So I was a grouchy "night owl" in the wee hours last night. After spending many frustrating hours on this.

Silly-looking program that made me waste so much time and brain juices just thinking of how to write and modify it. Not to mention, my brain was so full of MATLAB, I forgot for an instant how to count decimal places! Seriously...

All that trouble, just to get a simple-looking table like this. But that was just part of the working for something bigger...

Yes, I'm immensely proud of myself for getting the entire table done up. But all of that did not even constitute one question. There was much more to go. Well, thank God, after five hours, five pages, a thousand error messages (thanks to Daniel for spotting my errors cos I just couldn't figure out why my program couldn't run) and endless annoyance, I finally completed the dreadful assignment at some unearthly hour. Only to have the next assignment given out today.

I've been grumbling non-stop about MATLAB for the past few days. So I was hoping that some saint, who shared in my pain, could help me with it. Unfortunately... But don't you think that "scholar" and "fail" don't quite go together? It's either impossible, or plain demoralising.

I'm struggling, big time.

That aside, I've been wondering. I often have people saying, "You're a teacher, you're supposed to..." The fact that I'm going to be a teacher a few years down the road... Does that mean I have to miss out on the realness of student life even when I'm still in university? Do I not have the right to be a student while I am a student? Maybe, that's just the way it is...

But you know that I do my own thing. I will still do.

Well, I'm surprised that I'm saying this, but I am. I have my hands full now.

My blog title says it best.