Learn To Teach

This practicum presented to me my first teaching opportunity. Prior to the practicum, I was sure I didn't want to get involved in the hard work of teaching since I wouldn't be required to do so. So I couldn't believe it when I actually told my Math CT that I wouldn't mind teaching. Fortunately or unfortunately, she granted my request and gave me quite a number of lessons to teach, including an entire chapter! (Of which thinking back, I hope I did justice to it.)

Teaching is tiring. Think of talking with a raised voice for a full hour, telling students to keep quiet and go back to their seats 348729356 times per lesson, repeating instructions and over and over again, explaining the same questions individually to so many students, feeling frustrated when their foundations aren't there, being annoyed at their behaviour... After every lesson, I'd just be so tired. But despite all this, I can honestly say that I enjoyed myself. It was tough, but I love the experience, and am thankful for it.

I have so much to learn. I have to learn to scold and shout (lol). I have to learn to lower my expectations. I have to learn to be patient when students don't understand their concepts. I have to learn to be willing to spend time grounding their basics. I have to learn to be way more prepared for each lesson. I have to learn to slow down. I have to learn to toughen up for the exponentially greater load that is to come. I have to learn to depend on Him. So that I can learn to love each one of them.

I can say outright that despite the noise levels and occasional annoyance, I love my students from the three classes. But that's because I'm only seeing them for five weeks. Right now, I do not have the confidence to say that I can love my students in future when I'll be seeing them everyday of the year. But ultimately, I have to remember that a student is not just a student, but a person with a soul. And I know I will not be able to love them apart from His love.

I'm Glad...

I have decided to archive the experience of the Europe trip and church camp in my own memories, between me and God. Because it's time to move on.

In the past week...

I'm glad I took a little step to organise a small surprise celebration for my colleague's birthday. That simple deed made her so happy it simply blessed my heart. Thank God for my fellow trainees being so spontaneous and supportive. What can I say, but God has been so good throughout my practicum. I remember how I was deadly afraid to go to school on the first day 'cos I thought that I was the only one posted there. But He brought alongside 10 other trainees from different programmes, different universities. I thank God for these wonderful colleagues and how we get along so well together.

I'm glad I went for Street E last Thursday despite the major discouragement I faced the week before. I struggled to decide whether or not to go, as I had half concluded that I wasn't cut out for Street E. The eventual decision to go showed me once again how God honours the little steps of faith, and led me to come up with my own quote (I love these things) - "The number one requirement in being used by God is not competence in our work, but compliance with His Word." Thank God for the open hearts that day, may He work in them that these precious souls might come to know Him.

I'm glad I had an opportunity to teach for the first time ever yesterday. It was a Sec 2 Math class. I don't think I taught everything crystal clear, but we've all got to start somewhere, don't we. Thank God for giving me the voice and helping me cope with the stress of being observed by my cooperating teacher.

I'm glad I stayed back to conduct a Math remedial class today. I left school at 5.20pm, but I was strangely happy. Happy that I could help the students in their work, happy that they were willing to ask me questions where they struggled, happy to be a dedicated trainee (for once) lol. I have loads to learn where teaching is concerned, I don't think I can say that I have the passion to teach as of now, and I know the road ahead is gonna be challenging. But by His grace and guidance, I will walk the path!

I'm glad, I'm just glad, because God is so good!