It's been a draining month. One important lesson I've learnt, it is always a privilege to serve, but the moment the focus is off, the joy is lost. As the song goes, not just to serve, but to love Thee with all of my heart.

I let pride get in the way. I allowed negative thoughts to seep into my mind and drive me mad. I put my own convenience and comfort above others'. I fell down the spiral of discouragement. Before I knew it, I was no longer happy serving. I was tired, I was down, I was angry. I wanted to raise the white flag and say "I quit", but there was just so much to be done, I had to go on. And I wanna thank God for His strength that helped me continue.

It was a drag while I was there. I didn't enjoy myself and I couldn't wait for it to be over. When it finally concluded, I thought to myself, "Finally. I wasn't blessed by it at all." But God really rebuked me. Looking at the video, even though I did not directly get anything, the people around me and those whom the whole thing had been planned for, certainly did. God opened my eyes to how selfish I was, wanting the immediate benefits of anything I did. Well, I'm glad I didn't get any. I'm glad I stayed forgotten and hidden. Only then could I have witnessed the big picture, and how God's hand was in it throughout.

Thank God for the Christmas musical that just passed. This was something different from what I've done. There was greater involvement, deeper relationships, and more setbacks it seemed. I remember how everything was a mess initially. I'm not one to voice my opinions, but this time, I felt a tug and a pull and I knew I had to say something. Thank God, that the team began to seek Him in prayer each time before we began our practices. I was deeply encouraged. More difficulties arose along the way that totally stressed me out but I later felt was God's way of telling me to do something different this time. Blessed are the flexible...

The battle was so real. The rehearsal was a complete screw-up. Everything went wrong, people were frustrated, we had no idea how we could put up a decent performance just two days later. But by God's grace, we did. On Christmas morning, bad news came in for one of our cast. It affected all of us hugely. We could only pray. As I saw her seemingly unaffected on stage each session, it struck me that this strength and peace within her could only have come from Him. I was so blessed. Not only did He show Himself so strong, He proved once again that He is a prayer-answering God. That was an amazing, amazing testimony. It's incredible how the whole musical was put together. It seemed impossible at the start. But we're reminded once again that He can do the impossible, if we'd only come to Him in faith and trust. Thank God for His presence with us, thank God for using weak vessels like us to put together the entire musical. I'm amazed, I'm blessed, I'm honoured to have been a part of this.

To God be the glory!