So Small

My brain was at saturation point from all that intense cramming, and I decided to take a breather along the area between Marina Square and Esplanade. As I soaked in the fresh evening air, gazed at the vast skyline and towering buildings, I felt so small. And it dawned on me that as I was small, so was everything around me and of me. My circumstances, my problems, my dreams, my plans - of which constitute the mountain I've been climbing, at the end of the day, are just grains of sand. In the eyes of God.

I've held much hope for my results this semester. Because I wish to salvage the ruins that my Math modules WILL cause, I told myself that I had to do well for my English and Education modules. I had to get A's. But after what happened last week and what was in my human tunnel-visioned term "a crushing defeat" yesterday, all hope seems lost. So while I was enjoying a short time of worship and prayer with Him just now, everything in my mind just clicked. Those were my plans, my thoughts, my desires. Did I even commit them to Him?

Thank God for speaking to me in those 20 precious minutes. I no longer want to be constrained by my own thoughts. I want to lift them up to Him and trust in His outcome for me. As I begin the battle tomorrow, I want to hum this song in my heart, and truly mean it.

All of my ambitions, hopes and plans
I surrender these into Your hands...

All to You, and all for You.