Time, it makes what has happened on hindsight so amazing.
Who would have thought that one of the kids I mentored 5 years ago would be the Chairperson of DHSCO today. Wow. Wow... And I'm still waiting, for the day when the successor to MY throne comes from my section. It's been 5 years now.
Pardon me, but I've been thinking a lot on the past lately. All thanks to the show No Limits, which has to fuse swimming and music together to evoke those memories. Or may I say regrets. All the while, I wanted the medals but I didn't want to train. I ended up with just one. I wanted the distinctions but I didn't want to practise. I ended up not completing my Grade 8 at all, for both. I wanted the results but I didn't want to study. I ended up where I am today. Well maybe I could feel proud of what I've accomplished with the Dizi. But not like I'm getting opportunities in the present anyway. What's there to speak of now? Well, thank God. It's a reminder that the glorious days of me have been replaced by the glorious days of Christ. It's really not about me anymore, never should have been. Rather, it's about what God can do through this weak, helpless being with nothing to my name. It's a long, long road ahead and at the end of it, all those things that I've mentioned, they don't matter.
Alright, it's time to get back to the present.
God has been good. What was an almost traumatic experience resulted in great insights gained on several aspects I've never really been clear of. Thank God for you guys patiently answering my questions. I'm humbled by the fact that there're so many things I don't know. I've got to really delve deep... Thank God for Street-E. I've been trying to progress bit by bit, and I got to share the whole Gospel for the first time on Wednesday. Amidst stuttering and stammering and lots of dead air. Trust me, I was so nervous I forgot John 3: 16. But thank God for His empowerment and grace, and thank God for all the people He has sent to encourage me. Oh, not forgetting the trio we shared to last Sunday. This Sunday, 2 of them were back there. And they accepted Christ! Praise the Lord! :)
It's about 2 weeks before I leave for the Philippines. I can't say I'm prepared. But it's gonna be so exciting.
And time, it seems to be pulling me too quickly now.

The week was a dramatic one. Part 2 of practicum was great. That aside, all my activities seemed to collide together in a week. It was kind of a mad rush throughout, settling matters and going places. Tiring, but... Fulfilling, in a sense.

The week in school was a wonderful experience for me. It wasn't fun like last week, but I've definitely seen and learnt a lot more. To me, it was "fun" in a different manner. Last week was honeymoon, this week was reality. The real deal, the kind of environment and people that will be a major part of my life for years and years to come. It was good that I could have an exposure. Perhaps I enjoyed it as I was merely dealing with everything from a spectator's point of view. I probably wouldn't have found it much fun if I were the one having to handle all of that. But it was indeed an eye-opener for me.

I could say that I've been from elite environments practically all my life. From primary school to JC, coming from a family of high achievers... Having seen all that, it was a culture shock. But I realised, that's where the realness of life comes in. It's high time for me to step out of my comfort zone and really take a look at what's out there. Cos I'm not gonna be sheltered all my life. I can shy away from it, or I can walk out and attempt to do something. It's not gonna be easy, especially after I'd seen my limitations. But it will be exciting. When God sees you to it, He will see you through it. I'll keep learning, I'll keep trying.

Of course there were the funny moments too. How I'd laugh so hard during class till I tear-ed, yet had to try so hard to suppress my laughter to maintain my professional image (a few students noticed though), how a class said, "Thank you Ms Desk!" at the end of a lesson in perfect harmony thus amusing me to no end, how an English class almost became a Music lesson, how we'd have so many hours to kill in the staffroom and the 3 of us would be doing any random possible thing while everyone else was busy marking or preparing lesson plans (imagine someone watching videos and another knitting on a table so near the door that everyone walks past).

And how could I forget, the day when the school was so understaffed due to teachers leaving for Oral examinations, they actually had to ask an ignorant Year 1 aka me to take a class for CME. It was a disaster through and through. Thank God Premani was with me! Though she decided to go out of the class to scold a few students, leaving me trying to handle the students. It was an ultimate phail, no one listened to me at all. It was fun talking to them in groups though. And thank God they did what they were supposed to do and handed it in. That was what mattered, so I didn't really care that they were making so much noise and walking all around. Heh. Oh, and something so hilarious happened from this, it led the other trainees to conclude that I might have camouflaged into a student (somehow) and the students probably thought that I was one of their friends. LOL!!!! But anyway, lesson learnt - never enter a class smiling.

I miss the few days spent there. Though I'll be back again next year, it's gonna be so different. Ruth reminded me that I'm gonna be alone for 5 weeks! It should have occurred to me, seeing that I was the only Year 1 posted there this year, I'll naturally be the only Year 2 next year. Please post some Year 3s there! Oh well, I'll think about that next year. I just thank God for a great week, for all that I've seen and learnt. Thank God for the SCM, for the CTs, for the trainees, for every single staffroom and classroom moment. Thank God for the experience! :)

As 1T1 would say it, "Awesome!"

A friendship of 4 years and counting...

I've said this so many times, but on this special day of yours, I'm gonna say it again. I thank God for you. As I look back, I still find it amazing, how God allowed our paths to cross and we eventually became great friends. I remember you saying to me once, "Somehow God told me to help that brat behind me." You know, funny as it sounds, that probably was the reason I was seated behind you in class 4 years ago. You've certainly helped me in many ways (beyond my Chemistry file). You've been a wonderful testimony, an encouragement, a listener, an advisor. Be it nonsensical or serious stuff, I can share it all with you. Thank God for you being in my life, for being someone I can share so much with, stuff that I don't share with the people around me. Thank you for being there for me, for encouraging me with God's Word, for sharing in my joys and pains, for talking nonsense with me, for hanging out with me. Most importantly, thank God for having placed you in my life to point me to Him. It took me 2 years, but as they say, it only takes a spark to get a fire going. So once again, thank God, and thank you. :)

Blessed Birthday, my Killer friend! :)

Here's to all the years we've shared together

All the fun we've had

You're such a blessing

Such a joy in my life

May the good Lord bless you

And may all your dreams come true

Indeed, that was pretty apt.

ps. I just had to use that picture. We probably look like houseflies, but doesn't it bring back memories! Lol.

Week 1 of my practicum at Temasek Primary is over, and thank God, it was great. Thank God for the school, the students, the staff, and the trainees. The students there are generally obedient, not to mention funny and adorable! Their little antics really brought to mind all the childish "stunts" that we used to do ourselves. The staff there are really helpful and approachable and of course, thank God for such a wonderful SCM, coordinating and arranging everything for us so well. Thank God for my fellow trainees as well, it made things easier that I knew Jocelyn and Serene beforehand. There were 7 of us (made up of Year 1s, Year 3s and Dip Ed-ers) in the morning session, so it was really great being able to interact with all of them.

I like it that each Year 1 was paired with a senior trainee (Year 3 of Dip Ed-er), so that there would be at least one person for me to talk to even if my timetable differed from everyone else's. Also, it made lessons less boring as well, to have someone to converse (secretly) with during observations! The bad thing was that Alvan, my partner, decided to be on MC for the first two days, so I was all alone on the first day. Thankfully, I got to follow Amelia on the second day, so it wasn't too bad. And Alvan finally came back on the third day, was nice getting to know him better, and to have someone provide the timetable for me lol! :p

Lesson observations passed really quickly. After all, each period in Primary school's only half an hour, and we only had to observe a few lessons per day. I had a fruitful time learning classroom management techniques. Even though they don't really apply to me since I'm in the Secondary track, it was still a good experience. And I was entertained by the kids as well, they're just so hilarious sometimes. The little things they do in class, their nonsensical excuses (which we used in the past) to get out of handing in homework, them turning around periodically to look at us seated at the back... Oh, and I love it when students bow and greet me along the corridors! I really wasn't used to it, but it was so cute of them! Lol.

I especially love the times spent in the staff room, which they call the penthouse (the teachers' common staff room is called the HDB flat, and the HOD office is called the landed property) lol. Since the other teachers located there were all in the afternoon session and there were 7 of us in the morning, we practically had the whole room to ourselves. I really enjoyed our chatting sessions, since we really had nothing to do outside of lessons. Well, the Year 3s and Dip Ed-ers did have stuff to do but they were often chatting with us as well. Thank God for allowing me to get to know the other trainees better, and for several meaningful sharings. And I realised once again how small the world is. Daniel and Alvan were from Tao Nan, and Alvan and Amelia were from Dunman High! But they're 2, 3 years my seniors, explains why I didn't see them around.

I had a little shock on the last day when Mr Fadly all of a sudden asked me to take over the class and teach for a little while. Technically, we weren't supposed to do that. But he said he wanted me to have an experience since it was my last day. So before I knew it, I was teaching problem sums to a class of P4s. It was a cool experience, thank God they responded to my questions. I probably made a few mistakes, but I'm thankful I made them now instead of during the actual Teaching Assistantship which will take place 2 years later. So thank God for the short time of practice!

I'd only spent 4 days there, but those were fun, enjoyable days and I really miss the school now! I miss taking the bus at 6.41am every morning with Amelia, observing a bunch of cute kids from the back, having obedient kids greet me along the corridors, having someone go to class with me all the time, the chatting/stoning/reading times in the penthouse, slacking in the canteen with the other trainees... I just miss the times spent in the school! And I really miss the seniors. Amelia said to me yesterday before she went for her meeting, "Hey, we might never see each other again. So I'll say goodbye first." Man... That was so sad. Well, hopefully we'll see one another again in school somehow!

To the Year 3s and Dip Ed-ers who'll be spending another month there, all the best for the observation by the supervisor! You guys can do it! And to the Year 1s who're all headed to different Secondary schools next week, let's try to enjoy ourselves. For most of us, we're in the Secondary track, so that's where we're ultimately going. And we'll be back there next year for a whole 5 weeks, so yeah, let's try to like our new environments! :)

Thank God once again for the awesome experience at Temasek Primary. I really like it there, I miss those days that had just passed, and I'm sad that I'm never going back there again. But well... It's time to move on.

Next stop, the school beside the reservoir.

Ignorance is bliss.

But curiosity killed the cat.

I was like, troubled the whole night and decided to sleep on it. I was awakened from my nap shortly after by a knock on the door. I chose to say "I'm tired", shrugged it off, and went back to slumber. Somehow I had a dream regarding that. I can't remember what happened, but it was sad. I woke up feeling confused and lonely. I opened my room door, went outside, and saw a welcoming sight. :)

The world does deal us with so many problems. After facing all of that, all we want to do is just go back into the company of our loved ones. Just being by their side, hearing their voices... It's so comforting.

Sometimes, I realise how I've been taking the people around me for granted and I feel bad, I tell myself not to do it again. But I still do. I'm just so easily affected by the little things. But I'm trying, to be a better daughter, a better cousin, a better friend, a person that loves and cares, by His grace. Lord, help me, and help me to be wholly surrendered, fully dependent upon You.

Thank God for all that He has given me. Thank God that when all else fails, He never fails, when all things change, He doesn't change.

I do keep many things to myself, for many reasons. But even when no one seems to know, when no one seems to care, when no one seems to understand, God does. Thank You, Lord. :)