children sink into depression not as overpowering as the desire to see them excel? Then again, the grass is always greener on the other side isn't it. Parents always wish their children were as smart, as hardworking, as motivated, as capable as so-and-so's. But well, it doesn't matter. Sufferings are tests, trials are there to mould us to be the best we can be, for Him. Cos God knows best. But how easy I put it, I myself am still struggling with that.


Watched the musical, The Promise, yesterday. It was awesome, talked about the birth of Jesus Christ all the way till the crucifixion and resurrection. The crucifixion scene was really touching, reminding me again and again of God's great love for us, sending His one and only son to die for us. Jesus, who did no wrong, who suffered and died for us, the sinners. The resurrection scene was just... Magnificent. The whole "arising" thing and even the song, Arise, was just so... Wow! Triumphant, that's it! Haha. Yep, it's a really good musical. And cos of the crucifixion, this song kept playing in my head.


Above All - Paul Baloche
Above all powers
Above all things
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began


Above all kingdoms
Above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There's no way to measure what You're worth


Crucified
Laid behind the stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all


Desiree brought me on a small tour around NUS after the musical, which was held at the University Cultural Centre. Haha yeah, I can only say that it's BIG. On the way, the button from my phone dropped off! That's not surprising cos it always does. But each time I dropped it, I'd somehow find it back, whether on the busy streets of Ladies' Market in Hong Kong or in the VJC canteen filled with people. This time though, I just couldn't find it anywhere. Sigh. Let's observe a minute of silence for my gone-forever button! .................... Know what? It's a sign that I need to change my phone pronto. And I'm gonna do so tomorrow! :)


Happy birthday mummy! You will never see this, but I love you a lot and super a lot, I know I haven't been anything of a good daughter but... I love you! God bless! :) :)

My dad totally pissed me off just now. Certainly seems like I'm taking turns to quarrel with my mum, then my dad, then my mum... Argh, I hate this. Times like this, I can't wait to go out and work and earn money and stop relying on my dad so that he will stop thinking that I have NO CHOICE, I MUST MUST MUST listen to him. Come on man, that's the biggest ego I've ever seen in all eighteen years of my life. Yes, I'm eighTEEN, not eight! I was just... ANGERED to the brim just now. For the one millionth time, I'm priding myself for an exceptionally high tolerance level.


It's two days to my Annual Most Dreaded Event. Besides Chinese New Year, that is. Just now my dad asked, "So you're not going this friday?" My face lit up and I asked, "I'm allowed to not go?" To which he replied, "Of course you HAVE TO go." So... Why did he ask me then? Lifted my hopes for nothing! Right, I'm being rather mean here but... It's my relatives we're talking about. I'm so bringing my EZ link card along.


Thank God, for the verses I read just now. Reminding me time and time again not to take matters into my own hands, but to really trust God, that He will provide, He will overcome our troubles. I feel so much better. :)


I was rather surprised to receive a card from Audrey by mail just now. It was in response to the very belated birthday card I gave her last week haha. I was totally laughing and crying over the card, there're some really funny and touchings words inside. I mean, it's Audrey hahaha. Anyway, we've come to a conclusion - First impressions are ditz! She thought I was a very academically-inclined person when she first saw me cos I look super smart and serious. Haha! Hey, but it's a fact that I look smart and serious, no? Don't deny that. But yeah, I really must thank God for Audrey. If not for all her words of encouragement, I'd probably not have lived to take my A's this year HAHA. Okay that's a little exaggerated but yes, thank God for Audrey! :)


Give me some advice people, should I get the N79 or N85?
http://www.nokia.com.sg/link?cid=PLAIN_TEXT_1108507
http://www.nokia.com.sg/link?cid=PLAIN_TEXT_1109312


It's time to stop thinking so highly of myself.

Funny how I was so eager to blog during the A's and now I'm too lazy. Haha. Well, been thinking of quite a lot of stuff the past few days. Have been feeling rather crappy too. Perhaps the result of the fight I had with my mum (again) two days ago. I've been feeling really annoyed with my parents right from the start of A's, but I don't know why am I quarrelling with my mum so much these few days. Even about stupid things like my next dental appointment. Okay that's rather unimportant. That quarrel on saturday was a rather huge one, ended off with some unpleasant words being said. I was basically really upset for the whole night and I couldn't stop crying when I was praying. But thank God, for letting me apologise to my mum. I told her I love her, something I haven't said in... I can't even remember. Hee, I was just telling Valerie the other day that my family isn't like a family, it's like merely 3 people living under one roof. I'm just not an expressive person, even more so before my parents. But I love my mum a lot, really. I never ever show it though, and that's, sad.


I'm sleeping so much less than during the A level period, I'm incurring a major sleep debt. Going out too often I guess, so I'll try to stay at home tomorrow and SLEEP. Went to sing today, CCO practice yesterday (BORING), Vibe on saturday (it was awesome)................... Yeah, I'm just lazy to update about what I've been doing, so that's a summarised account.


I love this song, been hearing it a lot during the torturous A's period (I must take time out to blog about my toughest period ever, one day) and heard it in church the other day.


Shout to the Lord - Darlene Zschech


My Jesus, my Savior
Lord there is none like You
All of my days, I want to praise
The wonders of Your mighty love


My Comfort, my Shelter
Tower of refuge and strength
Let ev'ry breath, all that I am
Never cease to worship You


Shout to the Lord, all the earth, let us sing
Power and Majesty, praise to the King
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name


I sing for joy at the work of Your hands
Forever I'll love You, forever I'll stand
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You


Came across this verse yesterday. Romans 5: 8, "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."


There's a freaking cockroach in my room! ARGH!!!!!!!!

It's "Friday weekly" no more! Yeah, I'm here to celebrate the END OF A LEVELS!!!!!!!!!!!! No wait, there's actually Bio paper 1 left, on thursday. But well, let's leave that aside first, will I enjoy my holiday. =D


Chia Wen invited me to her church yesterday! Gospel Light Christian Church, I think that's what it's called. It was really nice, everyone was so friendly and warm and the message was really good. Talked about doing the right thing at the right time. I, for one, am always doing the wrong thing at the wrong time. Slacking when others are slacking, slacking when others are studying, slacking when I really have to study, slacking, slacking... And slacking. Yeah, and guess I really paid for it, with every possibility of re-taking my A's. But well, as Valerie said, reject all negative thoughts and trust God!


Then there's this endless pursuit for happiness, for wealth, for good results, and whatnot. Made me ponder over the importance of academics. Recalling James' inspiring post... We may fail in our exams, but we must never fail in our character. But which is truly more important to our parents? My mum always says, "You better work hard, or else everyone will look down on you and trample all over you." I guess, since we're living in this country called Singapore. If you get 4 A's, it's nothing. If you get less than 4 A's, it's... I don't know. Let's not even talk about the society, but just within the family. Ha yes, it's back to that depressing topic again. Face it, it's a material world.


Nah I'm not gonna get all emo again. Just sharing some of my thoughts. Ultimately, how much we're worth is not based on what others think of us. For God sent his one and only son to die for us, His beloved children. God loves us! Yeah Killer! Hahahaha.


All the best to everyone taking the bio paper 3 on monday! And to Killer, who very unfortunately has H3 chem the next day aww. GO GO GO! Praying for you! :)


Full marks for bio MCQ okay?

I realise that my blog's turning into some "Friday noticeboard", according to Vivian haha. And I realise too how right Vivian is, that the Singapore education system has totally killed my blog. Just look at how depressing my past entries were! Such a contrast to my usual nonsensical ones haha. Oh well, they shall be no more. :)


The most dreadful week, in my opinion, of the A's is over! I'm relaxing a little now, so here I am to give my million cents' worth. I don't really wanna comment on it, since what's done is already done, there's nothing we can do about it. But I really wanna thank God for sustaining me through this period, giving me the strength to carry on every day. Of course, thank you Valerie for being of such tremendous support! Honestly, I don't know how I'd have gone through this without you. That night when you said those words to me, "No matter what, don't give up. Trust God!", I was all of a sudden deeply touched. Yeah it might have just been a few words, but for some reason I was momentarily empowered haha! But seriously, you have no idea how much you've supported me this while, reminding me time and time again to have faith. I think I've learnt so much from you just this week. So thank you Killer! Maybe by the time you read this we'll be preparing for our duck tour HAHAHA.


Yep, those few days when I was on the verge of giving up, I really thought that I wouldn't be able to pull through. But I'm really thankful for all the encouragement from everyone, giving me the motivation to press on! And really thank God for this period, cos I've really learnt that we have to trust God, that He will provide and we must never take matters into our own hands. All I wanna do now is to commit all to Him.


Read these few verses from Psalms 127 this morning, and I felt a sudden sense of peace after that. Audrey told me something about this before, so did Valerie a few days ago.


Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.
In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat -
for He grants sleep to those He loves.


It's no longer about the A's. It's about fulfilling God's will, accepting His plans for us, because He knows best. :)


Join me for a holiday during my six-day break before Bio MCQ on the 20th? LOL!