Learn To Teach

This practicum presented to me my first teaching opportunity. Prior to the practicum, I was sure I didn't want to get involved in the hard work of teaching since I wouldn't be required to do so. So I couldn't believe it when I actually told my Math CT that I wouldn't mind teaching. Fortunately or unfortunately, she granted my request and gave me quite a number of lessons to teach, including an entire chapter! (Of which thinking back, I hope I did justice to it.)

Teaching is tiring. Think of talking with a raised voice for a full hour, telling students to keep quiet and go back to their seats 348729356 times per lesson, repeating instructions and over and over again, explaining the same questions individually to so many students, feeling frustrated when their foundations aren't there, being annoyed at their behaviour... After every lesson, I'd just be so tired. But despite all this, I can honestly say that I enjoyed myself. It was tough, but I love the experience, and am thankful for it.

I have so much to learn. I have to learn to scold and shout (lol). I have to learn to lower my expectations. I have to learn to be patient when students don't understand their concepts. I have to learn to be willing to spend time grounding their basics. I have to learn to be way more prepared for each lesson. I have to learn to slow down. I have to learn to toughen up for the exponentially greater load that is to come. I have to learn to depend on Him. So that I can learn to love each one of them.

I can say outright that despite the noise levels and occasional annoyance, I love my students from the three classes. But that's because I'm only seeing them for five weeks. Right now, I do not have the confidence to say that I can love my students in future when I'll be seeing them everyday of the year. But ultimately, I have to remember that a student is not just a student, but a person with a soul. And I know I will not be able to love them apart from His love.