Results

It's always a heart-attack moment when I check for my exam results. It was no different on Tuesday. In fact, it was a freaky instance. A few of us casually mentioned the release of results, wondering when that would be. Seconds later, an SMS came in saying that the results had been released! Talk about speaking of the "devil"...

I am simply overwhelmed with thanksgiving for my results. Words can't even express how happy and thankful I am! Granted, my GPA isn't fantastic. But don't they say, beggars can't be choosers? It makes no sense for a failure in Math to expect a First-Class Honours GPA.

Firstly, thank God that I passed both my Math modules! That was the biggest worry for me. Beginning of the semester, I never saw myself being able to pass. I struggled big time for both modules, so much that the idea of completely dropping Math came to mind. The only reason I continued on was all the hassle involved. Over the semester, I never really understood any of the lectures, never once passed any of the Math tests, never did well for the assignments. I remained clueless even up till a couple of days before the exams. It was only during the one to two days before each paper that I started cramming concepts into my head. When I look back on the meagre effort I put in and how I blanked at least 35 marks of the paper for each module, it's a miracle I passed. (And got 2 grades above a pass for one of them. Like that's super fantastic, but it's an added consolation, lol.) And it's a miracle done by Him.

The only thing I hoped for prior to the release was to pass my Math. I didn't care if I were to get a C for the rest of my modules. In fact, I was sure that I wouldn't do well for the rest of the papers as well and would see a major dip in my GPA. But by His grace, I got 2 A- grades for my English modules! That was a crazy surprise for me. I feel that I hardly put in any effort for both modules. One in which I crammed in a day, the other in 3 hours. After each paper, I felt like I was toast as I completely smoked my way through and my answers were so different from everyone else's. Also for one of the modules, I did pretty badly for my assignments. Based on calculations, I reckon that I must have gotten at least an A for the exam to get such a final grade. Which seems so impossible when I think back on the nonsense I wrote. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the grades. I know it's just so impossible and I really do not deserve it. His grace never fails to amaze me...

For the past three semesters, I've been pleasantly surprised at my results. But I would say that this is the first time I'm truly, truly thankful. Not that I wasn't thankful in the past. But with my thanksgivings came laments on how my GPA would have soared if not for Math pulling my grades down. There was always an element of human nature - our ability to complain about anything and everything - involved. I guess the reason why I'm so thankful this time is due to how much I struggled last semester. It was a tough time throughout. Even the exam period was tougher than usual. I had to juggle other commitments, did not have much time to study, spent my entire study week doing anything but study, felt utterly depressed and discouraged. The fact that I survived all that and obtained results like this, it's just sweetly unbelievable. Yeah, there really is a reason for everything He puts us through. The past semester's struggles have really made me so much more appreciative of what I have.

I pray for humility. In times like this, my head gets big and I start thinking to myself how smart I am. But truly, that was His strength made perfect in my weakness.

Thank You, Lord!