Time, it makes what has happened on hindsight so amazing.
Who would have thought that one of the kids I mentored 5 years ago would be the Chairperson of DHSCO today. Wow. Wow... And I'm still waiting, for the day when the successor to MY throne comes from my section. It's been 5 years now.
Pardon me, but I've been thinking a lot on the past lately. All thanks to the show No Limits, which has to fuse swimming and music together to evoke those memories. Or may I say regrets. All the while, I wanted the medals but I didn't want to train. I ended up with just one. I wanted the distinctions but I didn't want to practise. I ended up not completing my Grade 8 at all, for both. I wanted the results but I didn't want to study. I ended up where I am today. Well maybe I could feel proud of what I've accomplished with the Dizi. But not like I'm getting opportunities in the present anyway. What's there to speak of now? Well, thank God. It's a reminder that the glorious days of me have been replaced by the glorious days of Christ. It's really not about me anymore, never should have been. Rather, it's about what God can do through this weak, helpless being with nothing to my name. It's a long, long road ahead and at the end of it, all those things that I've mentioned, they don't matter.
Alright, it's time to get back to the present.
God has been good. What was an almost traumatic experience resulted in great insights gained on several aspects I've never really been clear of. Thank God for you guys patiently answering my questions. I'm humbled by the fact that there're so many things I don't know. I've got to really delve deep... Thank God for Street-E. I've been trying to progress bit by bit, and I got to share the whole Gospel for the first time on Wednesday. Amidst stuttering and stammering and lots of dead air. Trust me, I was so nervous I forgot John 3: 16. But thank God for His empowerment and grace, and thank God for all the people He has sent to encourage me. Oh, not forgetting the trio we shared to last Sunday. This Sunday, 2 of them were back there. And they accepted Christ! Praise the Lord! :)
It's about 2 weeks before I leave for the Philippines. I can't say I'm prepared. But it's gonna be so exciting.
And time, it seems to be pulling me too quickly now.

The week was a dramatic one. Part 2 of practicum was great. That aside, all my activities seemed to collide together in a week. It was kind of a mad rush throughout, settling matters and going places. Tiring, but... Fulfilling, in a sense.

The week in school was a wonderful experience for me. It wasn't fun like last week, but I've definitely seen and learnt a lot more. To me, it was "fun" in a different manner. Last week was honeymoon, this week was reality. The real deal, the kind of environment and people that will be a major part of my life for years and years to come. It was good that I could have an exposure. Perhaps I enjoyed it as I was merely dealing with everything from a spectator's point of view. I probably wouldn't have found it much fun if I were the one having to handle all of that. But it was indeed an eye-opener for me.

I could say that I've been from elite environments practically all my life. From primary school to JC, coming from a family of high achievers... Having seen all that, it was a culture shock. But I realised, that's where the realness of life comes in. It's high time for me to step out of my comfort zone and really take a look at what's out there. Cos I'm not gonna be sheltered all my life. I can shy away from it, or I can walk out and attempt to do something. It's not gonna be easy, especially after I'd seen my limitations. But it will be exciting. When God sees you to it, He will see you through it. I'll keep learning, I'll keep trying.

Of course there were the funny moments too. How I'd laugh so hard during class till I tear-ed, yet had to try so hard to suppress my laughter to maintain my professional image (a few students noticed though), how a class said, "Thank you Ms Desk!" at the end of a lesson in perfect harmony thus amusing me to no end, how an English class almost became a Music lesson, how we'd have so many hours to kill in the staffroom and the 3 of us would be doing any random possible thing while everyone else was busy marking or preparing lesson plans (imagine someone watching videos and another knitting on a table so near the door that everyone walks past).

And how could I forget, the day when the school was so understaffed due to teachers leaving for Oral examinations, they actually had to ask an ignorant Year 1 aka me to take a class for CME. It was a disaster through and through. Thank God Premani was with me! Though she decided to go out of the class to scold a few students, leaving me trying to handle the students. It was an ultimate phail, no one listened to me at all. It was fun talking to them in groups though. And thank God they did what they were supposed to do and handed it in. That was what mattered, so I didn't really care that they were making so much noise and walking all around. Heh. Oh, and something so hilarious happened from this, it led the other trainees to conclude that I might have camouflaged into a student (somehow) and the students probably thought that I was one of their friends. LOL!!!! But anyway, lesson learnt - never enter a class smiling.

I miss the few days spent there. Though I'll be back again next year, it's gonna be so different. Ruth reminded me that I'm gonna be alone for 5 weeks! It should have occurred to me, seeing that I was the only Year 1 posted there this year, I'll naturally be the only Year 2 next year. Please post some Year 3s there! Oh well, I'll think about that next year. I just thank God for a great week, for all that I've seen and learnt. Thank God for the SCM, for the CTs, for the trainees, for every single staffroom and classroom moment. Thank God for the experience! :)

As 1T1 would say it, "Awesome!"

A friendship of 4 years and counting...

I've said this so many times, but on this special day of yours, I'm gonna say it again. I thank God for you. As I look back, I still find it amazing, how God allowed our paths to cross and we eventually became great friends. I remember you saying to me once, "Somehow God told me to help that brat behind me." You know, funny as it sounds, that probably was the reason I was seated behind you in class 4 years ago. You've certainly helped me in many ways (beyond my Chemistry file). You've been a wonderful testimony, an encouragement, a listener, an advisor. Be it nonsensical or serious stuff, I can share it all with you. Thank God for you being in my life, for being someone I can share so much with, stuff that I don't share with the people around me. Thank you for being there for me, for encouraging me with God's Word, for sharing in my joys and pains, for talking nonsense with me, for hanging out with me. Most importantly, thank God for having placed you in my life to point me to Him. It took me 2 years, but as they say, it only takes a spark to get a fire going. So once again, thank God, and thank you. :)

Blessed Birthday, my Killer friend! :)

Here's to all the years we've shared together

All the fun we've had

You're such a blessing

Such a joy in my life

May the good Lord bless you

And may all your dreams come true

Indeed, that was pretty apt.

ps. I just had to use that picture. We probably look like houseflies, but doesn't it bring back memories! Lol.

Week 1 of my practicum at Temasek Primary is over, and thank God, it was great. Thank God for the school, the students, the staff, and the trainees. The students there are generally obedient, not to mention funny and adorable! Their little antics really brought to mind all the childish "stunts" that we used to do ourselves. The staff there are really helpful and approachable and of course, thank God for such a wonderful SCM, coordinating and arranging everything for us so well. Thank God for my fellow trainees as well, it made things easier that I knew Jocelyn and Serene beforehand. There were 7 of us (made up of Year 1s, Year 3s and Dip Ed-ers) in the morning session, so it was really great being able to interact with all of them.

I like it that each Year 1 was paired with a senior trainee (Year 3 of Dip Ed-er), so that there would be at least one person for me to talk to even if my timetable differed from everyone else's. Also, it made lessons less boring as well, to have someone to converse (secretly) with during observations! The bad thing was that Alvan, my partner, decided to be on MC for the first two days, so I was all alone on the first day. Thankfully, I got to follow Amelia on the second day, so it wasn't too bad. And Alvan finally came back on the third day, was nice getting to know him better, and to have someone provide the timetable for me lol! :p

Lesson observations passed really quickly. After all, each period in Primary school's only half an hour, and we only had to observe a few lessons per day. I had a fruitful time learning classroom management techniques. Even though they don't really apply to me since I'm in the Secondary track, it was still a good experience. And I was entertained by the kids as well, they're just so hilarious sometimes. The little things they do in class, their nonsensical excuses (which we used in the past) to get out of handing in homework, them turning around periodically to look at us seated at the back... Oh, and I love it when students bow and greet me along the corridors! I really wasn't used to it, but it was so cute of them! Lol.

I especially love the times spent in the staff room, which they call the penthouse (the teachers' common staff room is called the HDB flat, and the HOD office is called the landed property) lol. Since the other teachers located there were all in the afternoon session and there were 7 of us in the morning, we practically had the whole room to ourselves. I really enjoyed our chatting sessions, since we really had nothing to do outside of lessons. Well, the Year 3s and Dip Ed-ers did have stuff to do but they were often chatting with us as well. Thank God for allowing me to get to know the other trainees better, and for several meaningful sharings. And I realised once again how small the world is. Daniel and Alvan were from Tao Nan, and Alvan and Amelia were from Dunman High! But they're 2, 3 years my seniors, explains why I didn't see them around.

I had a little shock on the last day when Mr Fadly all of a sudden asked me to take over the class and teach for a little while. Technically, we weren't supposed to do that. But he said he wanted me to have an experience since it was my last day. So before I knew it, I was teaching problem sums to a class of P4s. It was a cool experience, thank God they responded to my questions. I probably made a few mistakes, but I'm thankful I made them now instead of during the actual Teaching Assistantship which will take place 2 years later. So thank God for the short time of practice!

I'd only spent 4 days there, but those were fun, enjoyable days and I really miss the school now! I miss taking the bus at 6.41am every morning with Amelia, observing a bunch of cute kids from the back, having obedient kids greet me along the corridors, having someone go to class with me all the time, the chatting/stoning/reading times in the penthouse, slacking in the canteen with the other trainees... I just miss the times spent in the school! And I really miss the seniors. Amelia said to me yesterday before she went for her meeting, "Hey, we might never see each other again. So I'll say goodbye first." Man... That was so sad. Well, hopefully we'll see one another again in school somehow!

To the Year 3s and Dip Ed-ers who'll be spending another month there, all the best for the observation by the supervisor! You guys can do it! And to the Year 1s who're all headed to different Secondary schools next week, let's try to enjoy ourselves. For most of us, we're in the Secondary track, so that's where we're ultimately going. And we'll be back there next year for a whole 5 weeks, so yeah, let's try to like our new environments! :)

Thank God once again for the awesome experience at Temasek Primary. I really like it there, I miss those days that had just passed, and I'm sad that I'm never going back there again. But well... It's time to move on.

Next stop, the school beside the reservoir.

Ignorance is bliss.

But curiosity killed the cat.

I was like, troubled the whole night and decided to sleep on it. I was awakened from my nap shortly after by a knock on the door. I chose to say "I'm tired", shrugged it off, and went back to slumber. Somehow I had a dream regarding that. I can't remember what happened, but it was sad. I woke up feeling confused and lonely. I opened my room door, went outside, and saw a welcoming sight. :)

The world does deal us with so many problems. After facing all of that, all we want to do is just go back into the company of our loved ones. Just being by their side, hearing their voices... It's so comforting.

Sometimes, I realise how I've been taking the people around me for granted and I feel bad, I tell myself not to do it again. But I still do. I'm just so easily affected by the little things. But I'm trying, to be a better daughter, a better cousin, a better friend, a person that loves and cares, by His grace. Lord, help me, and help me to be wholly surrendered, fully dependent upon You.

Thank God for all that He has given me. Thank God that when all else fails, He never fails, when all things change, He doesn't change.

I do keep many things to myself, for many reasons. But even when no one seems to know, when no one seems to care, when no one seems to understand, God does. Thank You, Lord. :)

I was upset the whole of yesterday, I was upset today, and will probably be everytime I'm reminded of it for the next one year. Just because of one simple thing that I didn't do, I've given myself an additional, unnecessary, to an extent painful burden for a whole period of 4 months. I feel extremely frustrated within me. If only, if only... But what's the use of saying all that now? We can't turn back time. All I can say is, lesson learnt, the hard way.

I wanna thank God. I felt terrible yesterday morning, I couldn't believe they had to call me all the way back just to deliver a one-sentence verdict that could have easily been conveyed through email. I was just... Annoyed, sad, angry at myself. The heavy rain didn't help. But thank God, I was comforted just knowing that He's always here for me. I didn't feel like talking about it. But I can just commit it all to Him. Because He's still in control, and He'll see me through this mess.

Alright, my breakfast is here. As you can see, I'm up bright and early to prepare for service.

Nah, I haven't slept. Basically, I had a night of fun activities. Midnight swimming, followed by Wii at my place, till the wee (hahaha) hours in the morning. My cousins left my place about 2 hours ago, after which I decided to do my own stuff and before I knew it... Well, I might as well not go to sleep since I've technically got to be up in less than an hour's time.

You know, it doesn't take much to make kids happy. Just tell them that you're gonna sit outside with them and they go, "yay!" Yet sometimes I'd be so preoccupied with my own stuff that I wouldn't think twice about the "kids' stuff". I thank God for my cousins, really. I had so much fun with them this holiday, I'm just so thankful for the time we could spend together. To y'all, PRESS ON AT SCHOOL!

And I had a great day with you girls. :)

Who can forget the quote of the day?

"Hey, I can't find Taka. I'm outside Kino now." (Yes, our dear Cristal was referring to the Kino INSIDE Taka.) LOL!

Praise the Lord, I'm going to the Philippines!!!!!! Although it's only for a week, I'm extremely thankful, and I'm extremely happy. Thank God for opening the doors to a wonderful opportunity to take a look at the harvest out there! :)

I'd been praying fervently the past few days after my mum said no for the first two times. I'd wanted to ask her last night but I didn't have the chance to. I had to ask by tonight, cos they're gonna book the tickets tomorrow. I prayed and I prayed, until I received a text from Cheryl saying that she was gonna ask soon. I thought that I'd ask too, so I prayed a little more and went to ask.

I thank God for the conversation with my mum. Prior to that I'd been praying that God would soften her heart. And He did. Her tone wasn't as harsh as last week, and she didn't bring in the other issues she did the last time to stop me from going. Thank God for giving me the patience as well, to talk nicely with my mum. Cos yeah, the first time didn't go well. Her response at the end of it was that I could go if I wanted to, but her answer would still be no, she wasn't gonna support my decision cos she maintained that it'd be dangerous. I was left confused after that, I didn't know what I should do. I wanted to go, but I wanted my mum's support, and I wasn't gonna get it at that time.

Apparently Cheryl's mum gave the exact same response. And Cheryl said that she was going ahead to book the ticket. I thought to myself, hey, I can do the same thing too! But somehow I just didn't have the peace. I prayed, I asked for advice, and Cheryl suggested asking Hwee Min to speak to my mum to assure her of the safety, since she'd been there 5 times. I asked my mum if she wanted to speak to her, but she said there wasn't a need to, it's just dangerous. So, that was out for me.

Amidst my moments of dilemma, somehow a thought came to me, that perhaps I could ask my mum to let me go for one week instead (I'd been asking her if I could go for two weeks). I went to my mum's room for a third time (by then I thought that she'd have yelled at me for bugging her incessantly) and asked. And she replied immediately, "Okay, when are you going?" I really couldn't believe that. Seriously, thank God, that's all I can say.

Thank God for working in my mum's heart and making a way for me to go. Thank God for everyone's prayers (really, really appreciate them) and reminders to have faith. I admit, I grew doubtful along the way but thank God for these two words that I've been seeing the past few days. Indeed, God will make a way where there seems to be no way.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

Ephesians 3: 20

Keep praying for Cheryl, that she'll be able to go with her mum's blessings. Thank God for how He has been working in her life! :)

Now, it's gonna be exciting. Seeing that I've never even shared the Gospel before, let alone share it to a large group of people. I guess, that it's time to go for St. E!

I was really disappointed. The matter has been on my mind for the past 5 days, I've been praying about it, and I really wanted to hear a "yes". But the answer was otherwise.

An answer that has always come up the first time I'd ask my mum about an overseas trip. Subsequently, it would be a "yes". But I really don't know about this time. My mum's firm about it. It certainly doesn't look like she's about to change her mind anytime soon. And I've only got another 2 days to ask her again.

But I guess it wasn't just her answer that frustrated me. Rather, it was what she said, and what my dad said. It hurts to see someone supposedly on one level thinking on another level. And it hurts when external factors that have got nothing to do with the matter are brought in to be a control over me.

Then again... I've just been brought into the shoes of many people. What used to be so easy for me, is now a whole new ball game altogether. Do I continue to trust, or do I accept it as it is? Do I wait, or do I go on hoping for my way?

As for God, His way is perfect; the Word of the Lord is proven; He is a shield to all who trust in Him.

Psalm 18: 30

God's plan for me is perfect. Even if I don't think it is, even if it's not what I want, even if I insist on having my way. I'm still praying. If it's God's will for me, He will definitely make a way. If it's not, it's not for me to try and break down doors, but to trust Him for what He has in store for me.

When all things are beyond my control, Lord, You're still in control. Help me to give thanks to You in all circumstances and to trust and be satisfied in Your plan for me. May Your will be done.

Thank God for the church camp, my first one. I can't compare it to last year's, seeing that I didn't even consider going for that. People have been saying that it's different this year, fewer bonding activities, fewer places to go to, fewer things to be occupied with. I guess it's a little different from the usual camps I've been to. The fact that the withdrawal symptoms weren't that strong (but I still miss the camp), the fact that there seemed to be an absence in the emotional highs, the fact that there didn't seem to be a point in time we all felt connected together. Despite all this, I still feel that it was an amazing camp. I've definitely been blessed by it.

Perhaps sometimes, it's not about the strong surge of emotions or a spiritual high from an altar call but how God has been speaking and working and changing people. As Pastor Jaspers said, change should be constant in a Christian's life. I believe God has spoken to many of us during the camp. He really spoke to me during the sermons on the second and third night, as well as through the testimonies. He has shown me how lightly I've been treating the matter of my parents' salvation, how I've allowed anger and bitterness to reside in me all these years, how I've been treating and even hurting the people dearest to me, how I've been fumbling in my walk with Him, how I've just been grieving the Holy Spirit. It's hard. But it has to be a constant cry-out for strength, for humility. And of course, the willingness to surrender and to depend.

I do miss the camp. The very first day when nearly everything in our room seemed to be faulty and no one really bothered despite us calling the hotel staff at least 4 times, getting up all sleepy each morning for breakfast, going for sermons twice a day, gathering at night to worship, share and pray and knowing people better as a result (I really love those sessions), supper with random people and how Joel drove us out on the last night, worshiping and praying (illegally) in the children's pool, getting squashed terribly on the havoc train, playing with the kids on durian night (and almost getting torn into two lol), the late-night chatting sessions even though we knew we had to get up early the next day (my dear roommates took turns to make me talk to the air each night)... Really, thank God for an awesome camp. :)

Well, thank God for my results too. It's a long story, but whatever it is, God has been so gracious. And I've been so un-thankful, lamenting so much about that one bad grade that I got, overlooking the other grades that God has given me. I've got close to zero chance for the appeal, but it's a reminder to really trust Him, and to give thanks to Him in all circumstances.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18

Now, it's time to make some decisions.

Keep praying.

Tears relieve the burning brain, as a shower in the electric clouds. Tears discharge the insupportable agony of the heart, as an overflow lessens the pressure of the flood against the dam. Tears are the material out of which Heaven weaves its brightest rainbow.

F.B. Meyer

This is so beautiful.

It's 4 more days to church camp!

Wait, I haven't told my parents about it.

Whoops.

I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Ephesians 4: 1 - 3

Recently, I've found myself annoyed and impatient with people and things around me. Maybe today especially. There were so many thoughts running through my head, as though I'd been engulfed by a sudden surge of unhappiness from the past and present.

"Why are these people demanding so much of my energy?"

"Why are these people only able to think for themselves?"

"Why are these people bothering me like there's no tomorrow?"

"Why can't these people be a little more understanding?"

It's so easy to say, "These people are so annoying", but not so to be the one thinking less of me, myself and I and the so-called "hurt" that these people have inflicted on ME, and more of, well, these people. I guess, that these verses came timely. Why let such little things strain my relationships? After all, God doesn't love us for what we do but for who He is. Shouldn't we show forth His goodness, His grace, His love...

They always say, that we can't control our circumstances, but we can control our response to them. We can't control others' attitudes and behaviour, but we can control our attitude and behaviour. Grant me the love, humility, patience, understanding. Through reading the Word, through prayer. These I haven't been consistent with the past few weeks. The next few weeks, they'll go one way or the other.

You either start now, or you say later and you never start.

Lord, I really need You.

Verdant Dreams 2010, the first Woodwind and Percussion concert DHSCO has organised, the first Woodwind and Percussion concert held by a secondary school at an external concert hall (according to Mr Tay). 5 years back, this was what my batch had wanted to do, holding our very own Woodwind and Percussion concert in the school auditorium. We decided on a couple of songs, we came up with a rough poster design, but it never came to pass. It's just wonderful that after all these years, our dream's finally fulfilled! That already broke new grounds, and I'm extremely proud of what DHSCO has achieved.

I guess the sweetest thing for me each time I go back for DHSCO concerts, besides the onstage glamour and adrenaline rush, is the growth of not only the orchestra but also the individual members. It's pretty amazing, how we never used to believe in non-musical "gimmicks", but it has changed now. Why not? As long as the music standard isn't compromised, bringing little elements of fun onto the stage is always a joy for the performers and audience. And of course, it's always a beautiful sight looking at how the juniors blossom year after year, from timid little kids who were afraid even to play, to performers who're able to really let go and move with the music. I was talking to this junior yesterday, and she mentioned the East Zone Primary Schools camp where she was a mere Primary 4 kid and I was her student leader. Now, she's already in Year 3 and we're performing on the same stage! DHSCO just unites us in different ways, heh.

This concert's indeed one of the more fun and memorable ones, and it touched me in a different way. Perhaps it's a dream come true for the Woodwind and Percussion Ensemble, perhaps it's the pride of seeing the juniors grow, perhaps it's the delight in seeing long-lost seniors back again, perhaps it was simply the encore that saw Year 2 students all the way to working adults performing on the same stage. It's always nostalgic going back, and this time it was no different. Thank God for DHSCO, and the honour of being a part of this. :)

It has been the fastest 4 months that could ever pass. It seemed like just yesterday that I stepped into school, filled with uncertainty as to what the new semester would bring. And before I knew it, my first year has come to a close. Wow, wow! Talk about time flying... Hee.

This semester, it has been great. I didn't know what to expect at the beginning, but I guess we were soon thrown into the frenzy of academia before we even took ten breaths of the air around us. Haha alright maybe it wasn't all too bad at the beginning when time was still slow and we could afford to play our breaks away. Those were the times that SCARCZ could still meet up relatively often. Speaking of which, thank God for this absolutely wonderful group of friends. It's been awesome getting to know you folks better over the semester, been great hanging out with you all too! And thank God for allowing me to get to know other people so much better as well. Including my English-Math buddies whom I never thought existed last semester hahaha. I honestly thought that there were only 3 people who took this combi! Haha.

So after the initial honeymoon period, the semester got crazier, and crazier, and crazier. Time never felt so tight, and I'd never felt that stressed. Those times when it was deadline after deadline and knowing my character, I was just rushing, rushing and rushing. Until my body couldn't take it anymore and it protested. That was such a wrong breakdown time, the battle wasn't even half over. But thank God for His grace that sustained me, and for the people around me!

It wasn't easy. So often I struggled, especially since I skipped lessons like nobody's business last semester and just attending lessons was kind of a tall order. But I tried, and by God's grace, I kinda succeeded! (Yeah, there was a number of times I overslept and missed my lessons, and that occurred more frequently during the second term heehee.) I really thank God for His showers of blessings over the semester, be it friends, grades... Thank God for His grace and strength, I'd never have survived the sem without Him. Especially towards the end when it got real tough and so many times I wanted to just give up, thank God for the constant encouragement from the people around me. Calvin and his wise words (no wonder he's our Uncle Calvin hahaha hey that's a compliment), Charlotte and Amantha my study companions who encouraged me so much too, Sarah and her constant nagging for me to study and do my work hahaha, and Zenn for always being sooooo sweet and entertaining! Not to mention my beloved brothers and sisters-in-Christ who've been encouraging me and keeping me in prayer. Awww. Thank God for all of you! :)

The semester ended in a nightmare, but I really couldn't ask for more. It's all in His hands... Thank God for having seen me through the 4 months. Thank God for the highs, the lows, every single lesson He has taught me, every single person I've got to know. Thank God for the whole of year one!

And thank God for everyone's prayers over the days I was sick. The last time my fever hit 40 was... 10 years ago? Haha. Wasn't a good few days but I guess I've somehow repaid my sleep debt. Thank God for the rest. Still feeling spineless, but I'll be out of my house soon!

Thank You.

Overrated.

The test was the test, the exam's the real deal.

And I don't feel as confident as I'd like to be.

Really.

Then again...

Let it not be what I want, but what You know is best for me.

I need to be emptied of my pride, I need to depend, I need to be clear of my purpose.

Help me not to be confident in myself, but in You.

For You.

Lord, when You are glorified
My heart is satisfied to know
All praise and honour are Yours

I wanna be able to say it, and mean it.

Please take over.

Amidst the exam stress, here's something that got me laughing for half an hour loooool.

So Mavis was asking me about Phonetics over the phone.

Mavis: You know, n's brother right...
Me: What?!?!?! Anne's brother????? (I heard it as "Anne's brother" which is perfectly justified cos that makes more sense and I was wondering which Anne and who's her brother.)
Mavis: You know, that syllable that looks like the /n/ but it has a hook.

She was referring to this -> /ŋ/, which she calls /n/'s brother.

LOL!!!!! I totally couldn't stop laughing and I keep laughing whenever I think of it. Today's been fun in a sense I guess. Going for a porridge buffet halfway through studying, laughing at Charlotte for dozing off every 5 seconds when we were studying LOL (donchu find that absolutely amusing and amazing...) and the fact that she bought dresses from the kids' section. Heheheh! :D

Geez. I can't believe I'm so relaxed two days before the start of exams.

Oh, it's now one day.

Which also means 7 days to the end. Let's go let's go, add oil and PRESS ON!!!!!!

Do it for Him.

SOMEONE told me she's amazed by my resilience recently.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Hahahahahahaha!

aɪv faɪnəli kəmpli:tɪd ðə paɪl əv ə\saɪnmənts ɪts taɪm tə stɑ:t \/stʌding bət weəz maɪ sens əv \ɜ:dʒənsi aɪ mɪs træn\skraɪbɪŋ /dəʊntʃʊ

Two things I've learnt, dependence and compromise. Times when I actually felt stressed, when I was pushed out of my comfort zone, when I had to do things I hadn't done before and didn't feel like doing. I had to ask God for help and depend on Him to lead me. Because I couldn't do all of those in my own strength. Once again, the fact was emphasised, that His strength is made perfect in my weakness.

And compromise. Two people with completely different attitudes, characters, mindsets and approaches. Perhaps there were tiny clashes at times. But God does allow all things, big or small, to happen for a reason. How could I expect you to take a chill pill without stepping up on my part? I'm sure both of us learnt much from this. I don't know if ultimately what I did was enough, but I tried my best. I thank God for His grace and strength, and I thank God for you, my friend. :)

I couldn't have asked for a better group. Jason and his lol comments, "I think there're too many leaders for this project; there's only one follower." Shena with her random, out-of-the-world imagination, Weiting, my Thursday lunch-mate who just discovered how to use the print screen function (HAHA) and Sarah, who supported and reminded me of a thousand and one things throughout. It's amazing, how last-minute yet extremely efficient we are. Seriously... Thank God for the group!

Hmm.

Thinking back...

How can I?

'Cos at the end of it, it's still pretty awesome.

Thank God for the Easter musical. It was just amazing. Time was so tight, but thank God for His grace that made up for it all. Once again, I'm thankful and honoured to be a part of it. Perhaps my pictures weren't that beautiful, but I tried. And I really had fun watching the musical tens of times while clicking the slides, I was totally not tired of the acting and singing. Not forgetting how Uncle Ivan and Aunty Alice are always so sweet to us, how the desire of each and every one in the team to serve the Lord blesses my heart, how the sweet unity in the team remains of great encouragement to me, and how the Lord uses people to come together for a little production that reaches the lost. It's simply amazing. I had a blast, thank God for the musical, thank God for every single profession of faith.

More than that, thank God for the reminder of what genuine love is all about. We're so often caught up in the matters of our lives, we just forget how God loves us so much. Sometimes, we need reminders and events to bring us to the realisation once again. The thought struck me just now, and I was overwhelmed.

I am amazed to know that a God so great could love me so...

Our human minds can never contain and comprehend the vast love of God, yet He still loves us so.

Thank God, thank God for Easter, thank God for the musical.

To be honest, I wasn't looking forward to Easter a couple days ago. It felt that there was too much on my plate such that I couldn't lift it, yet I didn't feel like I could get rid of anything on it. Well the doctor didn't give me nerve supplements for nothing. *Cue Sarah's "remember to take your nerve supplements!"* Maybe, just maybe, it was a protest from my body, that it couldn't take my last-minute rushing anymore. So it went on a strike, leaving me overwhelmed by the amount of things I had to do, yet without the strength to accomplish anything. I was terrified at the thought of work.

I'm still extremely tired. But I thank God for His grace and strength. Thank God that the three shows for the Easter Musical went well today. I can't believe it's over. All the hard work, stress, fluster, late nights, irritation... Yeah, I'm kinda sad that it's over. Of course, there're two more shows on Sunday but that'll be a different atmosphere altogether. Thank God for the privilege to play a small part in glorifying a great God. I really enjoyed myself! There seems to be nothing that exciting clicking the slides but I really had fun lol. And what Calvin said is just so cool. "You're in front of everyone and everything else, yet you're behind everyone and everything else." Awesome... Of course, thank God for Yuqian and Lam Lee who came to watch the musical! Thank you, thank you! :)

I came to realise that the rest of the semester has been planned out and I almost fainted in the shower.

The remaining of the Easter Musical
Week of 5 April
Mon: Phonetics test (which I'll have no time to study for)
Tue: ALS first draft due (I haven't even distributed the questionnaires)
Tue: ICT essay to be completed
Fri: ICT presentation, group assignment stuff due
Week of 12 April
Mon: AAE102 group assignment due (no texts yet!)
Thur: Math test
Fri: ALS research paper due
Week of 19 April
Final exams kick off with 3 back-to-back papers (where do I find the time to start studying?)
Last paper ends 27 April (HOLIDAYS!!!!!!)

Hey, at the very least I've completed two. Uh, listing out the stuff and getting the dates right! Hurray.

Perhaps there was a slight disappointment. But I'm so thankful, thank God for the first step. In His time... :)

Blessed Easter!

The past two weeks have been tiring. But when I look back at it all, my heart just overflows with thanksgiving for how God has sustained me with His love, grace and strength. Many times I feel so undeserving of the blessings He has showered upon me. But time and time again I'm reminded of His abundant grace. I can't fully comprehend it, I can't explain it, but I stand thankful and amazed.

Your Grace Still Amazes Me - Phillips, Craig & Dean

My faithful Father, enduring Friend

Your tender mercy’s like a river with no end

It overwhelms me, covers my sin

Each time I come into Your presence

I stand in wonder once again

Your grace still amazes me

Your love is still a mystery

Each day I fall on my knees

'Cause Your grace still amazes me

Your grace still amazes me

Oh, patient Saviour, You make me whole

You are the Author and the Healer of my soul

What can I give You, Lord, what can I say

I know there’s no way to repay You

Only to offer You my praise

Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees

‘Cause Your grace still amazes me
Your grace still amazes me

It’s deeper, it’s wider

It’s stronger, it’s higher

It’s deeper it’s wider

It’s stronger, it’s higher

Than anything my eyes can see

Your grace still amazes me

Your love is still a mystery

Each day I fall on my knees
‘Cause Your grace still amazes me

Your grace still amazes me

"And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

2 Corinthians 12: 9

Thank You, Lord, for Your all-sufficient grace. Teach me to be humble, to acknowledge my weakness, to depend on You every step and every moment, to stand confident not in myself but in You.

Still feel uncomfortable despite a long nap. But I shan't be conquered by the sick monster. It's battle time!!!!!!

Are you EGGcited for Easter? :D :D