I’m just so thankful for the week gone by, I can’t even begin to thank God for having seen me through. The past few days were essentially spent on PBL, PBL, and more PBL. I do have loads to say about that, but I’ll leave that till next week, when we’ll officially be done with the whole thing. PBL’s a chore, really. But thank God for blessing me with wonderful group mates. The time we spent together almost everyday for the past few days (for Sarah, everyday) was to me, really enjoyable. How we suffered sleepless nights together, went crazy together, said the most random and stupid things… Yeah, it was totally BOOMZ. (Sarah, I’m so not the prognosticator of BOOMZ. Who’s the one who randomly BOOMZs man. Still, your Facebook post was really sweet. Thank you too, and keep smiling! :D) And yes, the SSC has since become our favourite haunt.

Thank God for the message yesterday, guess it was a really relevant topic for most of us. I’m often so distracted by a hundred things, my focus won’t stop shifting, and then it’s down to the dumps for me. Focus, focus, focus! And thank God for the little sharings last night, including the reminder that we are very weak people and it’ll be exhausting, if not impossible, to do everything in our own strength. Thank God that we can always depend on Him.

Thank God once again for the week! For PBL, for my group mates (especially my fellow BOOMZ-ers), for sustaining me, for great friends, for my Language assignment, for my Calculus test (I failed), for Thursday, for Grammar lessons, for my dad, for every word of encouragement… Yes, thank God, THANK GOD for this week! :) :) :)

Just something lame that came up during a PBL presentation yesterday.

“We, as teachers, should always put ourselves in the shoes of our students. I know that our students’ shoes might be too small for us to go into them, but we should still try.”

Gosh, that was totally lame. Nevertheless, I was laughing throughout.

To my BOOMZ group, let’s PRESS ON for our presentation and BOOMZ it cos PBL is BOOMZ and we are BOOMZ!!!!!!!!!

Did I mention that PBL drives people crazy?

Part of me wanted the bus ride to go on forever, so that my troubles could be flung off the bus at each stop and somehow disappear. Of course, it didn’t happen. The accumulation of emotions over the week eventually condensed into a stream of tears and I broke down on the bus. I felt bad. Being tired wasn’t an excuse. Beyond which thoughts just kept flowing in and out, and I became all pensive again.

I dazed in bed when I got home, with the ceiling for company, until I finally got round to picking up the phone for help. (No, that’s an exaggeration.) But I can’t thank God enough, that I can talk about Monday to Sunday and Sunday back to Monday without being coherent, without having to link anything and without identifying what’s frustrating me so much, and I can still be understood. It’s kinda… Amazing. But hey, thank you so much, what you said was a timely reminder for me. And I’m truly encouraged by how God has been working in you. Let’s press on together, once again! :)

Well, the whirlpool of emotions has finally died down. I realise, I’ve got so much to thank God for and I haven’t bothered to do so. Even the simplest of acts can really cheer one up. Let’s focus on the good of this week now. Thank God for the study-attempt-that-failed and shopping with Yuqian, thank God for LAAAR (my AAE101 assignment group, it should be LAAA now haha) for being so responsible and accepting, thank God for my PBL groupmates for their understanding and entertainment, thank God for Jesslyn for being so nice and steady about my last-minute ways, thank God for every single one who helped out for Vibe yesterday, thank God for every single message, every single sharing today, and thank God for all of you!

The stuff that amused me.

"Hey, our safe assignment score is 9%."
"Okay, but I think "had been fooled" should be changed to "have been fooled".
"Ooh I've changed it, and our score is now 11%."

And what made me laugh until I cried during Ed Psych.
My SMS to Yasmin: Hello! How's your day!
Her reply: Very good. What about yours? So what are you doing now? Having lessons?

We were sitting beside each other at that point of time.

The outcome of having unlimited SMS-es, you know? But it wasn't me who started this whole thing. Hahahaha. And this just proves that PBL either causes people to fall ill, or it drives people into extreme lame-ness and madness. :D

Speaking of which, here's a shoutout to my fellow fighters to press on over the next 2 weeks! I'm not planning to eat PBL, drink PBL and breathe PBL, but I'll DO PBL!!!

Take control...

And I keep reminding myself, over and over again. But reminders don't work until they've really sunk in. Apparently it hasn't. Because I'm overwhelmed with my own questions, instead of taking time to pause and listen to the answer. Because I'm only looking at what I cannot do, instead of what He can do. The reminders go on, I'm ostensibly convinced, but I continue questioning. And questioning, and questioning...

So, I ran out of patience. I didn't do anything, didn't say anything, but I felt everything hitting the boiling point. I think, it was exasperation verging on desperation. Currently, I'm confused. And once again, the questions come in. This time, I'm looking back.

I don't even know what I'm talking about now. All I do know, is that I'm super tired! Well more of physically this time. I haven't been waking up before sunrise on Wednesdays for 2 months (yeah you may infer for yourself what that means) and it was no easy battle between school and sleep, with the former, very thankfully, reigning this time. (Who can I blame but myself for rushing all my stuff last night.) I was soooooo sleepy I thought it possible for me to have been sleep-walking for a moment until I nearly fell into the drain beside me. Hahaha but that's not the point. The point is... School is a stressed-up land right now! I was just looking at my groupmates, looking around me, looking and listening... I decided, that having had 4 hours of sleep last night was good. Oh, to have someone prod me with a sense of urgency will be great.

Now isn't the time to think. Now isn't the time to watch. Now isn't the time to fear. Now isn't the time to cry. Now is the time, to depend and to DO.

People are never meant to fill an empty heart. He is.

You've gotta watch this, it's HILARIOUS! Especially if you're a J2 Math student preparing for your A's. Hahaha.

Much as I'm always looking forward to the weekends, I kinda can't wait for this week to be over. There seems to be sooooo much to do by Sunday and I'm procrastinating as usual. Thank God for the week gone by though, especially the later part. Yesterday must have been the first time I actually felt thankful to be able to go to school, thank God for my dad giving me a lift all the way there! I must have had at least 3 people greeting me with, "Hi Ruth, haven't seen you in a long time!" I'm just thin and hidden. Thank God for Grammar mid-term results, but I'm already prepared to fail both Math papers. And thank God for funny people hahahaha.

THE TRAUMA OF AED105 IS FINALLY OVER!!!!!!! Not that I was suffering for a long time since I only started last night (yes, enter the "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!") but I almost had a mental breakdown. Thank God for the strength and focus to complete it. I'd lasted 28 hours without sleep by the time I concussed! Haha. Moral of the story, never do a 2000-word essay one night before the deadline. Hunting for evasive information from websites, books and journals just so that the citations can be done up is more than enough to kill. But let's see if I end up doing the same thing again for Ed Psych. Now for the next big thing - PBL, amidst other "smaller" assignments. Go go go!

Hmm. I guess we're getting affected one way or the other, and we're tired. At least, I'm quite tired, but I know that I shouldn't be. I should be on fire, but once again, it's a touch-and-go thing. How...?

The world is smaaaaaaaall. :)

"I started studying at 10pm."
"Wow, that's an improvement!"

That made me laugh.

Beyond my exasperation at some other stuff.

I'm gonna hit my limits.

Literally, and maybe not so literally.

Once again, I come to You, asking for Your love in and through me.

Thank God for the first boat-fishing experience, fine weather, food, fun, fellowship, fish, and false alarms. Lol.

A little schedule of the week to shock me into motivation.

Tues: Calculus Mid-term paper
Tues: PBL e-portfolio
Thurs: Algebra Mid-term paper
Fri: AED105 essay due
Fri: Ed Psych e-learning tasks due
Sun: Math online quiz due
Progress: ...

Woohoo! It's gonna be an exciting week ahead. I guess it has successfully overwhelmed me, but I'm... None the more motivated. I'M GOING TO SLEEP.

I've gotta magnify God.

Stop staring at the wall. There's nothing on it.

It feels as though I'm having another week of holiday. I decided to visit the doctor this afternoon. After the routine check-up, he said, "I'm going to cover you with lots of rest, I'll give you 2 days' MC for today and tomorrow." Oh, wow. This is really boomz. I wasn't feeling half as bad as yesterday but since he said to rest, I'll (very) gladly do so. And in doing so, the amount of hours I'll spend in school this week will probably total up to 5.

I can't believe that Farhan's out of Sg Idol. We all know how "awesome" he sounds, but we know also how Singapore usually votes. This is the 1 percent of the time Singapore votes right. It's totally boomz.

I apologise for the sudden Ris-like-ness in this post but thanks to the medication (which is making me feel more brain-dead than without), I'm... Yeah, brain-dead. And there're truckloads of studying and assignments parked outside my gates, which I still refuse to open...

Casting Crowns – Until The Whole World Hears

Lord, I want to feel your heart

And see the world through Your eyes

I want to be Your hands and feet

I want to live a life that leads

Ready yourselves, ready yourselves

Let us shine the light of Jesus in the darkest night

Ready yourselves, ready yourselves

May the powers of darkness tremble as our praises rise

Until the whole world hears, Lord, we are calling out

Lifting up Your name for all to hear the sound

Like voices in the wilderness we're crying out

As the day draws near

We'll sing until the whole world hears

Lord, let your sleeping giant arise

Catch the demons by surprise

Holy nation sanctified

Let this be our battle cry

Ready yourselves, ready yourselves

Let us shine the light of Jesus in the darkest night

Ready yourselves, ready yourselves

May the powers of darkness tremble as our praises rise

Until the whole world hears, Lord, we are calling out

Lifting up Your name for all to hear the sound

Like voices in the wilderness we're crying out

As the day draws near

We'll sing until the whole world hears

Want to be Your hands and feet

Want to live a life that leads

To see You set the captive free

Until the whole world hears

And I pray that they will see more of You and less of me

Lord, I want my life to be the song You sing

Until the whole world hears, Lord, we are calling out

Lifting your name up for all to hear the sound

Like voices in the wilderness we're crying out

As the day draws near

We'll sing until the whole world hears

Not bright enough, the intensity of the lamp isn't at its greatest.
Not loud enough, the volume of the speaker isn't at its highest.

Focus. Focus.

Not on the wall.

The recess week came and went. I enjoyed my night life for a bit once again, caught up on my sleep, completed the Lexical Relations assignment, didn't bother starting on the Critical Perspectives essay (DEADLINE HAS BEEN EXTENDED!!!!), left Math as it is, did some PBL, loved the short rest, wished and still wish it were longer... And had a fuse shorter than usual.

That last point sunk in last night. I spent some time in bed digesting moments of the week that had gone by, musing over the fact that I actually have friends. I'm not starting a documental critique on myself, but honestly. Judging my impatience towards the people around me and how irritable I can be, the fact that they remain so tolerant and concerned, it just overwhelms me sometimes. At least, it did last night. Thank God for having spoken to me about something, a little matter, but I guess the message got through.

We often hear, that there's nothing we can do to make God love us more, nothing we can do to make God love us less. God doesn't love us because we first loved Him, because we please Him, because we excel in life, becase we are good-looking. He just loves us, the way we are, each and every one of us. It amazes me. God's love is far greater than any of us can ever comprehend and I know I can never ever say that I'm deserving of this love. I really have to depend on Him, to be made an empty vessel for His love to flow.

Ha. I was at Eunos station just now and while I was walking past two girls, I noticed one of them looking at me. She didn't look too familiar, I thought that she was staring at me cos she's never seen such a skinny person in her life and was about to walk past until she stopped me and said, "Hi! Do you want a ride home?" I looked at both of them and found the other girl vaguely familiar. Oh, they're my cousins who live two or three houses away from me! HAHA. Alright, I'll admit, I don't know my relatives all that well even though we live so close to one another. At least they recognise me. :D Yep I hitched a ride from them, it was an enjoyable and amusing chat back. :) It's good to have so many relatives living nearby, haha.

I'm drowning in an invisible pile of work (cos I've yet to lift a finger to attempt completing it)... And I can't stop sneezing. Heeee.