I was really disappointed. The matter has been on my mind for the past 5 days, I've been praying about it, and I really wanted to hear a "yes". But the answer was otherwise.

An answer that has always come up the first time I'd ask my mum about an overseas trip. Subsequently, it would be a "yes". But I really don't know about this time. My mum's firm about it. It certainly doesn't look like she's about to change her mind anytime soon. And I've only got another 2 days to ask her again.

But I guess it wasn't just her answer that frustrated me. Rather, it was what she said, and what my dad said. It hurts to see someone supposedly on one level thinking on another level. And it hurts when external factors that have got nothing to do with the matter are brought in to be a control over me.

Then again... I've just been brought into the shoes of many people. What used to be so easy for me, is now a whole new ball game altogether. Do I continue to trust, or do I accept it as it is? Do I wait, or do I go on hoping for my way?

As for God, His way is perfect; the Word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him.

Psalm 18: 30

God's plan for me is perfect. Even if I don't think it is, even if it's not what I want, even if I insist on having my way. I'm still praying. If it's God's will for me, He will definitely make a way. If it's not, it's not for me to try and break down doors, but to trust Him for what He has in store for me.

When all things are beyond my control, Lord, You're still in control. Help me to give thanks to You in all circumstances and to trust and be satisfied in Your plan for me. May Your will be done.